Colors, shades, moods...all my rangs

Books booze n bar

2012-01-08T06:15:00.000-08:00

One remarkably noticeable thing since last some time has been that I have now become a bit of a compulsive reader; hardly can I keep my hands off anything printed these days. Maybe it has to do with the lacuna of an active social life in this morose city which leaves one with nothing much to do or the complete lack of challenge that the organized lifestyle here offers, but each working day after returning home and hitting the gym I am all tucked up in bed with a drink and book for company.

My book list for past some months is not too impressive; I was hardly ever the classic connoisseur but I am game for anything that keeps me enthralled and entertained. Call it the lack of taste or rather taste for cheap stuff, I have been reading all kinds of trash off late. On my recent trip to India I picked up all that could be stuffed into my sky bags and have been reading all the racy stuff ever since; must say the new breed of emerging Chetan Bhagat clones have been doing a decent job doling out Sex and the City inspired tales without break. Infact going by the lifestyle depicted in all these books makes me wonder where we are headed to; during my last visit I found Gurgaon to be more flashy than Paris, Amsterdam or Dubai, I visited all three cities during last six months and found Gurgaon to be indeed most fast-changing, maybe Paris can be excepted here but New India certainly packs a punch

As it is not possible to read without any companion, so since the time young lad has come of age the hot cup of coffee has been substituted by something more sinister. Past some months I have tasted many alcoholic beverages of which I did not know much before and my tongue has got so much accustomed to taste of the hard liquid that I fear I may soon become a habitual drinker. Last evening when I finished another bottle of Scotch I was wondering how much accustomed I have become to regular intake of poison that I at times I feel something amiss if I keep my evenings dry

Talking of dry and juicy stuff this weekend I paid a late night visit to a nearby cabaret, must mention here the amazing dancer who danced so provocatively to Chikni Chameli that all men had their tongues out. Agreed Katrina has a better shape and spreads her legs better and wider during the dance but this youngster was no less raunchy in her small bottle green choli. Also when I was drinking here I could not stop myself from feeling how different the same drink tastes and feels when had in a dance bar with disco lights or if had in bed with a dreary read in hand although both would be at the same late night hour. I guess it is what goes on inside the mind that contributes more to the tinge than any of the added assortments

Meanwhile I have been on a bit of a record movie watching spree, hardly a weekend would have passed when I have not visited the nearby cinema; I was never much of a movie buff back home but in this place every Friday I find myself at the ticket counter. Last weekend I was taken aback when I was the lone audience watching Pappu Can’t Dance Saala (unbelievably the film was played only for me) but then there are times when there is nothing much to do so watching Neha Dhupia is certainly not a bad option

I guess a major reason I am penning down my pursuits here today is that I have been living alone for sometime, my quest for finding a decent flat mate during the past month is yet to bear any fruit. Its actually hard to find a decent metro guy in this city mainly comprising cattle class population but with late night ventures that keep one occupied who is complaining

The year that was

2011-12-27T00:26:00.000-08:00

Things that went well
1.Away from home: now don’t ask me to elaborate but I am glad to be away. Period
2.Europe trip: this will be the highlight of year. It took a long time to plan schedule but I am glad I undertook this venture, first time in my life I have splurged and explored new territory all on my own
3.Positive frame of mind: some years back I used to be in a constantly petulant mood but thankfully since sometime last year, with change of location, I have somewhat managed to keep negativity away. Old readers of my blog will vouch that my current life, if not too exciting is not much depressing either
4.Better work life: I have a better job now and thankfully this year saw some recognition coming my way, only hope it lasts long
5.More moolah: for a job to be better, better money is essential; thankfully have some dough with me now

Things that could have gone better
1.No chicks: now don’t label me a loser but this year was barren for me. Maybe I am too pre-occupied with thoughts of settling down so have not given any chase and also the old flirt chick has got busy with some stupid exam, so the drought continues
2.Shifting abode: it hurt badly when I had to reluctantly give up a good place and shift to the current insect hole. Shucks the old spacious carpeted place was indeed envious
3.Dull and dreary: apart from being peaceful the year has mostly been uneventful. Perhaps Muscat has now started getting to me with its lack of life and spirit but then I cannot complain much for was this independence not what I yearned for?
4.No investments : being away from India I am not tuned to how and where to invest, hopefully new year will shed some light

When do you say yes?

2011-12-21T06:31:00.000-08:00

As someone contemplating matrimony there is no shortage of proposals but the choices available can leave one confused, what with the options varying from Mayawati to Madonna. In the ensuing confusion at times it can be real hard to decide when to say yes, or even to forget what is right, its a bit akin to searching for lost possessions and then when you search long and hard you forget what you were originally searching for. My condition these days is too a bit similar, since I landed in this city last year and embarked on my hunt I am myself at times a bit skeptical whether to say yes, no or say nothing at all. But before all this one needs to evaluate and decide own criteria and maybe then hunt for the right fit so deciding upon criteria first becomes critical, few of my own are jotted below:

Compatibility: first and foremost criteria since two separate individuals are planning to live their life together. And this does not mean searching for a temporary flat mate, by the way I am looking for one these days, it is much more complex. All other stuff goes for toss here as this defies logic and at times even morality, I know couples who help each other get laid but then they are compatible.

Exposure: while hiring for corporate those exposed to best management practices stand best chance to get in, similarly those who have lived life independently and faced its fluctuations do make a better fit. It must be for some reason that children are sent to boarding schools away from home, some of those virtues attained there remain companions for life and are easily and appreciably evident even years later

Attitude: this is one of the most decisive factors and is simply a no-brainer. Last some years I have seen so many relationships and marriages go down the drain just because one of the two was acting unreasonable (and also maybe because the other person did not have the maturity to handle this difference) that I sometimes feel casinos are a lot safer bet than entering matrimony with an hitherto unknown person, believe me in a bad marriage there is simply lot to lose and sometimes the sole criminal is the irrational attitude of one or both partners

Background: no I do not mean any wealth here; it simply means someone who can be related with. Someone hailing from a professional or services background may make for a better companion for we may have seen life through similar lens, but then this is not a disqualification. As someone whose roots hail from South but has lived in North, another tricky aspect of culture gets added here

Looks : this is last and does not matter as much as it is made out to be or like many wrongly believe it to be. If looks were indeed that important there would never be so many divorces or break-ups in showbiz

Maybe when most of these criterion do match up, I am sure all of them will never match together unless that person is result of some cloning experiment, it maybe time to say yes but then again think twice and bide time before making the all important call.

Face in the mirror

2011-12-04T03:57:00.000-08:00

Today morning I stood in front of the mirror and looked at the face in it. The face looked familiar, it could have been of any man, a face so common that it could easily get lost in the crowd, a face one may never notice or remember for long. The face has nothing remarkable about it, infact the hairstyle looks too ordinary with no style whatsoever, lips never break into smile unless forced, some facial hair is present on otherwise clear skin which make up the round face. Those who see this face, often remark that this person is too seedha much incapable of any wrong doing or understanding the pitfalls of life

When I look at this face I often wonder who this man really is? He is someone who enjoys solitude for sure, for he has been alone most of his life. He is someone who hates violence as his calm face amply reflects. Is he someone naughty? Can never be, someone with such straight a face can never be mischievous. Can this person have done something wrong in his life? no no he can never hurt anyone, his composed face has no traces of anyone meddling into others affairs. Then if this person is so straight is he a saint? Maybe yes he is some sort of a saint though he has his own flaws. A quiet man may not have many flaws but then he may have his own needs. He has slept with whores twice but was it too wrong to have done so?

When I look deeper at the face I wonder what this man has gone through. He ran away from deeply tormented relations and is very relieved to be away from chaos. But then there is still a hint of infulfillment somewhere, those eyes may look sad but don’t think they were born to be this way. But wait whats this? There is no trace of any love on this face, it is possible this person may have never understood much about love and care. It is possible he may have been alone most of his life so doesn’t get much about what unconditional love and relations are all about but then he also realizes that life is not complete without love. Maybe he yearns for love and companionship deep within and is seeking fulfillment somewhere or possibly this man is confused as to what he really wants from life

Looking deep into the face, which has a stoic tranquility, I wonder what the future holds for this man. If I ask this man he too may not be having answers, after all who knows what future beholds. But wait this man looks scared, yes in fact he is very afraid of death, darkness and disease. His soft face betrays no trace of his soft personality, which has been exploited by many till now for this man knows nothing about getting back. Didn’t I tell you this man is a saint?

This face also has many contradictions and paradoxes. If he is so straight, his life shouldn’t have had any evil deeds, if he is so aloof how can he have a sense of humor and if he is so simple how come he relishes alcohol so much? Perhaps this face holds many mysteries and is remarkably deceptive, it doesn’t say much but possibly hides a lot, it appears mostly pensive but no one knows what he thinks and it may appear unharmful which I believe it largely is. But this face is potent and has a thinking brain somewhere inside

Have you seen this man’s face anywhere? Do look out

Parents can’t be tigers

2011-11-17T03:13:00.000-08:00

Earlier this year blogosphere was abuzz reviewing or mostly criticizing a new publication with all vigor and disdain. When almost everyone had their knives out condemning a treatise which eulogized the Chinese way of harsh parenting, it caught my curiosity and getting my hands on this book soon became my priority. Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother was unavailable in bookstores of Muscat and Bangalore; so when I was just about to give up hope I suddenly got lucky with a store in Gurgaon which had a copy left

Now some may be puzzled as to what a book on parenting has got to do with me, after all someone who is looking to find a bride for himself should not plan too ahead also. But then parenting is a sensitive and delicate topic which touches all of us in a very subtle way, only those born of a cloning experiment can be counted out. While reading Amy Chua’s book last night one line caught my fancy where in she says that no matter what you do your children will someday grow up only to resent you, maybe Ms Chua has a point there for she makes no bones on how she adopted an extreme and maybe cruel parenting form to groom her two daughters. Her daughters were tortured to concentrate excessively on academics, never allowed sleepovers, grilled with music lessons even on holidays, called garbage in public, made to study to be two classes ahead in math…in short get perfection no matter what it takes. Amy Chua however defends her actions on her website “My book has been controversial. Many people have misunderstood it. If I could push a magic button and choose either happiness or success for my children, I’d choose happiness in a second. But I don’t think it’s as simple as that; it can be a tough world out there, and true self-esteem has to be earned”

When this book initially came out it raised controversy, not only in US but also in India with many mothers getting insecure on whether they are doing their best for their young ones or did they do enough for the grown-up ones. Surprisingly I did not feel much emotion while reading the book, maybe I am not a parent so will never feel those pangs and also because I grew up in a very lonely way. In a way I found myself supporting the Chinese parenting way, believe me this is much better than a world where no one trusts or speaks with each other. However this does not imply a license to suffocate your children or deny them freedom so as to maintain a complete control on their lives all the time. I have been denied many freedoms while growing up, scars of which still haunt me no end and I would certainly not like any one else to go through what I did or maybe many others are still undergoing in many Indian households.

Perhaps what Amy Chua forgets in her lucidly written book is that strict parenting at times breeds hatred and resentment. In her book her younger daughter rebels and shows the light of the day to her strict mother, but what if she had bottled up those feelings and later in life simply drifted away? A prime reason for me moving out of India was to be away from the restricted environs that I had been subjected to all my life; I knew that moving anywhere within India also may not solve my issue for I seriously need to break away and even after coming to this sweltering country at times the past continues to haunt me. Self esteem and respect are basic human rights and when a child is denied them by his own kin, self-confidence can get irreparably punctured thereby denting own self worth for many years to come

Being a parent is not easy and I recognize that; no matter what you do someone will say you could have done better or worse someone may lament or even curse your well-intentioned actions. But then to be a good parent it is important to be a good human being first, its only in fables that I find sages being born to dacoits.

Meet my potential dulhans

2011-11-14T21:59:00.000-08:00

My trip to India was exhilarating and enjoyable, thankfully all went as per plan without any glitches or unwanted nuances. I was a lot apprehensive before flying as I would be with my folks after long and did not want any twitch in the already fragile relationships but thankfully apart from few ignorable smirks it all went smoothly and I am thankful for it. Travelling across cities I observed that Indian metros are changing a lot and that too very rapidly and for someone visiting motherland after more than a year, this change was all too evident; however keeping the bustling metro life aside I completed a hectic tour of Bangalore, Gurgaon and also stopped at few other smaller cities. Besides I also managed to shop, call old folks, visit Vaishno Devi and yes somewhere also stole a date with an old flame from college days (over cold beer she seemed all the more hotter). But more importantly I was on a dulhan ki khoj this time and this is where all the action lay as I interacted with a few girls this time. Was it fun? Take your guess as you read below

Girl 1
I met this girl at a marriage bureau in Bangalore, she smiled a lot and was crackling with energy in her slim frame and white salwar suit. This chick was a contrast of my reserved disposition and seemed too bubbly, chirpy and a bit pimply for my liking; yes she was all that and more as she smiled bit too much for no reason. The most interesting part of her was her father who looked like a villain from South Indian films in his white kurta pyjama and super dark complexion; whats more he even spoke like a villain when he asked me in his masala dosa accent “whaaatzz your ssaalarieee?” I really pity the guy who will have him as his father-in-law

Girl 2
This girl was the surprise pack of tour as this meeting was fixed only few days after my arrival, Mom and myself had to travel up north to meet this chick and her folks. This was a somewhat decent family though of modest means, the girl was young and working in Pune though her small town upbringing was all too evident. She had a very portly figure and was very nervous when we were left to talk alone. Had she been a bit slimmer and maybe smarter (or sexier) call here would have been different, but I am not very sure if a small town Tun Tun can be a good fit for me

Girl 3
Now this was like an old classic Doordarshan serial, we had travelled to an old South Indian town to see this girl but never knew about the awaiting surprise. The girl’s house seemed as if it had never seen Nerolac paint and appeared more of a clean cow shed than a living place with red brickstones and huge walls. This was a very traditional family and even more traditional house, it seemed as if I was visiting some ashram; also this girl’s father looked like a servant as for long I couldn’t place who that slum dweller seated on the nearby wooden chair really was. The girl on her part was too excited and could not stop talking when she was left alone to talk with me, when I told her I had studied at Hindu College she told me she had heard about this College located near a temple in Delhi! Seeing her and her house reminded me of Gandhi’s vision for India, he would have been proud of their family

Girl 4
Now this is what happens when you meet a hip metro girl after small towners. Have you ever tasted cappuccino after drinking filter coffee for long? The difference between new and old India is so amazing and was starkly evident when I met this attitude girl at a posh Bangalore hotel after having met all other low maintenance and less complicated chicks that I was completely caught off guard. This proposal was one of the best that I had received so far, coming from a well to do and close family friends who had been chasing us for more than two years. However after the meeting I am not sure who was more disappointed as I was completely taken by surprise by this girl’s approach. She asked about my job, career and future plans in minutest details and it was she who was always in command of our conversation. Coming from a very wealthy family I could easily detect her liberal upbringing and affluent lifestyle, which makes me all the more unsure if this will be the best match for me. What was more demeaning was her parting line at end of our talk “We will let you know”. Now I don’t think I was appearing for a job interview here

After meeting all these girls I am back to square one and also back to Muscat, not sure when I will get hitched. But who is in a hurry? After all marriages are made in heaven and suffered on earth

India here I come

2011-10-27T00:24:00.000-07:00

There are certain things in life which are expected to evoke and incite emotions, but when they don’t cause much scratch it puzzles more than it amazes. Tomorrow morning I fly to India on my first and only trip this year; while visiting back home should be exciting I am not very sure as to what I am feeling right now. Maybe it is because that it took a lot of effort for me to get here that I am not giving much to going back or maybe I am finally relieved being away; but whatever no one can deny that home is and will always remain home

I have an interesting menu on offer this time, after all I am now looking for my very own dulhan; tomorrow I fly to Bangalore where I will be joined by Mom along with whom I will scout around for couple of days before proceeding up north on my hunt. A week later I return to sadda Dilli; same environs I left back last year and not very sure if and when I will return. Apart from this there is other usual stuff – trip to Vaishno Devi, buying Indian authors, exploring investment options …visiting home can indeed be a stuffed bag

Being away from India, few things at times look a bit too different like for instance last year I found Delhi to be very noisy upon landing and total city to be too congested. However it is the same noise that we all are made of which I missed like anything yesterday when I had to pinch myself repeatedly to believe it was indeed Diwali for there were no loud celebrations visible in this Indian dominated city. Having got so much used to crackers, noise and smoke that make up Diwali I was badly missing the euphoria so decided to celebrate my own way and trudged off to watch RaOne premier, after a long time I could enjoy a typical Bollywood potboiler. In this city I have watched all sorts of films, its not that expensive here and also there’s not much else to do, so after going through all that mundane cinema seeing a real entertainer was good fun

On the aside going back also brings my own apprehensions to the fore; I was never too comfortable living with my folks and always wanted to be away. After coming abroad this will be my longest visit back, so don’t want any demons of past to come and haunt. There is no bigger wealth in the world than peace of mind and there is no bigger happiness than to be content in life; now that I am finally getting to taste a bit of what I desired I don’t want any of the bad days or any memories of it to come back

Looking forward to positive things, I have to wind up many things here before I fly and only have a day left, I am still listing down things to do as I type this. Its funny how we are always short of time, no matter how much we plan; those last minute runs are so much built in that they hardly surprise anymore. But hey am not complaining, all said and done its fun to go back…India here I come

Expect the unexpected

2011-10-17T03:47:00.000-07:00

My life till now has not been too exciting that I can expect moons out of it but then I do not think I am wrong if I expect some stuff to go right sometime. But then someone up above seems to be having different plans for me each time something pertinent comes around

If you have read some of the below posts, you will know how much I cursed and cried while shifting to my new place. I have not settled in here fully yet and many times wonder couldn’t I have stayed back there a bit longer? Perhaps good things in life do not come often and when they do perhaps they are not meant to last long

Staying outside India, managing finances becomes a different ball game whose ropes I am just now beginning to understand. Thumb rule of the game is that it is easier to predict catastrophe but the fluctuating exchange rate should never be chanced upon; I am still ruing upon spilt milk as the exchange rate went up unexpectedly, a bit of prudence here and I may have made a bit more

In middle of all this my personal life or the lack of it, seems to have unexpectedly beaten all expectation of bearing any fruit. The year is almost drawing to a close with neither any signs nor any suitable marital prospects around; maybe there are some games I need to master a bit more

Meanwhile if all this was not enough, comes the unexpected and disturbing news of my firm reducing headcount in head office in Dubai. Last year after arriving in this country I had thought of doing away with job hunting and switching for a while, almost since the time I have started working I have always been looking around so thought its time to relax a bit but then for me perhaps it is a crime to expect any comfort even for a while. I started updating my resume only yesterday which itself seems a big chore now, maybe in this corporate jungle one has to be always on the go

Expectations are best mood spoilers for they cause dissatisfaction setting the bar too high at times. Perhaps life will become a wee bit easier if you always expect dirt, believe me then atleast the probability of getting hurt will diminish substantially. As I write this I am having a running nose and symptoms of cold, which again is unexpected in this hot desert country. How the fuck can anyone catch a cold in a place where 39 degree is considered pleasant? But then as I said expect the unexpected

Who owns you?

2011-09-29T04:22:00.000-07:00

For the first time in my life I decided to buy a book immediately after reading its review. As evident the storyline was so compelling that I could not hold myself back and immediately rang the bookstore to reserve a copy for me. My sister’s keeper has a storyline that is not only unique but touches a sensitive chord deep down somewhere in almost everyone who has a family. Some of you may have read the long back released book (2004) or seen the film (2007), so I will not elaborate any contents here but the book triggered such a forceful thought process that I have to pen down my own reflections.

How much of rights does one have over one’s offspring? How much of obligation does one have towards one family and more specifically siblings? Even in a Western society, where dominance of parents is much lower when compared to restricted Asia, child can be forced, albeit under very special and extraordinary circumstances to be a lifelong slave donating blood and body to save a dying kin. After kid gets some senses and begins searching for own identity, it is unable to separate its existence apart from being reduced to a savior of its sibling

The brilliantly crafted storyline does raise many wicked questions which have no answer. It is no secret that parents have a bias towards the weaker child which at times is seen as ignoring the better one. However the pertinent question raised here is of control than any undue favor. Do parents have a moral right over the child that they can dictate the way child lives? True that children owe their existence to parents but are there any boundaries that define the limit after which child is free to live his or her life. Don’t get me wrong for I know parents have the best of intention for all their children and even in this book they did the best possible for all three, but to save a dying child they had to specifically conceive another one who would act as a life long donor, only that life saving kid rebelled after growing up putting all in a moral quandary

It is true that parents have created us and given us boundless love; it is also true that they love us more than any wealth or fame and would selflessly stand by us fighting against the whole world but it is also true that all human beings have their own identity which no one can deny to them. No one owns anyone, neither mind nor body; its own attitude, ability and destiny which decides who gets what.

Consider this: will you give your kidney to save a close kin? Almost all of you will. Will you give your life if it could save someone you value? Some of you will. But are any of you willing to erase all your lived life and give up all your thoughts, actions and identity for any one? Think hard before answering

To be or not to be

2011-09-21T03:47:00.000-07:00

When I was growing up as a kid there was a huge tree near our playing area which all kids wanted to climb. I never ventured to climb the tree myself and was also baffled as to why everyone wanted to be up there, staying at the ground you were not losing anything and climbing up that tree was not making you wealthy or entitled to kisses from beauty queens. But then everyone around wanted to climb, boys and girls included, as if it will give them a stamp of approval and some recognition or acceptance. Not that those who somehow successfully climbed were always happy, infact some very enthusiastic climbers met a lot of pain on the way and their agony was indeed too big to be concealed. I don’t know why but one day I too decided to climb the tree myself thinking it will complete me in some way; till today I am not sure why on that day and at that age I wanted to climb

It is the same doubt which grips me today when I have decided to get married and am frantically looking around for someone compatible. Like the climbers on that tree I have seen many before me tying the dreaded knot and the experiences of all have been very varied to say the least. One blogger who I have been reading for more than 5 years now is feeling pangs of marital agony in a pitiful way and makes no attempt to conceal her misery; another ex-colleague simply goes offline whenever I bring topic of marriage forth and then there are others who are trying to keep everyone else except themselves happy.

A couple of years back my thoughts on settling down were way different from today, which I guess has something to do with the new and changed circumstances of life. While in India I was yearning to get away and now that I am finally in another land, it is completing the next stage of life that I look forward to. But simply having a good naukri does not mean a you look for a good chhokri, one has to be ready or made up for it; simply following those climbing the tree can even lead to broken bones.

What makes me more scared of marriage is my insipid disposition; I am not sure how I come across on this space but I am very far from being a mast kalandar. For starters I don’t smile and always keep a straight face, I don’t mix easily with new people and it is only when I am comfortable that I open up, I get pissed off by complications of females and hate shopping, my daily schedule is tad too disciplined from which I rarely digress….the list goes on and when I read “My Desired Partner” on matri sites, it makes me crouch badly. All these attributes make me an easy fodder for a sharp female and as my horoscope predicts, marital bliss is something I should not count on too much

Manytimes I ponder if I lack anything, I am now doing reasonably well in life and am sort of content after a long, long time. Getting hitched will bring its own basket of complications but the million dollar question is if jumping in marital fire worth it to risk everything?

Birthdays then and now

2011-09-13T02:14:00.000-07:00

20th birthday

•Excitement builds up days in advance with much planning on how to blast the day
•On the day reach College early after attending morning calls from stinky relatives; thankfully not everyone had mobile those days so once out could easily escape
•Receive trendy gifts from trendy friends; Archies gallery was a famous stop those days to buy candy floss stuff, not sure if it still exists in Delhi
•Feels nice when close friends wish; feels nicer when someone wishes with a kiss
•Head out for day celebrations to nearby joints. Nirula’s used to be my favorite over McD and other vilayati invaders, loved the taste of chicken there
•How can I forget loads of daaru in hostel before returning home; if not anything atleast daaru made girls sneak into boys hostel
•In evening have a family affair with cutting of cake and evening dinner

30th birthday

•Till few days before I do not even remember my day is approaching as I have to shift to a new house which forces me to prepone my shifting by a day
•On the D day or rather B day, I wake up by the smell of dirt all around in my new flat as unpacking is yet to be completed. Sometime later I start receiving calls from India
•Later in the day I am confused when someone congratulates me, new house has taken much of my thought to think of anything else
•Since I have been forced to do something special, I head to a nearby quiet, elegant place for lunch with office folks. During lunch a bit of stoic silence follows since everyone is engrossed in their office politics thoughts
•Some people wishing ask me how old I have turned and when they hear 30 some reply “its high time”. Now birthdays are days to get high but perhaps my single status is a real bother for others
•I also receive calls from India and when they learn I am 30, next question is when coming back to India and settling down. I guess being 30 and single is punishable under Indian penal code
•Again few drinks in evening but without thrill; of course hiding and drinking in hostel gives a different high
•Before switching off for the day my thoughts again wander - no not planning for future but on how to set my new place…

Europe travel diary (with details)

2011-09-07T23:23:00.000-07:00

Day 1
I land up in Brussels Airport around afternoon all tired after long flight and as instructed take the bus below Arrivals which drops me at the hotel door. As I am being driven around I take a long and hard look at Brussels, which appears like a chocolate factory with all centuries old architecture on display. I enter my hotel and find it to be a Paharganj type place with narrow stairs and creepy surroundings. In the evening I step out and venture in wrong direction trying to explore the city and end up wondering where in the world have I come! God I want to return soon

Day 2
I go to the nearby square to catch the city tour bus and am on way to see Brussels. The city is not bad at all but you must carry an umbrella with you and have loads of patience to wait for your bus otherwise the Grand Palace and city square is a delight. By late afternoon I am finished with city touring when I spot the City Parade. Wow what fun it is with those fancily dressed babes, all people bless God for creating white flesh. In the evening I have couple of beers after which I head to a nearby city strip bar but near the entrance I spot a rogue looking creature eying me badly. When we are alone he unzips and exposes himself seeing which I run like hell. No more bars on this trip

Day 3
I wake up completely tired with legs aching from previous day. I have to take a long train journey to Luxembourg but thankfully tickets are not pre-booked so I can schedule my day the way I like. Luxemburg is a tiny country with nothing much to offer and would have been better skipped although it is an ideal camping destination but then I didn’t come here for camping. While returning I make friends with a Pakistani seated on the opposite train seat, only time I speak at length with someone

Day 4
Thankfully legs are not paining much as I have to be in time for train to Paris. Missing a train here is not option for it leaves you stranded with nowhere to go so reluctantly I walk to Brussels Midi station. Train arrives on time in Paris and once I board the city bus Paris makes my head go round and round. I have never seen anything so regal and grand ever in my life nor do I think many cities can match Paris for its grandeur. I am yet to visit NYC but yes I have seen Paris in this life

Day 5
By now I am a lot tired and am wondering why I did not think of a shorter trip before. I have had a bad night so am half asleep when I check out of Brussels for Cologne. Train arrives on time in Cologne but city has nothing new to offer, I am also grossly tired and only take a small city tour which proves listless. Germany, unlike France and Italy, is not a major tourist destination so Germans too are colder and less acceptable to browns. Only thing I liked in Cologne was my lovely hotel located near the cathedral which turned to a bustling hip meeting joint after dark

Day 6
I arrive in Amsterdam before noon and the city on first impression appears shady; every 5 minutes I keep checking if my Passport and camera are intact. I check into my hotel which is a bit more than a military barrack after which I head out on the city hop on-hop off bus. The city has nothing much to offer except paintings of Van Gogh, Rembrandt, hiding place of a Jew teen and the Royal Palace. During evening I head out to Red Light district and this is where action is. Girls in bikinis pose invitingly in dimly lit cubicles behind which are small rooms with narrow beds. Negotiation and service is so open that many females and families also walk around casually. I spot a young Indian couple also exploring around; though not sure what they wanted. I ask a chick if she will reduce her rates for reduced action but she blasts me off

Day 7
I leave Amsterdam and arrive in Brugge by late afternoon. It’s a long journey with train switching at Antwerp but must say Brugge is pretty. I again get a good hotel by the train station and after lunch march off to the city. There is nothing much to see if you are looking for something specific but Brugge is pretty as pretty can be. Narrow canals, open chocolate factories, centuries old buildings, traditional European architecture, horse drawn carts still in use – Brugge appears to be straight out of a Hansel and Gratel book. I go around a bit and then settle with some wine and food at the city square; this city is safe so one can stay outside after dark

Day 8
Its my last day and I am glad to be heading back. I check out of hotel early and after buying beer to sustain me on train I reach Brussels Airport to be early for my delayed flight back to Muscat. One journey ends many more yet to come

Europe travelogue

2011-09-04T08:34:00.000-07:00

I returned from my much awaited Europe trip yesterday and must say it was all what I thought it to be. Europe cannot be described in words much because not many words can express the beauty of the place or the vibrancy of those open cities but must say all the countries and cities I travelled to had a lot to offer

For starters a visit to Paris in your lifetime is a must. I have been to few international places and am still outside India but Paris beats anything that you have seen by long. At first glance city looks like an antique piece and not the modern city I expected it to be, but once you start going round the places the city will simply take your breath away. I landed in the complex of Louvre museum and could not keep my mouth closed after seeing the mind-bogglingly beautiful complex (and mind you I did not even enter the museum because of the long queue). Later on Eiffel Tower, Sienne river, French military academy and Napoleon’s Tomb followed but bhaiyon behenon Paris is something uniquely different, and I say this after visiting four other countries on the way.

Other places I visited were also interesting but very similar to each other. Almost all places in Europe offer the same menu – World War memorials and architecture, few museums, zoos, strip bars, cathedrals, churches and a happening city square where you can relax after a hard day of sight-seeing with a beer or wine and ogle at all the whites enjoying around or some even making out. Brussels is a good European city but after a couple of days has nothing much to offer; Luxembourg is tiny and small; Germany and Germans are the coldest people possible; Flanders upwards in Belgium is a scenic delight; I was expecting a lot from Amsterdam but it is actually a Bangkok in disguise with only flesh on offer

This trip has blown a big hole in my pocket and manytimes even while going round the city tours I often wondered if this really is worth all that I am doling out. I was all alone for the journey without company so its not that as if I had a big blast with friends or girl friends but I have my reasons for this extravagance. I am still a bachelor and for the first time in life have some pocket change so wanted to make the most of it. As far as being alone, Europe is safe and organized and to be honest I never had a chance to feel alone since almost everyday I was in a new country. Perhaps the only time I could feel pangs of loneliness was during those long train journeys when I could only stare out of the windows as goras don’t mix-up much with browns

Maybe a shorter tour would have been better and a bit economical but then again you live life just once so no regrets. While in India I never even got to see Taj Mahal properly and now I am here having completed a good Eurotrip

Europe is definitely an ideal holiday spot worth every penny spent. For anyone wanting to see Europe on a budget, camping in Brussels is a good idea for the city is cheaper and safer compared to other flashy cities and importantly from there one can take day trips to Paris and Amsterdam which will give a good flair of Europe. Else watch DDLJ again and wish you too had a Raj or Simran for company!

Off to Europe

2011-08-23T06:37:00.000-07:00

How excited can you get when something you have been planning for long finally comes near? This weekend I fly off to Europe on a much planned vacation and as I type these words, I can already feel the excitement pumping up. Since May I have been busy on finding the right spot to vacation and the numerous changes in plan have made me a Europe expert of sorts; initial plan was Greece but then it was ticked off, now it is west Europe and somewhere in between Britain was also on map until London erupted. There were hurdles innumerous too; never easy to plan with friends in another country as a result my buddy from Doha will not be joining and I will have to do it alone now

I am spending a bomb on this trip and this morning I was awake thinking if it is worth it to dole out so much which will leave nothing much apart from Facebook snaps. It is only last year after moving out of India that I have some dough with me and spending so much so soon may not be exactly prudent but then my excitement past few months was way too high to limit myself anywhere. Perhaps I should have reduced my days when I knew I would be alone but then Europe is too inviting to limit one’s plans with almost all places nearby and connected. So I land up in Brussels and from there take trips to Luxemburg and Paris before moving to Cologne and then Amsterdam (God save me from whores here, I will be alone at night) before returning back to catch return flight via Flanders in northern Belgium. Almost everyday of next week I will be in a new country (5 countries in 6 days) and will be spending a lot of time on trains or maybe even waiting for it

Since I will be alone I have been warned to be cautious especially in big, bad cities and also advised to turn back after dark which will sadly make me miss a bit of much desired bachelor fun but then no point in taking unnecessary risks. Also since I will be travelling a lot, either on foot or on rails I will have to do away with my lovely laziness for a while and be punctual for no one helps in angrez land if you miss your scheduled train and end up with no place to hide

So much for now doston, will surely update here first after return

Things I am looking forward to

2011-08-07T05:59:00.000-07:00

There are things we look forward to in life and keep ardently praying for them to materialize but as it happens often in life, when one niggling thing belatedly settles down the other shortly raises its ugly head making the bucket list change constantly. However at present I do have some stuff on my plate keeping me on the edge

•Moving to new place: if you have read the below post you will know that shifting abode now is my least favorite activity. I had just begun to settle into this place when I have to again find a new one. I have looked a couple of places around and am also applying for a rent advance from my firm, but somewhere deep down I keep wondering: couldn’t I have stayed here for some time more?

•Europe trip: I had initially booked tickets for Greece but had to alter my plans going by the disturbances there. Now Brussels, Amsterdam and maybe some other cities stand on agenda but sad part is I may have to do this trip alone as my buddy was denied a Visa

•Driving license: getting a driving license in this country is akin to getting a PhD. I have never been a good driver but the miserable performance I have given in my two tests so far, it seems ages before I will get my ticket to drive. Getting a license is also an expensive process here and I am already bleeding with the high costs

•Planning India visit: for most, planning annual visit to India includes stuff like gifts for family, meeting friends, visit to local shrine etc. For me it includes all this and more as I will also be travelling down South on my long bridehunt. I don’t know why in this era also caste continues to play a vital role in Indian arranged marriages, I guess India actually lives in five centuries – there are those who raise the roof in male strip parties in Mehrauli and then there are also those who are still ruled by khap panchayats not so far away

So some of you guys think this is not enough? If so tell me I am ready to trade places here!

Moving out sucks

2011-07-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

On this New Year’s eve I moved in to a new apartment; first time I had seen this place I was over the moon because the well-furnished, carpeted and spacious place was coming at steal of a price and I knew that I wanted to live there forever. My joy was all the more because I had got robbed at the previous place like anything, I was charged a high rent as the crooked flat guy was aware that I was new to this country which made me an easy prey. He was also not willing to return my deposit later and it took intervention of local authorities and much swearing by him to part with a fraction of my deposit. My new flat mate although much elder in age (most people in this city are oldies for that), is a real angel compared to him - he prepares breakfast for me on weekends, shares all his stuff including washing machine and we also hang out sometimes. And if someone is living with me he will soon know my idea of good time has to include booze, so yes he is company. Living with him is real bliss, I only have to ignore his extra-marital affair (his sexy daughters also have stud boyfriends in Delhi so guess it sort of runs in the family)

Last evening after dinner he dropped a bombshell when he told me that he is moving out as flat owner is increasing rent and he plans to shift to another cheaper locality nearer to his workplace. Now he had been hinting for a long time that he may be vacating for varied reasons but somewhere deep down I was praying for him to continue as I knew getting such a luxurious place in the main district at this rent again was almost impossible. His moving out has caught me by surprise and bad one at that for it was after a lot of searching and newspaper ads that I had found this hidden heaven; the idea of going through the grind again in less than eight months does not excite me one bit

Since last night I have been toying with idea of renting a complete apartment myself and then sub-letting a part of it to share the rent which seems a better proposition rather than me jumping into someone’s abode. In my previous place I was all the time eagerly looking to move out while in my present place I never wanted to quit, but I guess fate always has other plans. My own plan of settling down in life is taking a lot of time as the bride hunt is yet to yield any fruits (unsure if it will be sweet or sour), so as of now I will have to plan living in a bachelor shanty only. Renting a complete apartment also makes sense as I do not have any plans of moving out of this city anytime soon, so taking up a place and then gradually setting it up seems logical

Living a bachelor life alone in a distant city is surely exciting and has its many gains but then one also has to fend for oneself all alone. However this freedom is something I have craved for long so I cannot complain but hey I have to fix a good, cheap and comfortable place for me first…anyone around listening?

That Push

2011-07-13T05:47:00.000-07:00

Today morning while aimlessly surfing I stumbled upon a new blog of a young married woman who is getting attracted to another man. Her husband is a straight scrupulous bloke who is everything good that good can be but I guess is not much of fun while the other man is a bit of adventurer and has an attractive streak in him, which has not diminished even after fathering two kids. She is in a dilemma whether to take her illicit affair to another level now, obviously she is lusting for the new man which she can’t hide but it is the moral scruples which is holding her back. I make-out that its not as if her husband is less affectionate, but any thoughts of her receiving any adulation at home makes her want to sleep with new man even more

Perhaps after sometime she will sleep with her new man, perhaps she will enjoy the thrill of doing it and may make a habit of it, perhaps the new man will give her all she wants except commitment and not perhaps but sure she will be left with a broken heart and more misery at end of it. I am also sure that the woman in question is aware of all these consequences and knows the road she is contemplating to travel upon will not have a pleasant end but at same time she is irresistibly unable to hold herself back, even after fully knowing that her chosen path is badly doomed. Her story is not an isolated case for I know of so many young females who fall for men being fully aware that promised Eden is never going to materialize and someday soon thorns are going to prick and prick deep; but for their own weaknesses cannot control themselves and yearn to join a long list of dumped and wounded mistresses. I know it is the bad boys who attract more and why should they not, no one wants to sleep with goody two shoes who is totally lacking in passion; after all everyone knows what thrill making out with a tall dark bad boy in a hidden dingy shack can give.

Coming back to the should-I-sleep woman, perhaps all she needs is a push to take the bold step; a nudge from anywhere telling her what she is thinking is not a crime but only natural and she will willingly jump to bed, after all she is half obsessed and half desirous of the bad man. I am ranting off for her because some years back I too was in a dilemma, given in to lust and somewhere deep down wanting to hit the bed but held back by moral pangs until some bloggers around here encouraged me to go ahead. We all need a gentle push, a nudge or a nod approving and recognizing innate dark desires; asking us to take the plunge in deep waters and not muse too much at the shores; believe me it takes only one voice of support for unzipping to start, consequences be damned

Later today I will comment on her blog asking her to chose a good hotel

Better to be away

2011-07-07T07:12:00.000-07:00

Few days back I received disturbing news of demise of an acquaintance from India. At first I was a bit down but got over soon however what made me think hard was the strange behavior of her brother, a childhood chum of mine. After their father’s suicide, for no apparent known reason till now, my friend had abandoned his family and relocated to a distant city refusing to return ever. All pleas by his grieved family to come back fell on deaf ears with him even refusing to even recognize his folks, a pledge he maintained to an extent that he bizarrely skipped the last rites of his deceased sister. Perhaps he may have discovered some dark family secrets after his father’s suicide which may have prompted his self-imposed exile but we will never know

Another example which rushes to my mind is of a cousin living in Delhi who too left his folks and moved out to Dwarka following a tiff at his place. He also has been pleaded frequently to return but he too remains adamant never to come back and I am somewhat convinced that he too will never walk back

Now its no secret that I too am not excessively fond of my people back home and was long craving to leave dusty shores of dear motherland but thankfully I had the option of coming out for career reasons. Being a working professional comes with a perk of exploring options in different parts of the world and even exploring an alternate career which may at times bring you to an alternate city. Coming back to the new fashion of abandoning home, I could not help but think how many of those languishing in dysfunctional families back home would actually be yearning to run away. The above two examples are extreme for both of them perhaps had no options with neither having a good career to talk about, which limited their options of moving out with grace or valid reason. In a way I am grateful that I moved out, albeit a bit late, but without any unnecessary acrimony or rancor which could have spoiled the already delicate relations irreparably

However I must confess that past some time has been a bit different for me; although I still feel the painful pangs of sour relations but I guess distance has smoothened and balmed things in a way. The earlier abhorrence and resentment is still there, and may continue for some time, but it doesn’t come with that earlier gargantuan force now. What may have contributed to this good change, apart from the obvious distance, is that now I am looking forward to some good things in life like future spouse, holiday in Europe etc and also have a somewhat better career here. I guess time and distance do heal things somewhat, which may thankfully be the case with me too; but I guess for harmony and acceptance to first set-in, it is always better to be away

A bit of pondering, torrid heat and planned holiday

2011-06-21T02:30:00.000-07:00

There are times in life when mundane routine sets in and things which seemed exciting previously now become kind of habitual, its like if you party every weekend then the excitement withers off a bit for how much of a joy and high can the same wildness give. Perhaps that’s why I see so many around indulging with opposite gender to keep up the excitement pump though some also suffer hard falls and gut wrenching heartbreak, maybe my regular blogpals will understand this more. In a way its good to take a break and lead a dreary existence for a while, getting habituated to too much fun and adventure makes one inadaptable and prone to misery; my close buddy is leaving this country soon kicking away a brilliant career just because he misses Bandra and is unable to find a glamorous lifestyle here. A good dating life and frequent one night stands can give unparalleled ecstasy but can also lead to doom sooner than anticipated, its like a cracker which bursts bright but what eventually remains is a black burnt hole. Quest for excitement may bring new things but not all of which maybe exactly undamaging

Speaking of new things heat in this city comes with a new force every year around, its hard to imagine any place hotter than this. Both my balls are nearly burnt by the sweaty perspiration; perhaps the only way to remain cool is to sit inside an air conditioner rather than near it. Last night I was so drenched in sweat that even bedsheets had got a bit wet, no its got nothing to do with me touching myself. Even walking upto the car park can induce a burning sensation all across limbs and ribs; I am not sure if survival is possible if it gets even a bit hotter than this, my face has already turned a bit dark and may soon resemble the complexion of my lovely balls if the heat persists

Meanwhile I have booked my tickets for Greece in August end; it took a lot of thought and cost research to decide amongst the European destination choices fitting in my kitty but as of now it’s the Greek islands and beaches which await me, the only possible hitch being the economic turmoil in that country which may cause a last minute change of plan. However I can’t keep myself from surfing every now and then about the exciting white beaches and the accompanying abundant skin display; maybe that’s what is the required necessary excitement I was talking about!

Varieties: chose your bride

2011-05-26T00:38:00.000-07:00

With some of my blogpals now contemplating arranged marriage, it may be helpful if I show the way around a path I have been attempting to traverse for some time now. Finding a right match for yourself is never easy, saying No is even tougher and being confident about your choice is the toughest. Scouting around though is not hard in this internet age, you can always use this very machine you are reading this from; logging on to matri-sites does give a lot of interesting and hitherto unknown options some of which can leave one baffled and puzzled. However it should be kept in mind that writing about one self to attract right life partner is tricky and many present their garden with different shades of roses and thorns

Juhi Chawla types
“I am a simple loving caring and giving girl and these are the qualities I look forward in my life partner also. He should be honest sincere and understanding, in short someone who can keep me happy and treats my parents the way he treats his.”
Don’t know why but this reminds me of Juhi and her innocent charm

Khadoos baap types
“Our daughter is right blend of tradition and modernity. She is homely, respectful and hardworking; does not have any show-offs and is emotionally content. Convent educated with a B Sc in Nutrition and diploma in hygiene, now working in a big company. Boy should be decent without any bad habits”
If above was Juhi then his must be her father from Hum Hain Raahi Pyaar kein…

Fun types
“Can dance at night, recite Shantaram from page 1 and enjoy going out. I am a very fun loving person who can give anyone good company. My hobbies include dancing, painting, singing…….My family and friends mean the world and I can’t live without them nor can they be happy without me. I am looking for someone who can be a part of me and expect all he wants in return.”
You seen Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na….Genelia D’Souza anyone?

Air India types
“Namaste! I am Khushbu presently working as a customer care executive in a reputed firm in Noida. I have completed MCA from Noida and currently pursuing MBA from Pune. My friends describe me as fun and confident”
Reading this reminds me of Air India welcome “Namashkar Air India ke vimman main aap ka swagat hain. Kuchh hi der main hamara vimaan Dilli ke liye rawana hoga, aasha hain ki aapki yatra mangal may ho. Dhanywaad”

Practical types
“Looking for someone who can understand me and be a support in all my ups and downs. If you feel you can support and respect a person and not feel jealous of anyone’s success then contact me. Those who want just a doormat as wife stay away”
Reading this you can imagine her in bespectacled frame and no-nonsense look

In middle of all varieties I am as confused as a kid when asked to chose between kebabs, dosa or omelets – they are all so different and can’t be sure if it will be as per your taste or liking.

Lastly I am not sure if arranged marriages are only for convenience, may be a bit like Abhishek- Aishwarya who look so loveless and look miles apart as if strangely put together

Content

2011-05-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

You know you are leading a content life when

•You can afford to get up late everyday because you don’t have to drive to office which is at a stone’s throw from your door

•In office you have a corner seat where you can surf with no one watching the hidden monitor

•You enjoy your work and are grateful to be working here

•If you don’t have much work in office you can do what you like which these days includes planning a holiday in Europe

•Slowly your thoughts ponder to planning for a bright future rather than grimace about morbid past

•You get to booze with friends a lot and if that’s not happening visit cabaret bars on weekends

•You have been watching so many movies off late that hardly a weekend goes without hitting nearby cinema hall

•Your old buddy tells you that you look much relaxed in latest snaps than the grave expression you always carried in India

•You have not planned your next trip to India because you like this city and what it has offered you

•You look at your bank balance and are thankful to atlast have risen above earlier penury

•You are so relaxed these days that can’t think of a topic to blog!

Who knows thou?

2011-05-05T07:07:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons bloggers remain anonymous is because it allows a greater freedom of expression; there is no fear of being judged or being caught with your pants down. Anonymous blogging does allow one to let go and not hold back, infact it leads to self-discovery and individual identity in ways more complex than simple. It is not as if anonymous bloggers get away with murder or remain beyond law simply because they are unrecognizable, it just gives them a veil which removes fear of being judged to some extent; I add emphasis to some here because I know one blogger who is unwilling to be too candid even in comments section lest she be judged although she is anonymous!

There is a widespread misgiving that anonymous blogging allows one to do or rather write mischievous stuff which may not have been possible under real name; I agree to this to some extent but being anonymous also allows an unhindered expression of hidden self thereby resulting in a free flow of words and emotions; can anyone blog about his loneliness, desires, broken relationships etc under real name? Some people do and I commend their bravery but imagine meeting a sweet smiling face with no apparent traces of corruption visible, but a quick search on Google will soon spill the hidden secrets behind the camouflaged smile; nobody wants to be there for whatever it may be worth

However remaining anonymous does not deprive one of any blogging joys that real name bloggers may enjoy, infact every blogger has an own support group who understands the real person, no matter if real name is not known. Blogging does give a shoulder to cry, a place to rest and solace to the despised; I for one can vouch with both my hands up that my blog is my best friend for I share secrets, rejoice and cry with it like I do nowhere else even if it doesn’t know my odd sounding name

A major criminal forcing some bloggers to hide their real identity is Google baba. I used to write a blog way back in 2004 under my real name but the blog died prematurely as unknown people soon started knowing less known stuff about me; infact I gave up expressing on WWW altogether since dirty curiosity had now become everyone’s favorite pastime. I recall at about same time that I was attempting to blog Indiatimes ran a contest wherein readers had to write about their first sexual experience and like a fool I wrote in from my real name e-mail ID. Soon I started receiving gay proposals and requests for gay encounters, some were even willing to pay! Years later that write-up still showed on my real name Google search, a major cause for my remaining edgy in all job interviews

Lastly remaining anonymous is not a license to sin, it is only a convenient mode to express without guilt. Blogging is about being free and unleashing the hidden character uninhibitedly, it is very less to do with real name; after all whats in a name?

Mood swings

2011-04-24T23:42:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if there is a male version of PMS or if any hormonal changes take place with change of season but I have been climbing up and down mood elevator once too often for past some days

*Holiday in Swiss Alps – planning a holiday in Switzerland is a guaranteed mood elevator; no matter if you can travel or not only the planning of what you will do in Zurich or Interlaken is enough to give you a spring. Only thing do not go too much into the cost aspect or try discovering hidden costs in fancy tours, which can be a real spoiler. Just sit back and plan, you will be surprised to find yourself in orbit for sometime

*Good appraisal brought down – now we all crave appreciation at work and I was delighted to find good words about me in my appraisal form. Being my first year in this job I was delighted to be recognized; however superbosses in Head Office had other plans and brought down my rating in name of moderation. Now that royally sucks

*Old college pal tying the knot and reminiscing old days – always good to exchange mails with old chums especially if they have been with you through the most exciting days. I was happy for my friend tying the knot and sending me pics; only wish those carefree days could last a little longer

*Morbid thoughts on marriage – deciding to getting married is like buying an expensive lottery ticket, you see only a handful winning and smiling while majority lose out, only extent of loss and despair vary though all had bought lottery tickets with some dreams and plans. Off late I have really been thinking is marriage so essential?

*Best buddy may not come – I had been planning which cabaret bars to visit and which booze to buy when my close buddy comes calling but now it seems Muscat may not be in his tour diary. There was so much to talk, holidays to plan but that will have to wait for sometime

*Landlord leaving – lastly you come home after a hard moody day at office and last thing you need is a house vacate notice! My landlord has made up his mind to return to India and soon I may be on the road; I had moved in only recently and was on the moon to get such a well furnished comfortable place dirt cheap but I guess someone up there is keeping a watch on my happiness and never allows it to go too high, pulling the rug at most inopportune moments

Muscat I love you

2011-04-17T04:43:00.000-07:00

There is an old practice of introducing a new chicken to a farm when all other chickens are asleep. When other chickens wake up they mistake the new chicken to be one of their flock and treat the new entrant as if it had been a part of them for long, seeing the bonhomie the new chicken also forgets that he is new here; my initiation into Muscat, exactly one year back, was also something very similar

It was with a mix of emotions on this day last year that I took a flight out of India and stepped into this new country unsure of what awaits me; I was not at all confident if I would be able to survive here let alone thrive and armed only with courage and fortitude I had no choice but to make a success of my stay here battling all odds.

I vividly remember the first few days of my new life discovering Muscat and its people; it all seemed so familiar that I now think I always belonged here. Looking back I guess within a fortnight of landing I was all at home and knew living here would never be tough, infact it has turned out to be much more comfortable than imagined. As the days passed by I surprisingly discovered more about myself than the new place. First I can live alone or rather live better when alone; second I seek and enjoy company of like minded folks but doesn’t mean I can’t survive with others; and lastly the basics of myself will remain same irrespective of where I stay and I mean this in a positive way

It is amazing the kind of relief a long desired dawn can bring, more so if it happens after an agonizingly long wait. Now it seems the long wait for Visa was worth it; I have found my feet here and am grateful to be away from all the ills that had dogged my life before I came here. However when I say that I am enjoying myself here it doesn’t mean I have painted the town red, this city is a bit lifeless still I am thankful to be here for many characteristics of Muscat match with my personality – well organized with all elements present in balance, not too loud, free and liberal lifestyle, absolutely unchaotic though slightly sleepy and an under running underbelly with all dark deeds happening in darkness keeping many unaware.

Oh in the middle of all this I should not forget that I also got a bit of romance and flirting, it was so much fun when it was going strong; sadly this has gone on a bit of back burner off late with the chick getting a new job but there is always hope

As I conclude first year of my new life, I sincerely wish that it stays with me for long; it has taken a good time to arrive and it is only fair that it should not leave or disappear in a hurry. I look forward to seeing more raunchy dances in cabaret bars, more boozing with pals, a holiday in Europe, recognition in my job and maybe a new chick who is a bit more uninhibited…but more importantly I now look forward to life with hope, enthusiasm and anticipation

Its love that matters

2011-04-07T05:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I woke up in a foul and grumpy mood, which is not too unusual for someone trying to wipe out scars of a suppressive past and afraid to face the predicted acrimonious future. While getting ready for office and bathing under the shower dark thoughts of morbid past kept cropping up and my perpetual insecurity of having a future as joyless as some days in past kept raising its ugly head time and again. Thankfully when I moved into office I had a lot of work in store and being an HR guy many employee issues had to be sorted; while I was banging my head with some irate employees deep down I was also thankful that at least I have some respite from dealing with my own demons, work pressure is peanuts if you have dealt with depression ever, maybe not depression per se but that aloofness arising from uneasy relations.

By afternoon I was again about to slip into that dreaded sad and melancholic state, when I received a reply to my earlier e-mail from an old buddy. Now this guy was my colleague and langotiya yaar from previous job, who is now relocating to a nearby place in this part of the world from Bangalore. Seeing his mail made me jump with joy and after more exchange of mails, we started preparing our holiday plans; doesn’t matter if the holidays are still six months away. The first plan was for a suggested vacation in Seattle where we have another buddy; I called up US embassy here in Muscat but the long drawn Visa process and huge costs punctured my mood, now why on earth does this country have to have such Visa procedures even for a short visit! Next on line was London, but this guy has been there couple of times before so not sure if he would be game. I checked few other destinations in Europe, all too glamorous and expensive but c’mon this is going to be a real vacation, and for someone who has never been to West, a bit of cost should be okay. We ultimately decided that if nothing works out we will make a dash to Istanbul, cheap and nearby; so yours truly may (a big may that is) fly out in August

What was remarkable for me was that after back and forth exchange of these mails and the exciting travel plans being drawn up, my despair of morning had totally evaporated. After those two hours of frantic mail exchange post lunch and my promise to my buddy to show him cabaret bars around and our plans to raid some exotic international locale, I was so cheerful and excited that I myself was surprised. What had changed so soon was perhaps abhorrence and resentment giving way to fondness and liking; I am fond of my friend hence elated at the prospect of an exciting bachelor vacation, I despise some left behind folks so have been avoiding my visit to India though its due now

In life nothing matters as much as love; I love my buddy hence dance at his impending visit and the good times we are bound to share, I do not love some other folks so much whom I end up cursing. Its love that matters, rest all is worthless

10 things to learn from Dhoni

2011-04-03T00:57:00.000-07:00

1.Inspire self- belief – this win would not have been possible had the leader not inspired; all world champion teams have been led by inspirational captains like Kapil, Imran, Border and Waugh

2.Take bold decisions and back them – leadership is all about taking decisions and backing them. Dropping Ashwin and bringing back Nehra in a high pressure game was indeed bold but it paid off

3.Mask your emotions – I have never seen Dhoni go hyper on field or vent out emotions; even after lifting the Cup his face was calm. This counts a lot in tense moments with billion eyes watching you

4.If you show confidence in your folks, chances are they will deliver – some years back Sehwag was dropped for a final in Australia and instead Praveen Kumar was picked. Praveen responded by picking four wickets

5.Admit mistakes – not many captains would have admitted giving last over to Nehra was a bad call but this guy did

6.Never mix personal and professional life – Dhoni could have had flings with actresses or been a party boy like Jadeja or Yuvraj, but he remains a private person. I really admire his marriage, the way no known had a clue about the wedding or the chosen girl

7.Keep your feet on the ground - I never thought that this gawky wicketkeeper with long hair chosen for Bangladesh tour in 2005 would one day be such a big star. But this new age Kapil Dev has never forgotten his small town roots

8.Body language makes lot of difference – right from the time he promoted himself up the order and came out to bat in finals, his body language meant business. Remember Viv Richards and his famous swagger? Many opposing teams lose on field when they see so much confidence

9.Be aware that team is made-up of different characters of which no two are similar – Dhoni has never tried to reign in Sreesanth or Yuvraj, he knows they are different characters and need some antics to perform

10.Lastly dream big and believe in them, one day they will come true – Dhoni is about a month younger to me and like him I too dreamt of India winning the World Cup one day. I am sure like me, Dhoni too would have stood in front of bathroom mirror while growing up and imagined speaking from Lord’s balcony or lifting Sachin on shoulders for a victory lap. Only difference between me and Dhoni is that my dreams broke with the mirror

Last night I had a dream

2011-03-22T23:03:00.001-07:00

Last night I had a dream. I was alone seated in dark when Fear passed by; I jumped upon seeing Fear upon which Fear laughed and said “I thrive in darkness, you keep light away and still jump upon seeing me..hahaha” I then looked around and found Loneliness and Anxiety staring at me; I wanted them to go away but they would simply not move; I tried to shoo them away, warned them to leave and spoke loudly but they would not budge. Loneliness looked at me and said “Why do you want me to leave, I am your constant companion; you look back at your life and I have always been with you. Now that your life is seeing a new dawn does not mean I will leave all of a sudden. I will keep coming back, no matter if you like it or not.” Anxiety also looked at me and said “I have been visiting you for some time and I will keep appearing in your life now and then; but hey don’t think you can do away with me. After all I have been invited by a distant cousin of mine Self Doubt; he gives me a buzz and I come running here whenever he wins over his bitter rival Confidence”

It was dark all around but I started running as fast as I could; away from Fear, Loneliness and Anxiety. After some hard running I stumbled and fell down with a big bang when I heard laughter; it was Pain shining in glory. I looked quizzically at Pain and he retorted “Don’t look surprised my friend, I am an inevitable part of everyone’s life. Those who accept me live better, but those who keep running like you always fall on their face, the way you have done. My friend Fear would have met you and running scared from him always brings people like you to me; Fear is my best friend for he helps bring pigs like you fall in front of me” I tried to get up and run away but could still hear Pain say “run as fast as you can but I am inevitable”

I continued running till I found some familiar surroundings; I wanted to relax here but instead started feeling restless, I looked around and spotted Despair grinning at some distance “hey where have you been all these days, have been missing you for sometime now. I gave you good company but now I miss you”. I was aghast and replied “I never miss you, in fact I am happy to get rid of you, now get lost” I turned around and saw Past staring at my face but unlike Despair he was not smiling. Breaking his frown Past blasted “where do you think you are running? I will always come back to haunt you whenever you try to run. I and Despair used to be your constant companions and at times Pain and Anxiety too joined in but now you want to run! Let me see where you go for you can never rewrite me”

Ignoring Past I ran again but no matter how fast I ran I could always see Past somewhere behind. Still I ran and ran till I came to a spot where I felt somewhat relaxed; a passerby offered me some water after which Past looked blurred, I was extremely pleased and expressed my gratitude to the strange looking passerby who introduced himself as Relief; I must admit I have never met a better person, I am sure anyone will be happy to meet Relief

I continued running and upon going some further distance I saw Anxiety again waiting for me, I turned around and suddenly saw Hope; with Hope nearby Anxiety was nowhere to be seen. Hope put his hands on my shoulder and gently said “my buddy Relief told me to find you here. Don’t worry unnecessarily about Anxiety; he never comes around when I am here. But remember you need to have faith in me else that rotten scoundrel Anxiety will keep coming back. I know you yearned for me even when Past was grilling you, but you need not worry as long as I am around. I am sure you know that well by now” I again looked at Anxiety who looked blurred with Hope around; I clung on to Hope and saw Anxiety disappear.

Is it really worth it?

2011-03-08T23:44:00.000-08:00

As someone who is contemplating matrimony self doubts keep creeping in now and then and when combined with external factors manifest themselves in such big forms that I shudder at what I am getting into. Few days back Mom called up informing what some stupid astrologers had to say of my horoscope, if astrology is to be believed I am nearly committing suicide because my wife will be dominating, cruel and spiteful; now I have been advised on the acrimonious marriage predicted in my horoscope since time immemorial which makes me wonder is marriage worth it?

Idiotic astrology aside I am aware marriage is and never will be easy, more so for me. At times I wonder whats wrong with my single life; I never feel having missed out on anything and am kinda saved from all the complications that tangled relationships bring. But sub-consciously I am also aware that if and when I do settle down, leading a harmonious existence will be tougher than finding Yeti; read below if you want to know why

*I am too soft and non-assertive as a person and till now have only been dominated. I have had it in life if I end up with someone who is tez and chalu chant
*I don’t know how I come across on this blog but I am kind of cold, reserved and distant. Successful marriages demand partners who are loving, caring and affectionate; virtues which are somewhat unknown to me
*I get ticked off by girly things and tantrums; infact I can’t stand nakhras and hate shopping
*I am too much seedha and anyone can take me for a ride; moreso the teda fairer sex who are known to have good doses of greed and jealousy
*I like my solitude and many times don’t feel like coming out. Also I don’t mix easily and tend to become choosy in selecting company
*I kind of lack care and sensitivity and become too curt when ticked off. I know this is explosive & inflammable stuff in any relationship
*I am a bit melancholic and lead a dreary existence, a far cry from the fun and excitement which relationships demand
*Now this is something I have never said before but I avoid responsibility, perhaps why most stuff in my life has got delayed
*Its no secret that I have uneasy relations with my people, an easy picking for anyone wanting to make mincemeat of me and rule the roost
*I know that I sometimes write funny stuff but in general I have a serious disposition and mostly look for intellectual stuff not shopping bags

With all the sacrifice and pain that marriages and relationships bring I can’t help but wonder is it really worth it?

Life changes every four years

2011-02-20T00:13:00.000-08:00

Cricket World Cups are indeed one of the most exciting and looked forward to events in our country; infact I doubt if anything parallels the euphoria and excitement of this event, tinge of which I can feel even here outside India. World Cups are an important milestone and after having watched repeated reruns on TV of past World Cups during bygone weeks, I couldn’t help but smile how my life has changed with every Cup that I can recall

1992
This was a young boy just understanding the game and life. An age of pure innocence, the world seemed to comprise of Hansel and Gratel characters; I wish growth was less associated with loss of innocence

1996
The young pup had now begun growing up and was grappling with adolescence, that too in a hostel with hardened molesters for company. I recall the India Lanka game in Delhi, many had escaped to watch it live on ground and remaining were glued in TV room, while I had a sizzling hot make-out, one of my firsts, in a closed dorm

1999
This was the age when dreams were made. I had just finished high school and was about to change cities moving to Delhi, where I would reside for the next decade. I was also dealing with my first heartbreak, something so common for this tender age; infact I don’t think cricket was much on my mind as I now discover many hitherto unseen games of this edition during numerous TV reruns

2003
The malaise gripping my present life had just begun to set-in, only I had failed to recognize the initial symptoms. I was about to finish my studies in a year and was eagerly looking forward to life, planning many things but did not know someone up above had a different script in store

2007
Life had hit a nadir and much like this World Cup, my life was non-descript by all standards. I sometimes wish 2011 was 2007 but then those agonizing years taught me patience and tolerance; hopefully virtues which will never again allow me to be cynical about life

2011
This is a bright young man who is enjoying his new found life, all the more gratifying as it has come after a long wait. He now understands that life has its crests & trough, at times life does throw lemons but also has its share of surprises; only those who take rough with smooth survive. Also he is now looking to settle down in life, a phase of life that he recognizes will bring its own challenges

What guys look for in girls and what girls look for in guys

2011-02-10T06:02:00.000-08:00

WHAT GUYS LOOK FOR IN GIRLS

1.Sex appeal – men adore women who have good sex appeal, one of the key factors which initiates attraction. Its straight and simple, needs no elaboration
2.Attitude – no point having sex appeal if not backed by right attitude, its like wearing school uniform over sexy lingerie, spoils everything. Men especially like bold and broadminded females who can take own independent decisions
3.Compatibility – all men like to relax after a hard day’s work with friends over a drink or two. Now its essential to be compatible as friends first before entering the complicated world of relationships
4.“Trophy” factor – now this is important as men like to flaunt their possession; it always gives a high when you know others are envious of you. I won’t be surprised if Facebook soon comes up with a new button which captures expressions of old mates when they first view your sizzling new companion
5.Understandability – men have certain needs which women need to understand although it may not be easy for them. Men like if their wives understand and allow them to visit strip bars, maybe tag along once in a while
6.Values – now this may seem a surprise and a bit contradictory too but guys actually don’t like sluts

WHAT GIRLS LOOK FOR IN GUYS

1.Intelligence – a very key factor as no girl wants to be seen with a dumbo. It’s a guy’s intellectual capital which makes the first pull
2.If not height then charisma – girls like men with personality, someone tall and handsome whom everyone wants to meet and greet, someone who can hold his own anywhere and someone who actually has a pull
3.Wealth – need I say more, deep pockets are a must else all is waste. Now don’t curse me, I know this is not the be all and end all hence not put it first
4.Emotional security – ever wondered why girls need men? It’s a man’s heartfelt love which gives an unmistakable security
5.Career – no point in being seen with a tall handsome and caring toilet cleaner, he may love you with all his heart but ultimately its that hot-shot investment banker who matters the most
6.Sense of humor – girls like men who know how to use their mouth (not literally, ummm…maybe literally too!). All girls want something new, something exciting, something funny – a man with a good sense of humor can have good conquests too
7.Commitment – I put this last because this matters the most. Commitment is to women what sex is to men. Period

Bridehunt: dilemmas abound

2011-02-02T04:51:00.000-08:00

As someone looking for a life partner through the arranged mode many thoughts, views, suggestions keep pouncing in my mind and unsolicited opinions from self-proclaimed gurus further complicates the process. I know I am not the first one facing these dilemmas nor will I be the last but that doesn’t make it any easier for me

Chick from Delhi/other metros vs smaller cities – Metro girls are perceived to be fast, demanding and into boyfriends (not my humble opinion but what I hear from bade buzurg) while small town girls are more adjusting though what I have seen is the other way round - metro folks are more exposed and more in sync with life

Working vs non-working – I have been advised that housewives look after domesticity well while working wives are spendthrifts and do not share their incomes but instead send it to their parents. Again my observations are a bit different with all girls being shopping freaks across every breed and creed, better if she shops with own income. As far as sharing salary is concerned, it boils down to DNA of person - whether she wants to build a home with me or remain stuck with her parents

Staying with parents vs staying alone – girls staying with parents are thought to be more controlled, obedient and disciplined. Maybe true but a bit of independence can work wonders; caged existence is no good and breeds contempt, who knows it better than me

North vs South divide – now as someone having roots in South but having been bred in North a major dilemma with no clear answers is if to look in North or South. I maybe a Southie in terms of linage but I am a hardcore North Indian in terms of taste and living, so there is a language and culture issue with Southies but a caste issue with Northies. I myself don’t know which world I belong to, both being so different and contradicting (reminds of 2 States by Chetan Bhagat)

Modest family vs well to do family – again bade buzurg are of an opinion that someone from a modest background will be more adjusting and compatible than someone who ushers in own wealth. There may be some wisdom here but I have mostly seen humble originers become shopaholics and spendthrifts post-marriage, its a bit like atoning for something missed out

Lifestyle issues – now this something I may have to work out on my own for I am neither a party freak nor can I boast about having trendy friends but am also not averse to having a good time. Finding the right balance is tricky

In middle of all this basically what I am looking for is just a person with whom I can connect somewhere – am I demanding something too much?

Dagger In My Heart

2011-01-16T03:31:00.000-08:00

Few days back I was having a late night booze session with C, who has become a sort of my best buddy in this city. Like me he is a bachelor from one of the Indian mahanagars coming to grips with life in this city and country; unlike me he is also a wild party animal and sometimes finds this place a tad too stale. During the past few months we have come to know a bit about each other and being bachelors living close by, we meet, eat and drink a lot often. I am aware that he has a steady girlfriend in Mumbai (whom he calls every hour) and plans to settle down soon; so it was with no misgiving or suspicion that he shared with me how he recently received a marriage proposal here in Muscat.

Apparently he met a wealthy client here as part of business and soon the client started enquiring about his personal status with a lot of interest. The client then disclosed that he was looking for a match for his daughter; C politely declined and buried the issue. But what got me curious was the details of chick mentioned seemed too familiar – wealthy background, US educated, jobs in Chicago and Dubai; I suddenly recalled that I too had met this chick’s parents sometime before. I did not mention to C, nor I ever will, that I too had been approached by her parents and sadly rejected a few days later

Some days after our chat we had gone to watch a new flick at a nearby cinema hall where we learnt that some more friends will be joining us. One of those friends happened to be this chick, who to my surprise was with her boyfriend! Now imagine her parents are going around town looking for a match whereas the daughter is painting the town red with her boyfriend. Upon checking with C my surprise only increased as everyone was aware of her having a boyfriend

Last evening I had been to a happening commercial complex for a bite, when seated in the open air area outside McDonald’s I spotted this chick with her happening friends having a smoke and good time. Howsoever hard I tried to ignore her I could not take my eyes off her and my uneasiness only grew seeing her uninhibited ways

There is something about this chick, not her in particular but those of her ilk, which makes them more desirous. Someone like me who is now searching for a match would be eager to have a trophy like her; her well known history overshadowed by pretty geography – this chick is amazingly beautiful, is trendy and partying types, wealthy family and very modern parents; in short the kind you can always boast of and make everyone envy around

I have never interacted with this girl before, nor do I think will we ever get to chat around, though we have crossed paths many times in past but I don’t why, the more I think about her and her enjoying with other men around, I inexplicably feel a dagger in my heart

Delhi’s Power Killed Jessica

2011-01-09T00:02:00.000-08:00

I was curious to see No One Killed Jessica and for good reason too, after all it was one of the most high profile cases in the last decade which involved the high and mighty embroiled in a show of strength trying to make a carcass of justice. I was not disappointed on seeing the film, it is one of the rare occasions that film makers have stuck to the facts, including Jessica’s attire on the night and the entire sequence before the actual hit, with only Rani’s character being a fictitious one

At the start only film makes it clear that D-d-d-dilli is all about power, the one who has more power rules; Jessica’s killing was a show of power after all, she was shot because someone thought she was powerless to refuse a drink, the person who shot her nearly got away because he had more power, people who saw her getting killed saw nothing because they did not have power to tell the truth and public which had nothing to do with Jessica enjoyed the show for after all it was a game of power

In a way the supreme struggle for power was the media campaign following the acquittal verdict itself. There are many more heinous crimes committed everyday in Delhi but none having the glamour and power that Jessica murder had; media surely had a field day in 2006 feeding and intensifying the public outrage after the court verdict. There are many Jessicas killed in Delhi everyday; girls are openly molested, rapes go unreported, school girls are abused – if not the life the soul of many Jessicas are murdered each fucking day of the year, let it be the blistering summers or like the current frozen winters; but none of these common folks had the power and clout that Ramanis, Jethmalani or Amod Kanth had

I doubt if Jessica Lal could have ever got so much publicity in her life as she got after her murder. To be clearer I am no sympathizer of Jessica, after all she was not a saint. Living in a plush bungalow in Safdurjung Extension she was lone earner in her family; any time of day or night she used to be picked and dropped by people known and unknown. Under the garb of high flying party life, many manage to escape from clutches of morality and bask in a life of glitz and glamour; however I do not mean to belittle Jessica or her lifestyle here, after all its her death which made news and not her life

Coming back to the film, it is a good watch even for those who may know little about the case. As for me I will wait for another film coming out after two years: Who Killed Arushi!!

11 things I want to do in 2011

2011-01-05T03:12:00.000-08:00

1.Have a happy and long stay in my new bachelor abode – I shifted my place recently and got a real nice reasonable place. Hope I get to hang in here for a good time

2.Find appreciation in my job – I am in this city and country because of my job and it is doing well here that should be my utmost priority

3.Find a suitable marriage proposal – now I also need to settle down and with wedding bells beaconing, I need to find a girl soon

4.Try to save more money – although I earn decent dough now I somewhere need to plan my savings a tad more carefully

5.Stay fit and healthy – thankfully I have shed a few of those extra kilos in last couple of months, but I need to watch my shape and take care of my health

6.Holiday in either Singapore or Istanbul – now c’mon a last holiday as bachelor is not a bad idea at all and I have these two places in my mind either due to proximity or friends

7.Get to kiss my chick atleast once – I have come close in past but never managed to steal a peck, hope it happens this year

8.Drink lots of daaru and enjoy with friends – I like boozing with friends and hopefully will continue this year too

9.Book a flat – this is not a top priority but I need to invest and plan now; after all I will be turning 30 this year

10.Help someone get a better life – past year saw me get a better life, will be happy if I too can help somebody

11.And lastly get a bit of Holy Grail – be somewhat happy and content , after all that’s what really counts

2010 For Me

2010-12-29T01:06:00.000-08:00

When I look back at 2010 many things come to mind, moreso as last year was a slightly better one and the years before that have also left a lasting impact, so it becomes a bit tricky to label this special year. As every year draws to a close, it gives an opportunity to look back upon the 12 months that have gone by and the sweet and sour memories they have left behind; and when I look back at 2010 many things come rushing into my head as I try to speedily type on keyboard

For me 2010 will always remain a very special year, this was a year where I accomplished what I wanted to since 2007, this was a year which gave me confidence that I can do it in life, this was a year which lifted me personally and professionally, as this was a year I finally managed to get a good job and better life outside India. 2010 gave me the hope and optimism that I was looking for long, it gave me assurance that I have it in me, it reinforced that I am not always born to lose

The first three months of the year can be categorized as the most trying as I was not very sure when I would get to leave for Muscat with my Visa not coming through; the old known cobwebs of doubt and fear raising their ugly head time and again. Finally when I did get to travel to Muscat I was not sure as to what will await me in my new city, myself never having stayed away from home and always condemned to a lowly life, perhaps one of the reasons I wanted to run away. But I have to unabashedly admit Muscat has been much better and comfortable for me than I ever expected it to be, in fact when I visited Delhi in November it was clear where my new home was

2010 was also a year of self discovery where I discovered more about myself than I had previously known. It is fascinating how less we know about ourselves unless we fend for ourselves and understand ourselves in much detail. I learnt that I can make good friends with interesting people, I learnt that I do have some elegant tastes which need more honing and I also learnt that I can survive in adversity

Ohh before I forget 2010 also gave me a girlfriend of sorts; this chick is indeed hot, fun and sexy and enjoys flirting with me. The only regret of the year has been that I have not been able to kiss her as yet, maybe a bit more mardangi on my part and I will eventually taste those inviting saucy lips

As 2011 beacons, it is going to be a year where I will have to make one of the most crucial decisions of my life in choosing a life partner. I am aware that it is going to be a tough call, I am going to walk on a road which has been much travelled by many in the past but very few have come out successful having made the right call, it is a tricky road on which the most experienced slip and which has no logic of success yet I am going to walk on it and I am not afraid. I am aware that sometime in 2011 I may have to say Yes to someone, having made up my mind to settle down, and right now I can only hope and pray that I make the right choice.

When good men slip

2010-12-13T21:14:00.000-08:00

Recently one of my friends here had sex with a cabaret bar dancer; of course he had to pay for it. I was very surprised to learn this though his fascination for bargirls was never hidden going by how he lavishly splurged on them while enjoying their hypnotic body movements and pelvic thrusts. I used to accompany him and also enjoy with him all the bright lights and gaudy dances but was a bit taken aback upon hearing his disclosure; admiration from distance is something else but taking the plunge is something else altogether

However I could always sense a bit of disillusionment and discontent in him, maybe that had something to do with his deciding to hit the bed. Unsurprisingly my hunch was proved right when I met his wife - average looking, narrow minded, and hospital like cleanliness freak. I am sure that had my buddy been a bachelor like me he would have contented with a girlfriend here and enjoyed life but never gone the distance that too doling out dough. Its evident that his plain Jane wife eats his head like a termite and whenever he gets a respite from her, he tries to make the most of it though I have to admit that the chosen bar girl here was a mast pataka, her sizzling dances in short skirts and high boots do make the butter melt

After his admittance last week, that too in a late night drunken stupor outside another cabaret bar, I wondered what makes good men slip and take the plunge. There can be various reasons from lust to loneliness though I strongly believe men are not alone here; bored housewives and naughty chicks also do seek thrill though not openly. One of the most unexplored reasons for slipping, common to both genders, is the loneliness which creeps in modern day lives and the resulting in satiated craving for intimacy. Many nights when I have been alone in bed I have looked around hoping to find someone in whose soft arms I can find rest, my soul peace and my body sex. It is a loneliness which hits many men, mostly at mid-life, but which females sadly never understand much.

Last year when I slept with a whore it was culmination of a combination of reasons – curiosity, loneliness and of course lust. I never felt any guilt after that my only regret being perhaps not opting for the sexy Spicejet airhostess. However after that I was also a bit disappointed for sex with a stranger, that too who does it routinely, was not what I expected; it is making love with someone you have crush upon or whom you truly adore that gives a high – the looking into eyes, soft nibbles, gentle rubbing of nude skin, caressing in arms, masti in eyes – a touch of heaven it is. There is a sense of indescribable warmth and intimacy that consenting female bodies provide and nothing believe me nothing, can match that. It’s a woman’s heartfelt love, affection, warmth and sex that can make man a man and whose absence makes good men slip badly

Is it too tough to let go of past?

2010-11-29T03:00:00.000-08:00

This weekend I was at a cabaret bar with my friends enjoying the raunchy and sizzling display of flesh complete with gyrating hips and pelvic thrusts to the tune of loud numbers; besides friends I also had booze for company but in between all the noise I started losing myself somewhere and recoiling in the past bygone days. I was enjoying the late-night enthusiastic show being put up by young girls and also cheering them on but in between and almost all of a sudden, some scenes from past came flashing by along with small doses of pain. It was not the first time and sadly not last either, when episodes from not so pleasant past have come to haunt me from nowhere and I find myself drifting into a world I have left behind and would like to forget very soon

I am aware that some episodes from past can haunt in good measure when alone but then from where do they come and bother in a cabaret bar of all the places? My mind was tuned to the voluptuous babe dancing invitingly in front of me, her twists and turns were evidently well practiced and certainly well admired; she would not let me leave early egging me to stay till end of show and just when I am beginning to enjoy myself in heaven memories from hell abruptly reappear. My past has very little to do with sleaze or seduction, its only after coming here that I have started enjoying good things of life so from where the fuck do tormented relationships jump into my mind just when I am being turned on?

It was not the first time that past has bothered me nor do I think it will be the last. Blogpals who have been coming here often are aware why I so desperately wanted to leave India and live anywhere abroad, but now that it has successfully happened why do the bad bygone days keep reminding of themselves again and again?

Lisa Ray recently quoted that key to happiness is to have a short memory; coming from someone who has so bravely fought cancer the words do have a ring of truth to them. But what Lisa tacitly implied was that happy people are also strong people; Lisa though a stunning beauty in appearance is also a very strong person never compromising on her own identity

We all have a past, some have more bitter ones, but why is too difficult to let go of the past? Instances of past hitting like bullets at times can cause and do cause pain and ideally are best forgotten. But as I keep finding the hard way, a future is yet to happen but past has already happened and nothing can change that.

Refreshing home trip

2010-11-22T03:02:00.000-08:00

My trip to India went off well and was everything that I anticipated it to be. If you read my below post I was undecided whether to feel excited or indifferent, not sure how this visit will take shape, but at end of day I am glad it all went well

After landing the first think which struck me outside Delhi Airport was the noisy ambience with cacophony of voices and blaring sounds being a far cry from the calm surroundings of Muscat; outside Airport I could spot the pot-bellied police cops relaxing in afternoon sun while the frenzied crowds screamed and shrieked – all this seemed so normal sometime back but so different this time. I was myself amazed as to how a little time away can make regular things look unnatural; however I must confess the new terminal looks swanky, modern and world class – thank heavens atleast something of international standards is there

Upon reaching home everyone was expectedly excited and happy to see me and note how my appearance (thankfully) had not changed much. During the next few days I spent time at home, I went shopping at malls, caught a movie, dinner with my folks, rode in new Delhi metro, took a tiring and expensive trip to Vaishno Devi and also a visit to my old office after my ex-boss had invited me over for coffee. And not to forget there were loud deliberations at home on my marriage with all chipping in with what I should look for and what to be careful about, its rather fascinating to note everyone’s take on marriage for it also somewhere reflects their own marital experience. In between all this I also bought some alcohol and a porno DVD combo where I later discovered the scenes were censored!!

Before flying I was cautioned that first trip home is nostalgic, a week will seem like a day, one won’t fell like leaving and will always wish if the days can be stretched. However I will not deny that I did feel some of these emotions at times but only after a couple of days I was thinking when I would get to fly back, I was after all missing my naughty bachelor life here and moreover it was those restricted environs only from where I had ran away from. Also I decided that my next visit next year would be only for a week and not the eligible month; I would go bonkers if I stayed there long.

Day before yesterday when I eventually landed at Muscat Airport and took the waiting pick-up for home and settled into my bachelor pad later, I felt this where I belonged and this is where my future lay

Going back

2010-11-11T04:32:00.000-08:00

I fly off to India tomorrow morning and will be there for a week; my office is closed for most of next week so makes sense to make a small dash home. Visiting home or native place for first time is sure to be exciting but am I really excited?

I am excited because

*C’mon visiting own people is fun and after all nothing in world can beat your own room, own bed (maybe a blonde accompanying on bed can beat)

*First visit so all will be curious to hear me and my tales about the city I have been living in for now. My good and not so good experiences should be listened to with some interest

*Have already been planning this visit for sometime and am glad that ticket booking dates and holidays have fit in perfectly; I had blocked tickets a month back taking a gamble on holiday dates and was overjoyed when dates coincided

*Have bought gifts and all for everyone so this shows I care. Now I am not a big buyer but then first visit home, that too from a foreign locale, does call for mementos and gifts. Not carrying any gifts would have been grossly wrong

I am not excited because

*Going back to the drudgery that I left and I despise so much, who in his senses would like to recall all of that?

*Have grown apart from my folks but anyways its only a short visit

*Always believed better to maintain distance than become too close and develop ill-will

*My past and uneasy relations still haunt me here, so where the fuck does any excitement come in here?

*My Eden is here where I intend to build my future so should be more excited by my stay here than visiting home

And the flirting continues…

2010-11-09T02:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday evening I called up my flirt partner, having not flirted with her for some time I was feeling something missing. Thankfully she was available and in mood giving both of us a good time

Me: Hey long time
She: long time? Since what long time, we have not done it once (giggles)
Me: oh come on, you know other day I had a bad dream involving you. I dreamt you were dropping me off in your gleaming red sedan and suddenly you stopped car in middle of nowhere and started molesting me. I was shouting help, help… but you didn’t stop
She: I am sure you would have enjoyed the dream, it wouldn’t have been scary
Me: so are you planning to make my dreams come true anytime soon?
She: if you want me to…
Me: I am sure you must be smiling, you have nice smile and nice skin; should show more of it
She: what will you do with it?
Me: I like your soft flesh, have many plans to do many things with it. But we need to be fast else I will do it with that Russian in Dubai
She: do it na…you really want to do it
Me: yup…but then I think about you and stop
She: why about me? That’s going to take time, do it the next time you go there, I am sure you will enjoy her you flesh eater
Me: make that flesh admirer; can never keep my eyes from your satin arms and cleavage I always try to stare at
She: keep staring only, as if you need an invitation to proceed…

I am not sure where all this is progressing but I am enjoying the journey before the destination though I wonder when the chats on phone will fructify to cuddles on bed – if anyone has ideas please share, I fly off to India this weekend and will be glad to implement them upon return

Addendum: guys, gals and fellow commentors - this chick is a sherni over phone but bakri otherwise (drawbacks of staying with parents); tell me how to break her shackles first, breaking of membrane will follow

When will I understand love?

2010-10-27T03:19:00.000-07:00

When I was studying in college a close friend of mine had a very monstrous mother, she was full of devilish attributes and hated by all, so much that I still loath the image and sight of her. She would easily be the most unreasonable and cruel woman I have ever known but my friend loved her no end. I could never understand then (nor can I now) how could one like, let alone love, a person so devilish and unkind. But my dear friend was different: she indeed loved her devil incarnate mother

I am aware that daughters are more attached to their mothers but this kind of love, which ignores cruelty and forgives brutality, is still beyond me. I have also come across other countless stories of such so-called love, and not just limited to India, where wives love their nasty and drunk husbands; where daughters still yearn for affection of their fathers who had secretly molested them during puberty; and of girls of my generation who crave for bad boys known for their ill ways

I have tried and made attempts in past to understand better what this kind of love actually is but all have come to nought, the only time perhaps I came somewhat close was during an Art of Living discourse where I realized that true love is actually beyond rationality and logic. And someone like me, who relentlessly tries to analyze moon and stars understandably will never understand love which explains why I have to think hard whenever it comes to love; someone told me once that I should start here by keeping a pet to atleast understand affection first

I also heard somewhere that true love is the one which hurts; now I did not even attempt to know what this means, after all novices can never learn rocket science

But yes I do understand lust, if not love, and a lot of it. I have now become regular with visiting cabarets here and love the uninhibited flesh display there; I am a porn freak and enjoy good quality stuff; I have made out with guys in hostel and enjoyed it no end; and off late I can do a bit of dirty talking as well

But over and beyond the enticing lure of lust lies the tender care of love which I am still trying to decipher. Maybe in the past I have been ignorant of my own failed understandings but now that I have to somewhere start making something of this damned life, I better begin to understand a bit of this illogical thing called love

Dazzling Dubai

2010-10-17T06:22:00.000-07:00

I returned from my trip to Dubai last evening which was indeed exhilarating and exciting. I found Dubai to be an international city crowded with nationals of all countries from Europe, Asia and North Africa; a city comparable to Hong Kong and Singapore, the only two foreign lands I had been to before coming to Muscat. However unlike those two places Dubai still has some way to go for its knee-jerk attempted overnight development is all too visible.

One of the reasons I was looking forward to Dubai was to meet my office colleagues with whom I had only interacted over phone till now. Its always tricky to put a face to voice and words as it can be surprising how different people can actually look from what one had imagined. However it was good catching up with all and they too were happy to see me

As a city I found Dubai to be full of malls, beaches and babes; comparable to any of the concrete jungles sprouting all over India having a frenzied lifestyle. One of the flagship malls at bottom of Burj Khalifa is so fucking big; it can take ages to go through all floors. However Dubai does have an amazing nightlife not easily found at many places or atleast the type I had not seen before; only Bangalore of 6-7 years back is somewhat comparable. The hotel I was staying in had so many discos and pubs that the loud music did not let me sleep, infact not just the watering holes the entire city is alive till late night

I had heard many interesting things too about Dubai and was curious to explore so one night I jettisoned off to a known nearby hotel and entered their disc after paying entry fee. Upon entering I saw the floor all decked up with gaudily clad females of all colors and nations waiting and eying men around. I worked my way to the booze counter and after taking my drink ventured around the floor. Soon I found girls coming up and offering their services at different rates depending upon length and duration. One Filipino claimed to be good in blowjobs, one Moroccan expert in massage and one had me touch her soft tender flesh all over before quoting her rate. Now there are limits before a man can succumb to temptations and I too found a Russian difficult to ignore. I negotiated with her for oral variety and both of us came out of the disc together for planned rendezvous. However the deal broke off when she summoned a taxi and wanted me to pay for fare also (which was not told to me earlier) after which I came back. Thank heavens the deal did not materialize, I remember the after effects of last time I had slept with a whore.

After my office training was over in Dubai my cousin came from Abu Dhabi over the weekend and showed me around town. Dubai is full of gora chamdi, a reason why South Asians now find it unaffordable, hence the amusement avenues and their rates too are suitable only for whites. Next day I was shown around Abu Dhabi including the huge mosque and the stunning Emirates hotel before flying back to Muscat. The only days I miss home is when I have to do my household chores and believe me cleaning my bachelor pad upon return last night was no fun

Finally I am glad that my long awaited trip did materialize and was some real memorable stuff; next trip there may take a while

Chewing gums and relationships

2010-10-10T00:08:00.001-07:00

I had commented on a blogpost sometime back on how chewing gums and relationships are alike. They are remarkably similar, my justifiable arguments given below; I am sure those who enjoy chewing on gums and have been through the grind of relationships will agree with me

1 Both taste very sweet in beginning, freshness and newness makes it refreshing
2 Both give sweet tingly juices to start with
3 Both come in different size, shape and flavors, chose as per your taste
4 If you taste one for first time, it can give a real hitherto un-tasted hit
5 Both become stale after initial euphoria and use
6 Even after knowing that they are past prime we still try and yearn for those wonderful tingles it gave at start, all the time unnecessarily stretching it long
7 Both taste best alone, never ever mix with anything, else taste gets rotten spoilt
8 Both come with an expiry date
9 Excess consumption of both is bad for health though we never realize or accept this
10 When the taste wears off, best if both are discarded for good

On personal front I fly off to Dubai in a couple of days and will return next weekend. Since this is my first trip there I am damn excited; have heard all good things in life are available openly and in plenty in that city, will keep all of you posted

Whats up with me

2010-10-03T02:23:00.000-07:00

*Saw Anjaana Anjaani this weekend. The film is such run-of-the-mill affair; you wouldn’t feel you have watched a new film at all. Jesus save us from the new breed of directors and bring back the dishum dishum of 80s. Only highpoint of the film for me was the burqa clad female seated adjacent to me who went wild upon seeing Ranbir’s striptease

*Last Thursday had been to a new cabaret bar, easily the raunchiest place I have ever been to. The females were clad in sexy, skimpy, shortest possible skirts and high leather boots, wildly gyrating to hot numbers. I was there till 3 in morning and for once felt really turned on; in fact was about to tear my shirt upon seeing a special item maang meri bharo (remember Mamta Kulkarni) complete with wet hair, see through blouse and special lighting effects. Man that girl pleading on floor and opening her legs was real stuff, more intoxicating than half bottle of whiskey I consumed

*Few days back I stumbled upon photo album of Akash Banerjee. Akash was with me in Hindu College and after viewing his album I feel he is one of the most amazingly talented people I have known. I was not much friends with him in Hindu but this guy was immensely talented,easily the best orator around campus those days. He is now a journalist with Times Group; perhaps that’s where he cultivated this rare gift of photography - anyone interested in photo journalism who happens to view his album will never be disappointed and infact I can vouch will not be able to close the window soon.

*My below post saw some guarded comments and understandably restrained response. Porn and sex is for men what shopping is for women, so guess some tacky posts can be allowed in once in a while. I have also started surfing porn in office as I now have a corner seat with a hidden monitor and no server to catch my hits

*My flirting with my potential girl friend is going fine and on course though she has made it amply clear that she will never sleep with me. How on earth can these girls know the real intentions? Guess females are endowed with a sharp sixth sense when it comes to men though men foolishly keep staring at other juicy endowments

*I have joined a gym out of compulsion to try and somewhat control my burgeoning body fat. Life in this city is so comfortable, I had initially thought living away from home I will shed a lot but now it seems I will have to fight real hard to control my waist line. The gym for the record is pretty ordinary and nowhere near the trendier ones seen in India

*Meanwhile my Dubai trip should be happening soon. It has been coming for sometime now and should hopefully materialize in October. I was slated to travel much earlier and for reasons known and unknown, it got delayed time and again though I am not complaining. October is anytime a better time to travel there than torrid peak summer heat

Hot favorites

2010-09-21T06:01:00.000-07:00

The first time I had watched a hot scene as a kid on newly launched uncensored Star Movies, I had felt something strange and good, it was my first erection. Since then Hollywood has not disappointed and I am recounting few of my favorite ones here, categorized as per the effects they leave

Gives a fever
Thirteen – Evan Rachel Wood is spunky as a desirable teen. Love the scene where one girl first seduces her friend’s neighbor and then eggs her friend also to kiss him, both finally having him together

Hot Spot – this was first hot scene seen by me and in my innocence did not why someone should put mouth into the male zipper. When a friend apprised me of the act I was flabbergasted as how can one suck that! Yuck

Cruel Intentions – watch the climax of second part where the hero goes to his girl complaining of his step-sister’s behavior. Soon the step-sister steps in and he discovers to his horror that they are both lesbos. It finally ends with a threesome of sorts

Erects something somewhere
Dead On – Shari Shattuck is mind blowing hot as the bored disgusted wife. Watch out for the long dialogue and flashback where she has it all the time from back

Sexual predator – the intensity of scenes is simply unbelievable, depicts real commitment

Zebra Lounge – shows a couple looking out to swing. Good stuff

Absolute turn-ons
Striptease – Demi Moore is Goddess of Erotica. Clips of this film are still considered the benchmarks for any female shedding her clothes to please men. Moore showed what gifts a woman can really give

Basic Instinct – no I am talking of the second part where a threesome was so hot it had to be deleted. Sharon Stone has seductive eyes and expressions with that butterscotch body and in this deleted sequence she manages both genders

L Word – the series is not shown anywhere outside West but clips are available on net. Never knew so many lesbos could have so much fun

Wild Things – undoubtedly one of the hottest scenes ever. Dennis Richards, Neve Campbell and Matt Dimon turn it on big time in perhaps the best threesome ever shot; watch it in context of movie and will leave you with a sexy sensation for atleast few days. Parts two and three also tried to copy the threesomes but could not match this one

Nice time away

2010-09-15T03:26:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a long break with many days off, so while everyone was planning a trip somewhere I was left some what stranded wondering where to go. Initial plan was a short trip to Abu Dhabi but with the Visa not coming through I was left clueless with literally nowhere to shake my ass. As a last moment plan I ventured out to explore more of this country and decided to visit Salalah, a hill resort south of Oman for a couple of days

I am glad I visited Salalah for the place has a truly breathtaking beauty. On appearance it resembles Mussoorie, Ooty or any other good hill station replete with cool weather, lush greenery, abundant water and coconut trees. Infact its hard to believe that this was a place in Middle East and not South India. Nowhere could I spot date palm trees or sand dunes nor was the scorching heat visible or felt; instead I had plenty of coconut milk and enjoyed the cool breeze and waterfalls. Fortunately many from my firm were holidaying there so I tagged along with some of them and when they were unavailable, ventured on my own. Most interesting thing I perhaps saw was an anti-gravity road where a car moves ahead on its own without any ignition effort! Strangely this road has no signage on display and can be easily lost in obscurity. Had this been India many temples would already have sprung around with all speculative theories of ghosts and deaths doing round. Perhaps the only low point of this trip was that it was a bit heavy on pocket, having been planned at last minute

Meanwhile I completed another year of my existence last Friday. I was a bit skeptical initially as where to celebrate since this was my first birthday outside India and in a place I am slowly getting acclimatized to. Most of my guys had already left for India so I decided to celebrate alone and in style. I went for a deep sea cruise in the morning watching dolphins play which was remarkably spectacular; myself going deep into a clean sea on a high speed boat for first time. There I made friends with a guy who accompanied me to a nearby cabaret bar in evening where we had a bachelor bash complete with beer and lovely bar girls. Must say one of the girls is real tabahi, she is absolutely smashing to look at and also dances provocatively. What more she resembles my first crush and can match her dancing skills too. My friend had a surprise birthday song played for me and all the girls blew kisses to me, sadly they were only flying kisses. My new friend gave me another surprise later footing the entire bill

Unfortunately holidays do not last forever but the rigmarole of routine life does which I am sleepily accepting since today morning

Status Update

2010-09-07T01:42:00.000-07:00

My life seems to have come to a bit of halt after all the excitement and exuberance in the last post. Two of the three chicks are now out, either backed out or kicked out and the only one remaining will take time to move from chats on phone to rubbing nude skin on bed. The first chick whose parents met me for matrimonial prospects declined my interests and for a full day I felt the agony of rejection. It does hit somewhere deep on being shown the door by a pretty chick; it doesn’t matter if I have not even met the girl personally. The second girl, who has been busy with my brother in India, did exchange a lot of mails with me and she did appear genuinely interested till she learnt my full name and linage. We did talk once where she discovered who I really was and as expected, never spoke again. My brother too chipped in with his share of discouragement, saying the girl is modern partying types hence not suitable for me. I wonder what he will have to say about me if he reads this blog someday. The third chick, my constant flirt companion, is making steady progress and hopefully I should be able to taste her juices in a not distant future

Meanwhile Eid holidays are coming up and all my pals are busy packing for a short trip back home to India. Even some guys who arrived here later than me are also visiting their places, already missing their folks. It’s a bit strange that I have never missed anyone here and in a way I am glad that I am away. My relations back home had hit a nadir so much so that I was yearning to run away, any place in the world, expecting some peace of mind and I have not failed my expectations. Its not that I have painted the town red in this city or if I have had a real kick ass time, but atleast there is contentment and have some what escaped from the negative dogmas dogging my life back home. It is strange how one can grow out of the same people one had lived with but I desperately needed to break away to emancipate from ill-existence where even domestic servants mocked at me.

However on a positive note I am happy to have now settled in this new city and new country which has given me a sense of optimism in life, so badly lacking for a long time

Hallelujah…its raining girls

2010-08-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

How often does it happen that you spot a hot and happening chick somewhere - the sort of girl who makes you alert and conscious, the one who you want to catch often from corner of your eye, the one who can make you blush, give a high – and few days later you receive a marriage proposal for the same girl! Well it has unbelievably happened with me

Few days back I received a response on my profile from one of the matri sites. It was from a family settled in this part of the world for some time who were looking for a suitable match for their US educated daughter. I pinged them on the number given and after a brief chat, set up a rendezvous for yesterday evening. I was picked up from my home at given time and escorted to their workplace where the girl’s parents offered me tea and refreshments thereby initiating a discussion to know more about me, my background, interests etc. This family is indeed well-off and very affluent having been settled in Middle East for ages, also they appeared modern and broad-minded in outlook what with the girl’s Mom dressed in complete western attire. They also seemed happy with my profile and appearance and later informed about their daughter’s upbringing, education, tastes etc. Coming from an affluent family this chick has seen the best of life having studied and worked across the globe though, I do not know how, I did not ask to see her picture. I bid them goodbye soon promising to revert shortly and they too looked happy, promising to set up a meeting with their daughter soon. While dropping me back the chick’s Mom started talking of her daughter’s interests in Buddhism as I too was part of the same; suddenly I recalled that couple of months ago I had spotted a girl at a meeting with the same name, who had instantly made my heart go dhak dhak. I immediately asked for her picture and recognized her as the same bomb. Incredible! I am yet to get over it. Perhaps the only hitch here is that I am a mangalik and this family doesn’t even remember birth details

I also received another response a few days back from a chick based in Delhi. She too is in the same profession as me and interested in my profile. We have exchanged mails with all details though haven’t got around a suitable time to chat. However I haven’t given my full name to her as yet though I have her complete profile. Now upon knowing her name I immediately recognized her as she had been kind of dating my brother sometime back and it will be kind of sacrilegious if she ties up with me! My only brother, ten years elder, is a bit of philanderer with a discontented marriage and always having an eye for colorful and hot stuff; he does like asking girls out and has ostensibly been with this lass as well. I am dumbfounded how to proceed here going by the elaborate mails and a very keen expression of interest I have so far received.

Oh I should not forget here the original babe I have been flirting with for past some weeks. We again met last evening at a gathering and sat next to each other, where both of us tried to touch each other – now this was not the innocent touch but one full of lust and tingling. We did chat with each other trying to look innocent all time so as to not attract attention from old foggies seated around though I believe some did catch our mischief. She volunteered to drop me back where she deliberately took a wrong, longer route so we could have more time to ourselves. Ofcourse we did make the most of time inside the car with some good sexy flirting; we discussed smooches, make-outs and sex, as if we have done that too often. Before dropping she asked me to sleep tight to which I replied I sleep alone and that moment we looked in each other’s eye for a long second. I swear had this city been New York we would have surely kissed on the open street. She later texted me “wud u like me to drop u again” to which I replied “sure maybe much more than just drop”

I am not sure how all three cases here will proceed in time to come but its surely raining girls

Ah...the joys of flirting

2010-08-25T23:33:00.000-07:00

I continue to flirt with the chick mentioned earlier and am making some good progress. Flirting is fun and good for mind, body and soul. I am now discovering that effective flirting has no rules, only requirement is that spine must tingle somewhere, surprises should never cease and for ultimate nirvana no barrier should be left uncrossed. Girls enjoy flirting as much as boys and maybe even more; this chick is surely a veteran at flirting given she messages back very fast and considers no topic taboo when it comes to having a good time; check out the snippets below

Me: u looking hot in that green dress. Keep it up
She: up?? Some1 will have to pull it up…can’t do evryting myself…btw I m in KFC
Me: wah…I too enjying my drink…wanna join
She: bottle not yet over???? U 2 slow…sleep tite
Me: sleeping alone is no fun
***************************
Me: my neighbor gal again smiled at me today
She: oh oh oh….development…u waved a hi? Do dat nxt tym u c hr. myt inspire her 2 cm overspk d nxt u c hr
Me: that’s ok but can’t seem to progress
She: talk to her n ask abt weather bt don ask her out
Me: u know I want to take her places….starting from ice cream parlor n ending with motel
She: oh u 2 r sex addict
Me: m a virgin dear, u wanna test it?
She: puhleeeesssee!dat explains why u wanna lose it soon….all d best
Me: I need ur help here…I can’t even put a wire cable in properly, have a bad aim
She: I too am bad at aims, at times the cable only breaks
***************************
Me: she again smiled at me 2day
She: u seem to enjoy her….is she special
Me: yeah…she has big ones
She: all guys r same……fascinated by biggies
Me: she has big shoes…..wat were u thinking
***************************
Me: am getting bored
She: go get a life…make most of it, go deeper
Me: wat do u mean by deeper?? I m only trying to scratch the surface
***************************
She: was jst thinkng abt u….gud things
Me: I 2 was thinking abt u…..gud things I can do wid u

Am not very sure where all this is headed to but believe me this is mindblowing fun

Can’t believe but something is happening

2010-08-17T23:39:00.000-07:00

In my last post I had mentioned about a chick flirting with me preceding week but was not sure if it will be carried forward. When I had first seen her, she looked innocent in her thin frame and glasses but I could not miss the tharak in her eyes. Few evenings back I was surprised to find this girl messaging me, which I promptly returned thereby initiating a marathon SMS exchange lasting almost two evenings, fascinating excerpts reproduced below

She: just woke up after long…office timings make me work long

Me: ok am calling u

She: hey don’t…am sitting with Dad…pls understand

Me: ohh….u have good co….enjoy ur evening

She: good co in form of Dad….our discussion every evening is which car to but, my fav is Bentley

Me: my fav is Ambassador….all VIPs in Delhi travel in it

She: hahaha….fav is Ambassador….why…any escapades done there?

Me: u don’t need car for escapades in Delhi, they happen anyways

She: I need to visit Delhi again, I recall travelling in cycle rickshaws there

Me: I had time of my life on those riks, best place for bird watching

She: haha…am not for a moment thinking u talking of birds here…I know u rascal, anyways gtg…gud nite, sweet dreams

Me: ohhh…before going lemme share a secret…Ambassador has lot of free stuff at back, dream stuff

She: what??? I can’t understand what u talking here…*blink* *blink*

Me: someone’s pretending innocence

She: innocence?? A woman messages u to talk and bas shuru ho jao bakwas bolna

Me: ooops…anyways I m feeling hungry. Also my Teacher’s bottle is finishing…looking for someone to finish this off with…why don u come over? Khub jamega rang jab mil baithenge teen yaar, aap main aur Teachers

She: ha..u think I will booze with u! btw I can out do u anyday in boozing…y don u hit the nearest resto…

Me: can’t go alone, yet to get my license here….u drive me around city OK?

She: get urself a chick then will drive u around

Me: I m yet to find a chick for myself, u help me find one

She: u wanna me play pimp? Find one for urself…

Me: there’s a chick in my building, but I don’t know how to flirt, can u teach me flirting….pleaaaseee

Now the last line was a honest confession….I am a novice at flirting and never know how to make those moves thereby squandering easy chances, so guys please drop your suggestions – how to move ahead with this willing chick?

Latest tidbits from me

2010-08-09T23:56:00.000-07:00

I had planned to watch a movie this Friday but my siesta prolonged and I woke up only 15 minutes prior to start of show. Don’t know how but I reached cinema hall before start but by then tickets were sold out, so had to settle for Aisha instead of planned Once upon a time… last time too wanted to catch up on Lamhaa but got tickets for Khatta Meetha. Next time should book tickets in advance but then will have to cut short on dear sleep
________________________________________

There’s a new guy who has recently come to this city and taken a place behind my building. He is from a big city and looks my type so I am excited. Hey don’t get me wrong, I am only talking about planned sleepovers and booze sessions nothing else though I am somewhat of a bisexual
________________________________________

Nothing else reminds me I did have a chat with a chick last weekend who did flirt with me to both of our heart’s content. Females here do like to have fun and every possible thing happens behind closed doors. Our chat started innocuously but went to all places plausible and I certainly enjoyed this expression of interest
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Talking of females and mutual interest, my bride hunt seems to be going nowhere. I have posted on matri sites but its not easy to catch something suitable and interesting easily there. Plus these sites are a bit like brothels, all females displaying themselves and vying for male attention. Guess will have to wait before something starts happening
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These days I have started doing something which I never fathomed I would ever do – I have started to cook! Eating out every day was not feasible for long and add to that the oodles of weight I have put on since coming to this city, I was left with no choice but to try my hand over water and fire. I don’t have access to kitchen so will have to do with only a rice cooker for now though I plan to buy a microwave oven too. Till now I have done rice, chicken, spinach and rajma, but wait am not finished yet
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And lastly I put myself on Facebook yesterday. I could not keep myself away from this fad for long, so your dear Pesto Sauce is finally on the most popular site. You can reach my profile by clicking here or by searching ‘Pesto Sauce’

When I called Malaika on MTV

2010-08-03T01:22:00.000-07:00

In my last post I mentioned that I had once spoken to Malaika Arora Khan, that bomb of a female on MTV Loveline and some wanted me to recount that experience, so here I am obliging you all.

It was the summer of ’99 and the only time in my life that I was undergoing heartache having yearned for someone beyond me. Looking back I guess it was infatuation pure and simple, however lets not get into that here. Back to Malaika and MTV. Loveline was a hot running show those days and everyone wanted a slice of it, I too never missed many episodes and listening to many callers and their tales, I thought I too had something similar to share. So one fine day I picked up the cordless and dialed the number displayed on bottom of MTV screen; to my disappointment, instead of Malaika it was a tele-message which greeted me and asked me to leave my contact details and love problem. I recited what all I wanted to and left it there

Few days later a call was received at my home, and as luck would have it was picked up by my Mom! MTV executive asked for me and when I came on line, asked if I had called with my love problem. Now the troubling issue that day was a pooja was being held at my place, so had all the peeping toms listening in. To run away I grabbed the cordless and bolted myself in a distant room to speak alone to the ever sexy Malaika

First things first, Malaika has an irresistible sex appeal which does not get camouflaged any bit even in the phone voice. You can easily picture those sexy shiny legs kept on top of each other and displayed with pride. The voice, the accent, the giggle…a touch of heaven it is. Malaika listened to my teenage angst with patience and offered her sage bit of advice, but I was not willing to put down the phone easily. I wanted to go on and on and make Malaika suggest something really drastic. After all who could let an enticing voice like that go waste, I have had explicit horny chats on sex lines before but this was something different. Malaika somehow concluded the talk soon and in a way forced an abrupt end, before hanging up I heard her comment loud “now that was a real desperate guy”

When I emerged from the room after finishing Malaika I found many of my kin curious to know what had transpired. Somehow they knew it was MTV and later that night after dinner entire family mafia was eagerly watching MTV in drawing room. Thank heavens my chat was not aired that night; else imagine all Uncles and Aunts listening to my love tale! Later one family acquaintance heard my love chat on his honeymoon in Kathmandu and was too flabbergasted to recount to my family. However he did kind of distance from me for sometime.

I never got to watch the episode in which my call was featured, though as luck would have it some of my school buddies heard that episode and I was later informed that many calls had gone around town that afternoon asking to switch on MTV

Now if you ask me if I would like to call Malaika ever again, I would say yes (for that matter why only call, would love to do many more things with her!) but surely without anyone listening in

Idea of a great day

2010-07-29T01:19:00.000-07:00

*Get up from wrong side of bed and discover you did not sleep alone

*Reach office to discover boss is on leave

*Check bank balance and find a large interest credited

*Receive surprise mail from old flame

*Office grapevine says you are on way up

*Have a sumptuous lunch free replete with good wine and women for company, find your feet tugged from below the table during the luncheon

*Uncharacteristically you grab the hint and having your dream escapade, albeit a short one, in the nearby loo

*You find free gift vouchers lying unattended only for you

*Are invited to a happening party where you get sloshed till the drain gets clogged

*Watch Wild Things uncensored

*Your best friend decides you deserve better in life and gifts you a tasty smooch

*Seeing you want more she gets eager and readily unhooks her bra

*You see fat missing from your ribs and find some of it converted to muscles

*MTV is running re-runs of old, old episodes of Loveline – the ones in which you had chatted with Malaika, during your only days of heartache

*Your pals invite you to holiday along at beach resort that too at unbelievable prices

*Unearth an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels from the wine closet, after all Mr Daniel is an old buddy

*And lastly you realize this is just the beginning of good times

Uff ye garmi

2010-07-22T05:47:00.000-07:00

Muscat is undoubtedly one of the hottest places I have set foot on and I am not at all enjoying this fucking unbearable heat. Anyone witnessing the sauna type climate for first time is sure to have his balls burnt (literally) and would anyday like to jump in an ice pond. Don’t believe, judge yourself

*Water for bath has to be collected night before since water available in morning taps is boiling hot. Also its better to cool the collected water with ice-cubes so that its somewhat bearable next morning

*Pickles, bread and all other eatables have to be kept in fridge, otherwise be ready to eat fungus infested or naturally burnt food. Imagine eating cold pickle or icy bread

*Before leaving Delhi I had planned of purchasing sunglasses from one of the swanky malls here. In hindsight it was a bad decision as due to initial exposure to the blinding sun my eyes have literally burnt and are now full blown black. I won’t be surprised if anyone seeing me starts ye kaali kaali aankhein…

*Skin on my balls has started wearing out what with all the sweat accumulating down there. I initially used talc powder to absorb the drippy sweat but it seems the enormous sweat pouring out easily beat the soft powder making my balls resemble outgrown vegetation. Fuck I have even forgotten the name of ointment to be used and am too embarrassed to ask anyone around. But the irritation of sweating balls is no joke, it can burn like hell

*6-7 bottles of water have to be consumed everyday else risk dehydrating yourself. Worse water is not free here like India and is actually more expensive than petrol. So along with your monthly expenses budget something for peene ka pani too

*A C always has to be kept at maximum limit but its no guarantee that you will be comfortable. Last night I had AC running at full blast but still felt the heat rubbing my round ribs and lovely ass

*As I said that AC does not solve all woes, so even in an air-conditioned car you continue to feel roasted. Although sweating will not occur under a running air conditioner, but it will not diminish the heat much and legs and limbs will continue to experience that burning sensation

Now is there anyone willing to join me in this interesting weather?

Describing life partner

2010-07-17T22:53:00.000-07:00

Please describe your desired partner in few words

I was stumped upon seeing this while uploading my matrimonial profile and stumbled many times before I could draft a reply. Infact after so many corrections I finally gave up and only wrote: Its difficult to describe the partner you are looking for as cannot say I want A,B or C; I believe at end of day its two individuals clicking together and contently living with each other. It honestly doesn’t matter what or from where she is coming from, as long as we are compatible and share the same passions and aspirations from life. But if I have to specify, I am looking for someone broad-minded, generous, compassionate, trustworthy, caring and preferably having spiritual bent of mind. A person having interest in current affairs and intellectual stuff will gel well with me

Now I never thought before in my life what my partner should be like nor did I ever have any picture in my mind. Sure I have been attracted to females, and many of them for that matter, but that attraction may not have been to the total person as such. Getting attracted is easy, and men easily fall for hot stuff if subtle hints are dropped but can this attraction endure the test of time? Or for that can any relationship stand on solid strength for long? Maybe not, or maybe not easily, for if they were actually solid then break-ups wouldn’t have been the order of the day

Perhaps a reason relationships fail is because we allow them to fail, expecting or thinking the other person to be what he/she is actually not. And then there are other fulfillments sought which may not be critical but is somewhere important. Lust and passion are vital to keep the fire burning; I will not deny that I yearn to taste nice boobs. However more important than lust and from where lust stems from, is the chemistry between two people. Many times the fire extinguishes because the chemistry fizzles off and what started off as a roller coaster of excitement degenerates to a stale rigmarole of monotonous existence.

However this piece is not about relationships but about what you expect or want your partner to be. Some of the common answers I found were the clichéd honest, caring, truthful, sincere etc. and expectedly nobody wrote hot, passionate, sexy. For me I would really expect my partner to be someone I get along with well and someone I can relate to at some level. A couple I honestly adore is Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf, both of them knew each other for long and when towards end of their careers they did come closer, both gave each other space and ensured their companionship succeeds. Both had their fingers burnt in past and knew the troubles of fame; only towards end of their tumultuous yet successful careers they found solace in each other. It was not a teeny booper romance by any stretch and it succeeded because both came from same profession, similar careers and respected each other for what they were

Honestly there have been females I have been with in past who I thought could turn out to be good companions, though each for a different reason. However one thing common to them all was that they were all wonderful human beings, and I guess thats what actually matters at end of the day

Thinking of dreaded R

2010-07-12T06:06:00.000-07:00

Last evening I uploaded my profile on a matrimonial website, I don’t know why I did so and still can’t understand what exactly made me go for it. Perhaps it is the pangs of lonesomeness engulfing me off late, perhaps I now have some sort of a life which can be taken forward, or perhaps I am only testing waters. Whatever be it but sometime back I could have never imagined myself doing this but I guess something’s changing somewhere

Previously I was scared of alliances, I still am to a certain extent, and could never fathom why sane folks tie the dreaded knot. I am aware life is better when shared but life can be hell too when controlled and I can vouch for that. Matrimony is a double edged sword which can bring unlimited bliss if the coupling is right but can also cause heartburning agony if compatibility is missing. It doesn’t fucking matter if what you do is tenable or not, as long as both are in it, it works; I know of couples who swing and swap partners, hire professionals for threesomes, help their partner seduce and get laid, but they are in perfect harmony. I am also aware of perfectly reasonable people with the best of intention whose alliance fails to take off if frequencies do not match

Perhaps a reason folks do go for belling the cat is because some thing somewhere does want it. After all how long can you sleep alone? You need someone to sleep with, hold in your arms, make love at night, rub skin with, and also importantly be friends with. But don’t get me wrong here, its not physical thing alone which matters, I have been physical before but its completely futile if its without emotions. It’s a different feeling altogether when there’s someone on top, tongues rubbing with each other and eyes staring into yours in close proximity. This is someone who cares, who shares, who you can have a good time with and who never bites

In a sense entering a relationship is akin to boozing, both give an initial high and promise a real good time, but once you have too much of it trouble starts. Only the best and matured quality can be sustained for a long time else it can ruin no end. The worst part is no one except you can help if the addiction is bad and you end becoming the butt of jokes around.

All said and done, humans were not born to be alone and everyone does take a chance once, so whats wrong if its with the dreaded R

Coming soon - Aged 30 years

2010-07-08T05:00:00.001-07:00

What does approaching 30 mean?

I have been asking myself this question many times past days. Surely there are turns associated with each age – as a kid fantasy fascinates, as a teen opposite sex and sex fascinates, during 40s there’s a middle-age crisis with men and menopause with women, but turning 30 – what does this mean?

Maybe approaching 30 means getting your act together, settling down in profession, seeking stability in relationships, body becoming less athletic, becoming a man finally having outgrown the boy and maybe, just maybe, have a permanent partner to share and care. There is an age when flings fascinate (they never cease to fascinate, moreso ones with no strings attached but there’s an age when they seem end of world) but there is also an age when you want to settle down, perhaps relax with someone at end of arduous journey

I know of many of my acquaintances, moreso the female ones, who have been robbed of their sleep if they are not settled down when dreaded 30 approaches, no matter how well they are doing professionally. And it is not limited to conservative India only, many chicks settled in West too feel left out if not tied up somewhere. Surely this craving is not for physical needs alone; sex is easy these days having lost sanctity with everyone from school girls to bored housewives freely indulging, its perhaps of something more. Something which I struggle to find words for, something you feel missing out, something you feel its time

Maybe approaching 30 means a change in status, when you no longer want to live in that bachelor pad but have some your own stuff, be looked upon as Anil Kapoor rather than Ranbir Kapoor, when that blazing orange T shirt looks a bit odd, when porn pics seem to bore, when you seriously begin to plan your finances and lastly you begin to think for whom should you plan

Maybe turning 30 means a lot more, but why bother I still have more than a year to go

My sins against gender stereotypes

2010-07-03T04:31:00.000-07:00

Have been tagged any times previously but have been guilty of not obliging. However I am giving this a shot for one its interesting and two its by one of the sweetest bloggers around, that’s if you know Dipti

So here’s the tag – please list at least ten things you have ever wanted or done which your gender is not supposed to. And ones I am guilty of are:

1. Playing with dolls – I actually loved dolls, brushing their hair, chosing their dress, ribbons etc. I had collected about 5 dolls much to the amusement of my parents

2. Crazy about pink – I loved strawberry ice-cream and everything pink. I had a pink undie which I would wear day in and day out

3. Inquisitive about sanitary pads – I never knew what pads were meant for and periods only meant classes in schools. Whenever I asked Mom she would only brush it aside replying ‘later’

4. Liked playing kho kho than cricket – I never enjoyed playing bat and ball because I was never good at it, infact my team ensured I never got a chance to bat. I liked the company of softer girls and cute games they played (no pun intended)

5. Perfume – my parents had a good collection neatly kept on dressing table, from which I would get small sprinkles. Loved the fragrance

6. Trying my hand at knitting – many of the ladies visiting our wooden house used to keep their hands busy with two needles and balls of wool, making some endearing designs for warm sweaters, much required in snowy Kashmir. I was very charmed and wanted to replicate their acts but the skill is not easy to pick

7. Embarrassed at being kissed – I was first kissed accidentally while playing outdoors by a girl when in class IV, still remember her name Kanchan, I was so embarrassed that I hid my face. But the kiss was great – soft, silky and sexy. Actually will not mind a repeat these days

8. Sitting with legs on top of each other – I used to watch senior girls in school sit in front of boys hostel displaying their silky legs thinking in my innocence this stance to be more appropriate. I tried copying the posture, a habit which sadly stuck with me for long

9. Loved going to beauty parlors – as a kid I used to love visiting parlors with my mother and seeing those chinki girls do threading, facial and pedicure. I too wanted one of those for myself

10. Hated video games and gizmos – I was never and still am not, a big fan of gadgets or gizmos for I can never decipher them. I still don’t know and can’t recognize whats an MP3 or i-pod

Has my time come?

2010-06-24T01:26:00.000-07:00

Since the time I have landed in Muscat, something inexplicable is happening with me, no not the ones one may think of, but I am seeing everything through a prism of coupling up soon. At times such thoughts seemed weird to me, not because they are not unnatural, but because by and large till now I have been content in my solitude and never thought those mushy things were for me. It may seem a lot unusual but I have never desired romanticism or companionship much, satisfying physical needs being something else, and infact have been guilty of running away from open invitations and not picking subtle hints. But off late there is a tacit acceptance somewhere of an eventual and gradual change in status

So what is it that’s making my mind change directions these days? Surely Muscat is not a romantic city by any length though it is a wonderful place to live, much better than many Indian cities. My life has not changed so much – I still follow same routine, same weekend getaways, same shopping at malls, same hobbies – so what is that’s making me open matrimonial sites these days?

Browsing my blog, I stumbled upon this posted exactly an year ago and could then think of following which may explain the tectonic shift in my thinking

*I wanted to be away from my family which I am now, so thoughts about building a future creeping in
*Am now independently managing myself, but will build a better nest if someone to share comes along
*Life is about moving through different stages, now career has upgraded so why not marital status?
*I look more like a real man these days, I was stunned to catch my own fleeting appearance in a corner mirror last week
*And finally I now make decent dough, which counts the most, so can afford some luxuries

But marriage is not an achievement and has dangers innumerable – a wrong partner can bring unlimited agony, if frequencies do not match its hell for both, an alliance should not be a compromise but contentment and importantly where do you search? Matrimonial sites are like brothels with catchy display and each highlighting own self, those who have visited whorehouses will understand. Also for me specifically marriage brings more than its share of risk:

*I am a quiet guy leading a dreary existence who enjoys his drink, music and fuck at end of day not the wild party types
*I hate shopping with a capital H while females swear by retail therapy
*I have never tested waters before so companionship will be a new thing for me altogether with unknown pitfalls
*My upbringing in a dysfunctional family brings its own share of abhorrence and resentment; a far cry from loving, caring and sharing that marriage demands
*I am a sucker for stuff that’s intellectual or spiritual and anyone ignorant of these doesn’t rate too high with me or is rather deplored
*Females are sensitive and complicated which gets tough to decipher
*I have been through shit before in terms of having a too authoritative and suppressing female in my life; I don’t want another reincarnation of my Mom please

Perhaps now I can relate to what some others known to me in past were going through when craving an alliance while I ridiculed them in my heart of heart. Frankly I used to mock and sneer at people, both in real and virtual world, who were always on lookout for love interest as if nothing better to do, but now slowly I am realizing its only a completion of oneself that’s been sought

I have now grasped and realized for better that matrimony is a stage of life which eventually many graduate to when life is complete but there is still something lacking. But the question I find asking myself many times these days is: has my time come?

In the last two days I have…

2010-06-21T22:42:00.000-07:00

*Lied to my boss

* Seen a male-strip show on net and absolutely loved those hunks and their bulging biceps

*Tried to steal from nearby mall

*Visited a doctor

*Been caught fiddling with my organ

*Received a marriage proposal

* Came across snaps of my old roommate cum fuck-buddy and still felt an erection, almost 15 years after those wonderful blowjobs

*Learnt I will be travelling to Dubai next month

*Decided not to watch Raavan

*Drank 15 litres of water and still felt burnt in this brazen heat

* Finally found on net pics of the chick I used to have phone-sex with years back and cursed why I could not jump into the phone

*Skipped dinner

*Worn my underwear inside out

*Been ogled at by smoking hot chick

*Lied to my boss (oh not again)

Ten Things about Being a Teenager

2010-06-15T04:48:00.000-07:00

Past few days blogosphere has been somewhat abuzz with stories of teenage, apparently there is a contest being run at ‘Compulsive Confessor’ ; the fad is not surprising, after all Meenakshi Madhavan is the modern diva of blogging. Going by some posts I too could not stop myself and jotted down ten things I recall about teenage, one of the most exciting phases of life

1 List of firsts – first kiss, first smoke, first manly fight, first shag…list goes on. The evolution from an innocent petal to full-blown flower couldn’t have been more exciting

2 Craving for freedom – it’s a paradox that what you desire the most, eludes you the most. All teens want to have their own thing going but are sometimes heavily patrolled, atleast in India, by looming parents. Those who are not eventually become sex symbols (see post below to understand better)

3 Crushes – this is the age for crushes. At first only glances are exchanged, then eyes meet, then eyes meet for a second longer, heart skips beats, longs for those eyes…all part of game

4 Impressionable – you want to try everything and be cool. Have the latest gizmos, boast of prized girlfriend, glittering Cadillac to drive and party like Paris Hilton. No wonder many turn smokers at this stage

5 Dreams and desires – at 20 you want to change the world though by 40 the world changes you. There is a time in everybody’s life when desires include visiting moon, dining at White House and finding cure for cancer. These days some dream of kissing Katrina Kaif

6 Glimpse of adulthood – at a time when you leave the childish innocence behind, the bad world of responsibility envelops soon. A grown-up in the family is taught many things considered incapable of before and expected to fend for himself now

7 Breaking rules - now c’mon its more fun to run free when reined in than when unconstrained. One bunks in college but the excitement of bunking and visiting malls during those school days is something altogether different

8 Puberty – now now now there are changes happening in your body you get conscious about. Suddenly watching porn feels all the more better with the inexplicable butter melting somewhere; I still recall when those raging hormones had become too much to control I used to makeout with my room buddies in hostel toilet. That was some fun with the fresh and hot sperms guzzling out

9 No dough of own – as I said before this is the time you desire all goodies but get shit in return. Sadly no money of own means someone else deciding what to do or rather what not to do

10 Acads burden – this is last and perhaps the worst part. If you are growing in India, pressure of doing well in academics at times is too much to handle for the tender brains.

These were my ten guess others will have their own teen tales

Searching hotties on Facebook

2010-06-10T00:23:00.000-07:00

Last couple of days I have been frequently browsing Facebook, not that I have an active account or have uploaded much stuff, but then what else to do when boss is off on rare days? At times Facebook can be more enchanting than even porn sites and surely you get to explore more here than anywhere else. After all it makes it easier to reminisce by gone days and also you get to know what those left behind are now doing. Of course being a guy I am more prone to search for hotties, the sort you eyed in college cafeteria or the ones you fantasized about in smoke zones. And checking some of their accounts has been fascinating to say the least

One thing for sure, a tota will always remain a tota no matter what, only form and shape may change but that doesn’t decrease their lure any bit. After all don’t we jump upon extra large scooping of chocolate fudge with same glee and excitement as chocolate sticks? And yes charm and attraction are eternal, I underwent the same flutter after so many years that I used to feel during those wonderful years.

Okay now coming on to the profiles, first one I found was a white pataka, the sort who displayed her marvelous white legs uninhibitedly and invited attention with their lovely shine. She had supporting parents, the ones who encouraged boys to sleep over and partied late nights. She once had her skirt opened in class, what a sight it was! Next was a chick who was short and out rightly slutty, it was rumored she had flings with her own brother. Once on a picnic bus she asked me if I wanted chips, when I declined she put them in my mouth but also made sure I lick and suck her fingers too. Another was a chocolate variety; her dusky complexion was too sexy to believe. Her boobs had grown too much too soon which made her more alluring and she was aware of how to make use of it. Even on Facebook now her profile pic makes full use of blown-up assets. Last profile I checked was disappointing, this chic was a charsi but has now settled down to domesticity; she looked out of sorts with those babies

One good feature was all these hotties are in each others friends list, I don’t know how; perhaps Delhi has a common hip party circle, so all those who love being ogled at move around together. And why not, aren’t all ice-cream flavors always kept together?

Fear of Fury

2010-06-06T06:20:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday afternoon while I was outside office for lunch a cool breeze was blowing, which was a welcome respite from the sweltering heat of this horrid summer. Since the weather was unusually pleasant my group lingered around a little longer than usual, taking in the cool air when murmurs about some approaching cyclone were heard. At first the suggested cyclone was dismissed, as another piece of baseless rumor which out-of-work folks keep circulating. Later in the evening I had gone to attend an Art of Living celebration, where everyone looked a bit grim, I was told that a cyclone alert had been sounded and then realized the rumors were indeed true. While driving back that evening I saw thick, dense clouds racing past each other that too at a dangerously low level. We stopped at a shopping mart to purchase goodies incase the city was jammed due to the impending cyclone but then discovered all malls and marts to be crowded with everyone jostling for space; perhaps the entire city was shopping so as to remain well stocked in event of catastrophe

Next day was no better with all preparing for trouble, in a way entire city was on edge. By evening everyone was cuddled up at home, well stocked with water and eatables, waiting for the deadly cyclone to unleash. By late evening all streets were deserted and though a wild chilly breeze was hitting down hard, waterfall had not started. Friday morning the turbulent cyclone hit with full fury and soon the entire city was engulfed with water. Down from my apartment I could spot rising water level and at times the parked vehicles seemed to float in the water! Thank heavens I live well above the ground level, so did not have water seeping in from anywhere and was spared the agony of seeing all belongings float in unstoppable water. Later information reached that many parts were still water logged and some coastal towns had totally submerged

I spent the cyclone-hit days locked in my room and bored as TV too had given up. Thankfully before leaving India I had read a porn novel in which a young school girl has raunchy affairs and encounters with her next door lady and later her husband, so it helped me heat up and shag well, the only interesting thing I could do behind closed doors.

The cyclone has thankfully now subsided and only pray it doesn’t come back soon

Some Do’s and Don’ts when you are in Muscat

2010-06-02T04:00:00.000-07:00

*Go around and meet as many people as you can. Omanis are warm, friendly and peace-loving, basically people who welcome others with open arms

*Negotiate price on anything you want to buy or rent. Although the cost of living is very reasonable its prudent to try not to miss a good deal

*Do not miss to eat local cuisine. Hamoos, shawarma and qubus are the tastiest delicacies you can lay your hands on

*There is no need to be paranoid about safety and belongings. Muscat is perhaps one of the safest places I have been to; upon landing I was late to collect my luggage bags but found them safely in a corner near the conveyor belts

*Look both ways four times before crossing road. Traffic here is dangerous moreso at night when cars ram through the roads

*If one wants to booze, better visit the dance bars. Skimpily clad girls will be delighted to see you and will receive you with inviting and sweet unmentionables, as I am discovering these days

*For all shopping freaks, and this includes mostly fairer sex, don’t expect world from the malls. Here only hyper-markets serving groceries and other utilities are popular, unlike the brand conscious servings found in Gurgaon malls

*Always carry sunglasses along if you come visiting in summer, else have your eyes burnt like mine

*Never even think of breaking the law. Maybe folks who have lived abroad previously will be more law abiding, but for someone stepping out of anarchistic India first time, discretion is advised

*Don’t try to flirt with local females (or males). Firstly its not worth it and secondly you may regret it later. However this does not apply to easy stuff available at times under streetlamps

*And lastly never talk about Sultan here, its taboo sshhh sshhh

Why Blogging helps?

2010-05-27T01:14:00.000-07:00

Blogging is therapeutic – nothing heals or helps as venting out does. This is one place where you can vent out to your heart’s content and find e-shoulders to cry upon. Life is full of twists and turns, and if that’s not enough we also carry some past baggage, but they all seem play maze here. No matter whats bothering you, someone is always listening (or reading) you. A perfect place to share and care

So many colors, shades of people – let it be a housewife dealing with kids, a teenager masturbating with fantasies, a hottie writing about her sex life or broken hearts crying over spilt milk; at times so many types of bloggers are there and amazingly you seem to connect somewhere with each of them. It always seems as if an unexplored, unseen & exciting world is awaiting you

Always best friend - Nobody supports you or understands you better than this URL. It will always listen to you and stands by you ignoring your time and again brainless idiosyncrasies. Best pals may ditch but not this old fellow

Deepest and darkest persona comes out – I have shared so many of my lonely desires here but felt no shame whatsoever. I look forward to good things in life and my sex hungry body lusts for those natural juices – where else could I admit this unabashedly? Long time readers will also recall my other escapades told here. I know being anonymous helps, but let this not deter named bloggers. Blogpals will never ditch, back bite or sneak, I can swear on that

Old friend in new place - now I can vouch for it like no one else. After relocating to Muscat I did not have to look around for friends. A simple log-on was enough to bring my best buddies around and let them know more about my new place. Also you can make new friends easily; now would you ever walk upto someone in a mall and talk with him/her? But you always can comment on new blogs

My New Workplace

2010-05-23T02:14:00.000-07:00

It has been more than a month since I joined my new workplace and the experience has been interesting. Infact this place has a lot happening most of the time and is far from the dull and lifeless environs of my last workplace.

To elucidate, this office is located on top of the company showroom and is not very large in size with only few employees. A good advantage of having a smaller unit is that people become close knit and you always know what is happening around. Also one always has a curiosity of whats happening where and the accompanying gossip, bitching and pulling down. So all in all it does make for exciting and fascinating events and proceedings at times

Most of the guys working here are Indians, most of them being either Muslims from small towns or the archetypal mallus found in this part of the world. However the work style followed here is sometimes seen to be believed with all shouting at each other and the blame games on with full vigor and force. Thankfully I am not part of this slugfest and have a desolate corner of my own, with a hidden monitor from where I access the naughty sites (porn is banned here) and blog uninhibitedly. Another observable feature is that there are not many smokers in this office and one has to go down and behind to smoke. I haven’t had my first puff here though may start soon

Sadly there are not many females in this office and those present are all condemn maal. However don’t mistake this part of the world to be conservative when it comes to females, one can never miss the tharak in eyes whenever they meet. Sometimes I feel as an ice candy whenever I find eyes gazing at me, doesn’t matter from where they are looking

Interestingly nobody comes to office on time including the boss. I find myself alone in morning here, having got used to the militant reporting times in previous firm. However many guys also stay late or have late night sales visits, thankfully I have a comfy job having the mundane routine and not the cut throat variety like others

Interesting things are surely happening which reminds me that last night I had again been to the beer bar and this time I exchanged some flying kisses and winks with the willing girls. Seems I am making good progress here

Hope floats

2010-05-18T23:10:00.000-07:00

Location: Some place we all know exists but have never been there

Almighty: tell me Pesto with this new change in your life, are you happy and content?

Pesto: yes My Lord, I am absolutely over the moon. I have got what I desired, albeit a bit late in life but now I am happy. I only hope this happiness lasts and does not go away soon

Almighty: I am happy to hear you are happy. But why are you afraid that happiness will go away soon. Remember nothing is eternal, good days follow bad and bad days follow good; we all have our deeds behind us

Pesto: I know but this long-desired wish has borne fruit now; I only wish it lasts for sometime

Almighty: its upto you how long you want to make it last. By the way what is this I keep hearing that you fret too much because of your folks?

Pesto: yes My Lord I always wanted to get away and get away soon

Almighty: oh get away from whom? Do you know when you die who will cry? Remember, relations are only what we make of them. If you only want to abandon your own people, one day you yourselves will be abandoned by all

Pesto: I will remember that

Almighty: also remember that it is important to let go of the past. You have started a new life in a new place, so wipe off all your ill-feelings that have dogged you in the past. A new life in a new city/country demands that you start life on a clean slate, which is without any black clouds

Pesto: I will try to forget and move on with life

Almighty: I also see that you are at times lonely though deep down you harbor some dark desires. These desires are only human and natural, so why don’t you do something for them?

Pesto: I am a loser when it comes to girls. Yes I do long for Holy Grail, but somehow have never been able to make the right moves. Also I have been guilty of losing golden opportunities and not converted those easy half-chances in the past. At my age when all are bored with sucking and licking, I have to content myself only by gazing at visible bra straps

Almighty: don’t worry son, your time will come. You too will taste nature’s nectar someday, though some time back you did have a paid adventure in some dark alley of Delhi

Pesto: My Lord I have never been in a relationship and never craved for one. Am I abnormal?

Almighty: no only a bit recluse. Let go of all your barriers and open up to the world. Be a bit outgoing and the entire world will come to you. But for that you will have to start immediately on doing something which you hardly do and which at times becomes the first striking aspect of you

Pesto: whats that Lord?

Almighty: smile a bit more!!!!

Pesto wakes up and gets back to work

Moving around

2010-05-09T00:16:00.000-07:00

My weekends here have been interesting and often with a lot to do, unlike Gurgaon where I was mostly listless and indolent. The first weekend I spent having a look around the city and visiting some known and yet-to-be known acquaintances. The second weekend went in shifting to my new place while the recent one again found me meeting and moving around

My interactions with folks around here have been interesting, to say the least. Since this place is mostly dominated by Indian expats, I have been floating amongst the Indian diaspora only but then they too come in different hues. Indians here can easily be categorized into three categories: first there are Indians coming from small towns of Kerala, UP and other states (many Muslims here); then there are Indians like me, who have been bred in Delhi, Mumbai and other metros; and lastly there are Indians who have immigrated to Muscat from other international locations. Now you well can imagine the difference between all three in terms of taste, lifestyle and general outlook; however the sad aspect is the first variety glaringly dominates, second variety is tough to find around while one will be fortuitous to come across the last one which are the rarest but also the most sophisticated to be with.

The first weekend I was invited to a mallu family household who lived in a large villa though they had maintained it like a Kerala boathouse. Next I visited another friend of family friend who egged me to live with him in his dungeon hole since it was coming at a reasonable rent, wanting me to ignore that this locality was largely inhabited by Bangladeshi labor. Last week I visited a new acquaintance who lived in a classy apartment, I later learnt that he hailed from a good Mumbai family.

Apart from all these meetings I have been moving around and discovering more about this exotic place. Yesterday I saw Houseful at a nearby cinema, here bollywood films are shown with Arabic and English sub-titles. I also visited a Toastmasters club nearby which I will join soon and also attended a Buddhist chanting session, which I relished most since got to see and meet many like-minded people.

Oh I also visited the dance bar again (see last post). This time I avoided beer and ordered the cheaper Pepsi instead though I again enjoyed the seductive movements of slim waists. It is amusing how same chicks in different skimpy attires never miss in making you feel good, same way one drink can give the same high in different glasses. Few girls joined the show late while some left early this time, I guess they also service customers in closed rooms.

In days to come I intend to move around and learn more about this place and yes, also post about them here

My visit to beer bar

2010-05-01T23:00:00.000-07:00

Last evening after dinner I was feeling like having a drink and ventured out searching for a bar. I did find one; however this seemed shady with dim lights and no board outside. However as I was eager for booze I ordered for a beer and salad; in this country you cannot order drinks alone. I had only settled down when I noticed some skimpily clad girls come in front and soon there was a music system visible. Then started some bollywood music on which the chicks gyrated themselves and danced raunchily

To start with three chicks were seated on a table and fourth one standing was lip-syncing the songs from behind. The chicks were Indian and must be in their early youth, but all of them were hotly dressed in different attires complete with lovely cleavage display. They were making eye contact with the audience and making naughty gestures which were returned by many admirers enjoying their drinks who were busy ogling at the skin show on display. I too was having a good time and one chick, dressed in pink, started making inviting gestures at me. I smiled back though sadly it did not progress any further

A noticeable thing was the chicks were not dancing full throttle but only making suggestive body moves but never losing eye- contact, all the time enticing the male pigs to come on. I could feel the beer actually give a good high once I concentrated on the slim waists and their slow, inviting movements. Their is something about the female body which does have a good effect down somewhere if the owner knows how to make optimum use of its assets, I could feel that yesterday

However one drawback was the beer and salad were not good, I felt like puking when I came back and had a bad night, which also involved emergency use of vomit stopping tablets. Next time will have to be careful on what I order

Meanwhile I shifted to my new place yesterday morning and spent the day setting my stuff. Good thing is its walking distance to my workplace and good facilities are available around (including this beer bar); it’s the first time in my life that I am staying at a place rented from my own money, a point highlighted by my Mom in last evening’s call

Things are surely fun here, don’t believe then should have seen those hip movements

Travelling within Oman

2010-04-27T23:08:00.000-07:00

Past two days I have been travelling in interiors of Oman as part of my induction and have already covered more than 1200 kilometers in two days! Travelling within any country is an experience and Oman is no different. It is very much similar to India though it has a few intricacies which can seem amusing on first notice

Roads in Oman are the best I have ever seen. In all the distance that I travelled there was not a single pothole visible with a smooth surface maintained all through. Also the roads have good signage on the sides, that too without any tearing. A peculiar feature here is the way given to animals, for killing animals on road is not acceptable and killing a camel can lead to life imprisonment! All cars here are equipped with hazard lights, which have to be flashed on any road blockages visible. However the smooth roads and tight discipline cannot be taken as an excuse for speeding, as there are radars on both sides of road which can detect speeding vehicles.

Going by the geographical spread Oman is a large country, largest after Saudi in this part of the world. I enjoyed most talking with Omanis, leaving away from Muscat in towns of Ibri, Nizwa, Humra, Sohar, Shinaz and Moussanna. Most of the Omanis are peace loving folks and revere you irrespective of religion or faith. However most of them lead a desultory existence removed from the hullaballoo of modern day living and are ignorant to the extent that net connections are not available in some of these towns.

This weekend I have to shift to my new apartment, which is near to my office though I am coughing out an unreasonable sum for it. It is inhabited by an old guy who will be my new flat mate and sincerely hope he is not an asshole. The only benefit perhaps coming is that I am getting a place furnished so will not have to look around for stuff in this new country. On work front there is lot to do though for now I am only sizing up everyone around. Seems I am in for interesting times…

My first days in Muscat

2010-04-22T01:53:00.000-07:00

It all seems a blur…the night before leaving for Muscat I was having all sorts of nightmares, and even wanted to drop out of the flight! But then I guess destiny has something else in store for me and I am simply following on. I vividly remember Sunday morning, getting up at crack of dawn, hurried taxi to airport, all my folks wishing their final good byes, custom and security clearance, the laborers on the adjacent seats on Oman Air, watching the sea in awe from my window seat, the Arabic announcements on flight, the small Muscat Airport... upon landing in Muscat the clearance from Airport did not take long and thankfully a pick-up was arranged, from where I proceeded to the arranged service apartment.

First impressions about Muscat is that it’s a very clean city, though its small in size and nothing near a modern cosmopolitan. However rule of the law is feared and respected with constant vigil maintained by authorities in all forms, Sultan is a God here. However the cleanliness of the city is remarkable, I can’t imagine this cleanliness and maintenance anywhere in India. Also the city is blessed with a very bright sunshine and there is no pollution, a stark difference from Delhi. Moreover there are a good number of Indians around, so one feels not very far away from dear motherland but the differences cannot be ignored also, all your blogger profiles except the blognames and Facebook appear in Arabic here

Perhaps the only couple of things one has to be careful about are never to get involved with the feared authorities and the killer traffic on the road. Apart from this, the people appear friendly and helpful, atleast till now. The city is not at all hard to settle in and first few days have been pleasant and hassle-free, though I guess the real test will start once I move out of the company accommodation. A good feature of this city is the proximity of residential apartments to the workplace, one can actually do without a conveyance! Also the cost of living is reasonable and essentials are available nearby. The only drawback is the entire city goes to sleep after 9, though there is a cabaret bar near my apartment

On workfront it is all very challenging for there is nothing in name of HR here. I have been meeting different employees past some days, but I doubt if I could have ever got anything more daunting and testing at this stage of my career. I am aware that I am in for interesting times but am not intimidated by the uphill task awaiting me. After all good money demands good work too

My weekend starts on Friday and work week commences on previously lazy Sundays. This weekend I plan to go house hunting, a major concern for me is to find good housemates and then look to find my feet in the city soon. Will keep all of you posted, though replying to comments may take sometime.

Hope, fear, excitement…a new dawn awaits

2010-04-17T01:03:00.000-07:00

The day I was waiting for is finally here. I will be flying to Muscat tomorrow morning and am already experiencing a myriad of emotions. For someone who has craved for a change for long this is indeed a welcome boon, but some where there is also an apprehension of stepping into the unknown and what the future actually holds for me. I am sure there will be no dearth of challenges in the new place moreso for a pampered kid like me, who has never lived away from home and has lived a life replete with splendor. But there is also an awareness that it is high time for me to step out of my comfort zone into the real world and make something of this damned life

I am not very sure of what I am getting into, for I am a greenhorn at handling domesticity. I don’t know cooking, have never washed my clothes, never even changed bedsheets and am going to live all alone in a far-off land all by myself! But admittedly this has not deterred me one bit and am sure down the line somewhere I will find my feet in the city, though it may take sometime

However there is also hope and an undeniable tinge of excitement. Anything new does bring some freshness along and it becomes all the more sweet if it is long sought. I sincerely wish that this new and a very major turn of life does turn out to be good and rewarding; and all the wait and perseverance does pay off somewhere. For the past many years I had been on look-out for a good international assignment, which was seen by me as a panacea for all the ills dogging me. One I would have been away from home and secondly, it never hurts to rake in the moolah. Now that it is finally happening, its only upon me to make it successful.

This is my last post from India and am not sure when I will be able to post next. Also I will not be able to comment on other blogs for sometime, but be assured that I will seize any opportunity to access WWW at the first instance. Till then alvida…

Online air booking: lessons to learn

2010-04-11T08:10:00.000-07:00

Day before yesterday I got a sudden brain wave that before embarking for Muscat I should visit Vaishno Devi once; it’s always good to pay obeisance that too before perhaps one of the crucial junctures of my life. Adding fuel to the thoughts were the facts that my previous trips had been successful and if I can make it then should try for another trip. However one quick look at the airfares over the weekend and my plans went on the backburner, a to and fro trip costing 12 grand, which is more expensive than even visiting Bangalore and Hyderabad! But the bug had already caught me by then and I could not stop exploring the option of other travel dates, totally unaware that online pricing of air tickets uses logic similar to casino gambling. My ordeal with online booking websites was less than pleasing and not at all pocket friendly, as depicted below

Day before yesterday morning
Quick check on fares: 12 grand to and fro drop the idea!!

Day before yesterday afternoon
Let’s tweak the dates and look at weekdays: hmm fares drop a little wait for some time for fares to drop

Day before yesterday evening
Fares for Monday and Tuesday is less than 7 grand!!! Yeah (jumping) wait for more time for fares to drop even more

Yesterday morning
Fares are still low…hit ‘book’ immediately. Now whats this…seats not available!! Doesn’t matter, wait

Yesterday afternoon
Low fares are still visible for different days combination, but perhaps all seats have been booked with only few left. A seat on Spicejet now costs 13 grand!! Quick realization that if I do not act left seats will also go soon

Immediately book available option, but one leg of journey unconfirmed. Call up the toll free number of website and book. Pay charges of 400 bucks more but thankfully I get my tickets for a princely 9 grand (a normal fare should be less than 7 grand)

Moral: if planning travel plan in advance and whenever see a good bargain never forego

End of a chapter

2010-04-07T04:09:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day in my present firm and I cannot help being overwhelmed by the gamut of emotions enveloping me. I vividly remember my first day at this place four years back, how different people looked, the old-fashioned look of the place, those unanswered questions and yes I had forgotten my purse that day so had to borrow money for lunch! So much has changed and so much has remained same but it is all coming to an end. No longer will I have to get up early, no longer will the same morning drive to office happen and no longer will I blog from this computer

But to be candid I am indeed relieved to be leaving, after all don’t we all always crave for greener pastures. While clearing my exit formalities someone asked me how I am feeling and I started humming jeeska mujhe that intezaar wo ghadi aa gayee… There were days in the past when I was so frustrated and looking desperately for something good but then I guess I was destined to wait. 2007 and 2008 were especially bugging as there were many openings around but the elixir always eluded me. And then the recession came calling dashing all my hopes though I am grateful that I did not lose my job during those horrible days. Now that the world is coming back I am getting ready to enter the real world and face it head on

However the last few days have not been short of anxiety. If you read my last post my edginess will not be hidden. I again spoke to both the offices yesterday and learnt my Oman visa application has hit a roadblock but thankfully my future employers have taken it upon themselves to fly me there. I have been asked to be ready with my packing which I am, I doubt if I have done so many purchases ever, all funded by generous Mom. My nephew’s surgery is scheduled for tomorrow marking another critical day and event – the kid is so sweet and small it is truly heart wrenching to see him go through all this

Back to today I am being pestered with calls and farewell messages since morning. My official farewell is scheduled to start in sometime which will include all saying some good words about me and me rounding off with a final thank you. Thankfully I finished all my exit papers on time and should be off soon, more shopping slated for later in the day

I will end here though still can’t fathom will not have to come to this place any more…

Disturbing Confusion

2010-03-30T22:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday when I had thought of writing a post, the title in my mind was “A new dawn beacons” and not what you see above. A phone call last evening and the resulting confusion since has left me foxed, bewildered and not at all amused. Last week I had spoken to my future employers in Dubai and Muscat offices, wherein I was informed that I will be required to fly and join them soon. I spent the weekend shopping in all the swanky malls here and must have robbed many of them going by the number of my purchases. I even bought new bags and purchased more stuff to fill them up

Things seemed on track and going smooth, till a casual call to Muscat last evening to know the status of my Visa application. The ambiguous answer I received from the accented mallu guy left me dazed, for it sounded and vaguely conveyed that my joining was not on!! He advised me to speak to head office in Dubai for more details as they would be able to inform better. A frantic call to Dubai followed, where the chick expressed ignorance and said she will consult personnel in Muscat to know what’s happening and then get back to me. I waited for the call with bated breath and when it did not come I tried reaching the Dubai office, but the extension of this chick was engaged till late evening, probably she was in talks with Muscat office only. All through I was edgy and also chanting for things to work out well. Finally I did receive a call at end of day and mercifully my joining is still on, but the distressed voice of this chick could not conceal that all is not well. I am sure that there have been certain developments in Muscat office where my joining was planned to either put on hold or deferred and only some damage control from Dubai last evening has restored order and perhaps my fortunes. I have now been advised not to speak to that mallu guy and be prepared to fly soon, which I will only be glad to do even though my official release from present firm and nephew’s surgery are slated for next week.

Sometimes I wonder if it is worth to lose my sleep over this job offer which has been in a limbo for some time and only now is approaching some sort of fructification. My grappling with the slow response from them has stretched for more than three months now and their ‘blow hot blow cold’ attitude has not done much good for me. I may sound desperate but for someone who has inevitably seen so many slips between cup and lip in the past, it is only natural to be eager and anxious. I am aware that many more challenges await me upon arrival there but I only hope and pray that they should not be insurmountable and in no way beyond me.

Meanwhile the good news is that my resignation and handover in present firm has been smooth and I have also received a warm send-off. Life in this place was very comfortable; perhaps I may not get so much ease in job for some time, but it was lack of dough, growth and dull ambience which had made me anxious for a good change for long. Now that the change is happening my next concern is it should all be good!!

Is life fair?

2010-03-24T01:04:00.000-07:00

This Sunday I had been to a Buddhism discussion meeting in my neighborhood, where participants were supposed to discuss and share their experiences while imbibing Buddhist philosophy. I have been somewhat regular with these meetings off late and this time I too shared my experience, which was well received by those present. Rest of the crowd was also coming up with their own take on life and recent experiences, wherein one member was repeatedly cribbing about his life, even comparing it to hell. Upon coming back to my apartment building, I saw him again in the lift and was surprised to learn he lived in my building only. He then invited me to his apartment, which was two floors below mine, and recounted story of his life. He had changed professions and maybe ambitions often, inspite of a good ability was languishing in his job, he lived reclusively alone and seemed to lack contentment anywhere. Well there were many things I shared with this guy, to start with we were from same college, similar backgrounds, aspirations for Civil Services and wasting of time with it, change in careers, only thing he was married and ten years elder but his wife lived abroad. I must have been in his flat for a short while only, but the despair in his life, heightened by irregular career and lacuna of a family life, was all too visible. His place was not bad by any counts, infact well kept for a single guy and he too appeared decent by all counts, but his current lackluster life was indeed pitiable

Even after living his flat I kept wondering about him, I had never seen this guy before though had crossed his flat many times which was mostly locked. During evening walks these days I make a special note of his apartment, which is always blacked out; I know many occupants of my building but this person was never noticed and going by his rant in the Buddhist meeting, his present life condition was indeed unenviable

Going by few similarities in our lives I too can land in his shoes someday but what bothers me is not the fear of it rather do I, or for that matter anyone, deserve this? I know we all get in life what we deserve and not what we desire, but then can life get so iniquitous? As I am about to embark on a new and major chapter of my life, my Muscat Visa should come through in few days, I often ask myself

Is life fair?

Hot Hotter Hottest

2010-03-16T21:26:00.000-07:00

Recently I stumbled upon few not-so-old clips from Hindi films, some of which were indeed bold though done tastefully. 80s was the time when conservatism was still the order of the day and our society had just begun to come out its self-imposed moral veil, a far cry from the present day Emraan Hashmi heroines who indiscreetly taste saliva on screen. But some of the actresses did take the bold step during those locked door days and they indeed deserve kudos for shedding their clothes and jumping in the hack for some real uninhibited intercourse. There were many clips I discovered, but here I will mention only the hot, hotter and hottest

Dimple in Jaanbaaz: Dimple made out in shack with Anil Kapoor at the end of a song. What I like in this song is the way she rubs her nude body with the hero. She is lying flat on haysack with Anil on top with continuous body rubbing. There is not much kissing here but Dimple’s luscious body display, complete with a shiny texture, makes up well for it

Rekha in Utsav: now this is long sequence with Rekha and Shekhar Suman in the historical epic, where Rekha plays a prostitute who comes to Shekhar’s house when his wife is away. The seduction is complete as Rekha gives a bath to the hero in complete style. There is lots of foreplay including playing with soap foam, sucking water dripping from mouth and intentional body rubbing. You do feel butter melting inside after seeing this horny sequence.

Madhuri in Dayavan: this one takes the cake by a long margin. Anyone who has seen this one will never forget the eroticism in a hurry and would like to watch again and again. This shot depicts the way a female is to be taken and would be undoubtedly bold in any era. What makes this one stand out is the entire aesthetics of it- the way Madhuri turns in bed with hunger burning in eyes, the way Vinod Khanna looks at her before taking a dip, the passion with which lips are offered and sucked, the want with which Madhuri rubs the back of hero and the licking towards the end. One of the all time bests

Already enchanted? Now don’t waste time and log on to YouTube to watch the fun

Girls Do Dare

2010-03-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

These days I am reading a new book, which is albeit different from many of the works one sees around these days. The book titled ‘Where girls dare’ chronicles life of female cadets inside military training academy and well captures the challenging military life, moreso for a female, by the main protagonist the author herself. To be honest the book is a bit boring, after reading all the shit by new age authors coming out nowadays which have a good sprinkling of sleaze and sex and are mostly centered on the life of single chicks living lavishly in metros, this one looks a bit insipid. However this does not take away one bit of the effort put in describing the hard military life borne bravely by the tender gender.

Life in a military academy can be tough for anyone to cope with, and the book narrates the gory details in which miniscule errors are also handed out harsh physical punishments. To undergo this baptism by fire, one has to first keep ego aside and be acceptable to getting persecuted at any time day and night; something which is not easy for anyone, howsoever brave and Bond like one maybe, to undergo

In a way the book is a refreshing change and throws good light on the ability of the new age female, who can take on tough physical grind as well. I remember in my first job, our team was taken to a hill resort nearby and adventure sports were a part of the schedule. To my surprise all girls out did the boys by doing tough sports with ease while we boys were left panting and some like me gave up before starting. In the evening bonfire, girls again outdid guys by soon wiping all Bacardi we had got

Perhaps this indeed is the age of modern day daring girls, who do lead a not-so-long-ago unthinkably bold life. Many of my female acquaintances live independent lives, change boyfriends, call me home for drinks and fags, have uninhibited sex and never deny having done it. But don’t get me wrong, this is a change for the positive. We all want a fair society and only an equal society can be fair for all, and also good for all

Incredibly Inhuman

2010-03-09T01:00:00.000-08:00

Few days back I had been for a pre-departure medical checkup to some desolate clinic in South Delhi, from where a medical clearance is mandatory before taking up employment in the Gulf, but I must admit that I was totally unprepared for the experience I went through. There is another face of India which remains hidden and is so far away from the world I have seen or expect that sometimes I am shocked by its existence.

Now my idea of a medical clinic is a neat place with doctors and practitioners running around; and some patients waiting for their turn. Also the clinics I have been to till date usually service Indian middle class, so the folks around are the kind you could commonly see in any market place. But upon arriving at this clinic I was surprised to find the place filled up with laborers, truck drivers, scavengers and some of their brethren. Most them were shabbily dressed in torn garments and some even smelled of beef. Add to this the matching attitude of doctors and administrators, with all shouting expletive abuses and pushing each other around.

All patients/clients were seated in a hall upon entry; some were seated on floor also, and were proceeding inside a narrow passageway as their name was being called one by one. Now if someone delayed to respond to his name call, he was shouted upon and abused and if not well-built also hit. Needless to say all laborers were used to this treatment being meted out and accepted it for good. I interacted with a few of them and learnt of their sorry existence, as many of them came from interiors of India and were somewhat charmed by the lucrative money in Gulf, the tough and inhuman conditions notwithstanding.

Soon my name was also called and I proceeded in the passageway where I entered the first room on way. Inside the room I was made to strip behind a curtain, with two doctors having a good look at my organ and the all important hole, my hands forcibly kept up all the time. Later I went to other rooms where blood, urine and unmentionable samples were taken, all the time I was roughed and pushed around. In one room filled-up injection syringes were kept and as patients entered, dosages were callously pushed inside their arms and they were pushed out to make way for the others behind, all done in a matter of seconds!

Thankfully the tests have declared me fit, results of which I have dispatched to apply for my Visa, but I shudder at the prospect of visiting such places ever again

No Parking

2010-02-28T00:06:00.000-08:00

I have never been a great fan of paid parking; not that I mind paying for parking but it bugs if you pay in a totally safe and secluded area as well. The parking goons crop up from nowhere once they see a good catch and never lose an opportunity for a quick buck. It does not deter them if you confront them or even engage in a scuffle, after all they get their bread and butter and what not else from this open loot.

Every Sunday I visit my Club which is in a posh corporate location in Suncity and it irritates no end when a parking fee is demanded there. It is to be noted that earlier there were no parking fees and it was a free facility, with everyone enjoying their off on weekends. But can slimy bastards ever ignore the smell of money? Soon parking keepers came from nowhere once the frequency of regular Sunday visits was noticed. And the collusion also spread as the building security also got hand in glove with the parking mafia, blocking basement and other parking spots so that parking is possible only in designated spots, so that they also get their cut

Parking is a menace in most cities of India and Gurgaon is no exception. All malls and complexes charge a hefty parking fee, which is justified; but what beats all rationale is the parking you pay even when you use the road! And to add to this, no parking slips are issued here, only threats are made demanding money. Sometimes I really wish I could pay my parking with bombs instead of petty cash, would love to see these buffoons go up in smoke

You guys think I am venting a bit too much? Then note this conversation I had few days back

Me: Bhaiya bees rupaye to le rahe ho, lekin agar meri gaadi chori ho gayee to kya karoge?
Answer: main bees rupaye aapko waapas kar doonga!!!

Does patience pay?

2010-02-22T01:07:00.000-08:00

Off late my patience is running thin and for good reason. Some of you may be aware that I had been chasing a job offer from Muscat for some time and although I have made some progress, the lethargy at other side is bugging me no end. It has been almost two months since the job was promised to me and salary details shared, but there afterwards everyone seems to have gone on a long slumber.

First there were visa issues, which to be honest were somewhat genuine since this position is based in Muscat while this firm is primarily based in Dubai. Then the concerned employees for my mobilization had proceeded on a long vacation, perhaps in some exotic location enjoying themselves much to my chagrin. Now at the beginning of February when all have come back and other outstanding issues stand resolved, my offer letter seems to have been misplaced! I can’t understand how a courier from Dubai can take more than two weeks to reach Gurgaon, even if it was coming on camel back.

Even repeated calls and emails have not borne any results so far, with my future employers stoically maintaining that the offer letter has been dispatched. I will call them again this week and chase them further in days to come, but till how long can you keep asking and pursuing. And mind you this firm had given me an offer earlier too, when the global crisis had just started, only to pull the plug at the last minute. True I understand the current job market is not the same, as say couple of years back but that does not diminish my irritation a wee bit.

Instances like this and their occurrence time and again, make you doubt your abilities and down somewhere your confidence also does take a silent hit. What makes it worse is the delay is happening due to factors beyond my control and I can’t fathom why something so urgent for me is being treated casually by those who matter. Perhaps sooner or later I will get this job and work for them but the preventable wait has already started causing me much avoidable agony.

I have discussed this with few folks who all agree that I have to be patient and after all patience pays, but there are also limits to my patience.

I was in a hurry

2010-02-19T02:25:00.000-08:00

Today afternoon I was in a bookshop, doing what I like doing most of the times – whiling away my time. I did pick one quick read but my bowels were grunting, what with those exotic meals I had last few days taking their toll. I asked for the nearest washroom and was directed up the staircase, outside the entrance door. I hurriedly ran up the staircase where there were two doors opposite each other with Men and Women marked but in my haste I forgot to see which washroom I was entering. I remember seeing caricature of a man on the door before entering though in hindsight I am not sure if I did catch a good glance. After all as I said, I was in a hurry

Once inside there was something distinctly different, it was a bit cleaner and neatly maintained than most men loos are. What I did notice, and that should have been a warning for me, was that there were no stand-doing type urinals present. There were cubicles facing each other in the large room, each enclosing a built-in commode. I quickly entered one and bolted from inside. After all I was in a hurry

I unzipped my jeans, took my seat and was relieving myself all too well, when I heard those kind of noises from adjoining cubicle. Now you do hear sounds of fury from bowels and the final blast sound before release, but these sounds were kind of different than what I was used to hearing. These were less aggressive and softer. Also while I was seated on the commode I noticed a pad disposer on the side, which I thought must be a novel feature in these rooms little realizing that I may be in the wrong place. I should have got the message when I heard giggles from outside, but then my innocent mind banished them thinking them to be only sweepers or scavengers. Now who has ever seen a sweeper giggling, but after all I was in a hurry.

When I had completed my hurried stuff and was coming out I noticed a pair of eyes staring at me and making a dash for the door. I did not see who it was or even if it was a he or she. I proceeded to the wash basins to wash my hands. As I was soiling my hand with the liquid soap, I noticed another person coming to wash hands, but this person was different, as in wearing low-waist jeans, nail polish and had boobs. She looked at me and gasped; another chick who had come in looked at me in surprise; both females then exchanged quizzical looks of shock after seeing me. I left washing my hands and marched outside the door where I noticed the men’s toilet was actually on the opposite side. There were more females outside who were bewildered upon seeing me exit from ladies loo, but after all they did not know and nobody except me knew that I was indeed in a hurry

A good day at Mall

2010-02-13T00:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had been to a bowling bar along with an office colleague and the experience was simply mind blowing. Blues in Amby Mall is a wonderful, wonderful place and if anyone happens to visit Gurgaon do drop in there. It is a state of the art facility with bowling alleys on both sides of the large hall and a bar in the middle, with dimly lit décor giving it company. I am not much of a bowling enthusiast myself but could not turn down when asked out, more so as I did not have anything to do on a holiday. We played two rounds, both I lost; nonetheless I enjoyed the experience to the hilt. What makes Blues special is the entire get-up, inside there are small enclosures where you can have your private talks along with drinks and sometimes also do your private thing if you have willing company. There is a tattoo room, karaoke bar, lounge and a separate smoking room, all done in tasteful décor

When we came out of Blues we found a new Golf restaurant outside. On enquiry we were shown inside the huge complex which consisted of shopping stuff like tees and shorts, golf equipments for display and sale, eating place with accompanying lounge; and a simulated golf course! The virtual golf course was divided into different enclosures; one had to take shots with a golf stick in front of those screens which simulated an entire golf course experience. If that was enough, there was also a separate Cigar bar where only Cigars can be smoked and select single malts are served. Needless to say the interiors were done tastefully and the woody ambience reeked of vintage cigars. Adjacent there was a conference room and other business room facilities, all on the top floor of a mall!

I have heard there is also a beer island somewhere in this mall, will try for sure next time

Later I and my friend went to the floor below for lunch but the choices available made it difficult to choose from. There were simply too many outlets, more than we could take in and some of the brands were unheard of before. Also lined up on that floor were specialty restaurants with designer interiors and a food court where street foods from all parts of world are available, I guess this variety may not be easily available even abroad.

I have heard Amby Mall will soon become as big as Mall of Emirate in Dubai, only the broken roads of Gurgaon will discourage visitors

I dream of…

2010-02-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

Going by the dreams I get in my sleep off late I often wonder if I am really a dreamer, and if yes, then what my dreams really are? For the dreams I am getting or rather which are haunting me, are nothing short of bizarre

Dreams are known to portray reality and if not in full, atleast a shade of our daily life. I do envision the same people who are part of my life but in totally weird situations. Once I dreamt I was holidaying with my family by some seaside boulevard and suddenly giant waves start lifting everything up. Once I dreamt I am being chased by goons because I had overheard their conversations. Once I was climbing up a hill and suddenly pushed down forcefully and next morning discovered I had actually slid down somewhat in my bed

Not all dreams are crazy some are sweet as well. In school once I dreamt of a hot classmate smooching me and full night I had an erection. Later whenever I saw her a sweetness used to fill my mouth. There was another dusky babe in my class who was happy to display her chocolaty legs with her lifted skirt, I once dreamt of eating hot chocolate fudge off her legs

However some dreams can be sorrowful and leave you aggrieved. Few nights back I dreamt of an ordeal involving me and my kin which was so tearjerking, I even shudder to write about it here. All my hands and legs were stiff after I had woken up all of a sudden and I found myself crying big tears. I was in such distressed depths I even contemplated waking everyone and asking for their forgiveness, that too at 3 AM! Next morning when I was narrating my dream, I again broke down which surprised and shocked all, going by my restrained self

Foul dreams can be a hazard and a mood spoiler but I guess dreams are somewhere an essential part of our existence, for what would life be without any dreams. After all only those who dream fly

Party time

2010-02-06T02:14:00.000-08:00

This weekend there was an office party at Buzz, which is becoming our favorite haunt for all get-togethers. However this time around there were folks from other groups as well, so the entire experience was somewhat different. However what did not change this time, and perhaps never will in most pubs in India, is the type of customers visiting and if you are a frequent partier, its not at all difficult to categorize them

One of the first to occupy their seats that evening along with us, was a skimpily clad female who was seated on the lap of a real hot beefcake. Now this guy was something anybody would drool over, who could actually turn anyone gay. He was tall, lean, muscular, ponytailed hair and had real taut skin. The girl on his lap was making most of him, fondling him at all those places, playing with his tongue with her own, necking him up all the time when not smoking. Those two with their cuddling did pose a pretty picture

On the other table were a group of young girls, who had apparently lied at home and stolen their way to the most happening pub. All of them looked and behaved decent initially though after sometime they began undressing till only important clothes remained to cover important regions. What was amusing about them was their effort at smoking, for none of them appeared to be smokers but only trying to make the most of freedom for the night. Its real funny to see face getting red along with the cigarette tip

There was also another group around our table, who appeared to be having a corporate party like us. There were men and women of young to middle ages having a good time with cocktails and small talk, though the youngsters among them appeared more enthralled and were also enjoying more, going by their good drinking. And yes the female smokers here were actual smokers in real life too, you know by the circles of smoke rings

A group which made a late entry was of school going teenagers who were trying to impress one and all by their beer guzzling and macho outfits. Atleast they could be forgiven for their age

What is astounding is that almost all females smoke in a pub, even more than males whereas you hardly find anyone lighting up on the streets. Many of them can be easily found as fakes, even by an occasional smoker like me; you come to know difference in doing and showing off

Away from all this I did have a good time with office pals and good old Teachers for company, I must have had ten rounds or more that night, for I was well and truly down when dropped home past midnight

Ten Things That Make Me Happy

2010-01-31T21:26:00.000-08:00

I am not much into tags, but since this one was given by one of my favorite bloggers I had to oblige. I have tried to list down things that make me happy though it was not easy to evoke the times when grass actually looks green and sky blue

Chatting with friends over booze – this one tops the list; nothing beats those evenings spent boozing with old and new pals. I do not get to booze much, one of the drawbacks of not staying alone, but I do fairly compensate quantity for frequency

Getting appreciation/recognition – we all like adulation and I am no different. Getting recognized at work or outside indeed makes everyone happy

Sex and porn – now who doesn’t like having sex, some get it easily, some get it early and some make a fortune out of doing it. I yearn for those growing up days when inhibitions were less and curiosity high. I also like surfing porn on my laptop, last night I discovered some clips of Mia Zittoli, check her out she is undeniably erotic

Intellectual chats – I have always valued grey cells more than other personality aspects, perhaps one reason I am still single. I love discussing current affairs, political events, economic issues; anything which stimulates and makes me think hard

Outside work interests – last few years I have joined forums like Toastmasters and Art of Living which do keep me positively occupied and engaged. I have made some good friends there with whom I share many common interests and hobbies

Freedom from bondage – ask me what it means to be deprived of adult freedom and being caged all life. I do manage my little escapes now and then, which become sources of much elation for me

Looking down a valley – this may look a bit strange but I like looking down a valley and taking in its scenic beauty. Its calming and peaceful

Blogging – I was reading blogs for some years and had made a feeble attempt writing one myself many years back. But this blog is for sure my best friend, after all who can give so much solace and ask for nothing in return

Music – I always need to have music playing somewhere; either FM radio, car stereo or my laptop. Choices depend on mood though I relish all varieties from bhajans to oldies to new music videos

Reminiscing good old days – catching up with college friends and recalling those crazy days when nothing could go wrong, who doesn’t like it? Or recounting those foolishnesses with guys you have grown up with every time you meet, doesn’t that make you happy? Atleast it makes me pleased and cheerful

I am not tagging anyone here though whosoever wishes to take this up is welcome.

Mujhe Iss Shopping Se Bachao

2010-01-24T23:53:00.000-08:00

This Saturday I had been to Big Bazaar for a weekend sale; not that I wanted to go but was thrust upon to accompany my folks who were enamored by the huge weekend discounts. Shopping has never been my cup of tea and as far as I know retail therapy heals lesser number from my gender. Also shopping demands loads of patience more so from a nerdy like me who prefers cafes, beers bars or bookstores over congested malls any day

The scene inside Big Bazaar was nothing short of a stampede what with everyone jostling and pushing around for a larger share for themselves. Initially I found the entire frenzy around to be deeply bugging and quickly moved out but later settled for some purchases in the men’s section. What was most disgusting were the huge billing queues, apparently billing takes largest chunk of time and if the billing machine halts for whatever reason, you actually feel like pulling your hair out

Later we went for lunch to Haldirams which was no less chaotic with large waiting time for seats. Seeing the entire mess around, I wondered is there actually a recession going on and what will happen when boom times return? I guess we guys are not so much affected by these stupid economic situations and can get easily swayed by any type of discounts

After lunch there was another bout of shopping and by the time day finished well into the evening, my head was spinning, limbs throbbing and I longed for the safe refuge of my bed. Even after a long nap, the throbbing at back of head still persisted which did not abate even by bedtime. I was left cursing as to why I opted for this arduous shopping over my relaxed café outing but nevertheless saluted and admired the strong steadfast Indian shopper

If you ask me will I ever repeat this visit? Never

Years Gone By

2010-01-17T22:18:00.000-08:00

As another year unfolds and gets underway with all its colors, it marks the onset of not only another year but also another decade. I was reminiscing how the past decade has been for me with its own share of ups and downs and perhaps the coming decade will be no less eventful. Also each year of the decade gone by had its own uniqueness for me, which I have tried to summarize succinctly below

2000
It was the year of innocence, a young lad from a small city finding his feet in big bad Delhi and adjusting to hitherto unseen environs of Hindu College. Also getting over my first infatuation and finding grips with life of a grown-up. I spoke to Malaika Arora from MTV Loveline this year (and she found me to be a despo)

2001
Salad days of my life, as I was enjoying college and its freedom to the hilt. Life was perhaps never better with full on masti and mazaa, playing Agony Uncle to friends in romance, enjoying Delhi and its girls, wondering why college cannot be extended by another three years. Only wish those days could return again, not that I would spend them any different

2002
Perhaps one of the worst years of my life as I lost my father and that grief still haunts. For many days I felt like pricks throbbing all over my body with the pain refusing to go away. This year I realized that life will never be the same again

2003
A forgettable year as I was stuck doing my MBA from a place I loathed. These were the loneliest years of my life, inspite of having rich brats all around and some hot females readily available. Most friendless time indeed

2004
We moved to Gurgaon and I got my first job. Working was indeed a new way of life for me and my first job with its accompanying lessons taught me many unforgettable lessons in professionalism. Since this was a young firm with young workforce I did have a good time with babes and Bacardi. I also had my first smoke this year

2005
Difficulties in my job had begun to unfold which I left later in the year. However I will remember this time for the wonderful phone sex I used to have with an unkown chick. I had mistakenly received an SMS which initiated a long sensual phone chat which continued over a few months. Will recount those chats sometime later but I discovered phone sex to be indeed stimulating

2006
This year will be remembered as I joined my present firm, got a major bout of illness which refused to go away and things at home took a turn for the worse. Perhaps I should have got away that year only and wouldn’t have been stuck here today

2007
I joined Art of Living and found solace in it away from the tensions present around. Perhaps this was the first of many spiritual sojourns I undertook and I am yet not stopped

2008
I will remember this year most for its frustrations, I was not getting a job offer as per my liking and when I did get markets had crashed. Now I have realized we all are only slaves of the market/economy

2009
A better year for me as I started this blog, joined pursuits outside office, workplace got better and yes I slept with a whore. Compared to previous years this one did show some respite and can be remembered for some good things

As 2010 unfolds I have hopes of things looking up what with a change of location in the offing but dearly hope it should not turn to be another disappointment

Dilli Ki Sardi

2010-01-12T22:07:00.000-08:00

Winters are here and making their presence felt quite chillingly. Till December it was not so cold but the onset of New Year has brought down temperatures in Delhi drastically. I am not a big fan of winters but am not very averse to them either, perhaps having been raised in Kashmir I am fairly accustomed to the chills. However winters are different from other parts of the year in more ways than one

Woolens: being a stuffed toy is nobody’s dream existence and woolens actually make you feel like one. The multiple layers that increase with the decrease in temperature often give you a feeling of being wrapped with soft balls around. Must be tougher for cleavage displayers to keep their assets shrouded

Gloom: if summers are associated with bright sunny days, winters make for dull and dreary appearance. At times it seems as if Polaroid images have been robbed of their color and everything around appears to be in shades of grey

Laziness: I curse mornings when I have to get up early. It takes a good time for me to get off bed even after my eyes have opened and I simply linger around in bed, hoping for the clock to stop. Also these days gym has stopped and only possible activity is razai main ladayee

Fog: winters in Delhi are incomplete with out those misty layers around. It was fun in school, boys and girls touched around unchecked in morning assembly but not when you have to reach office on time. I pity those who travel this month, its certain that their schedules will get disrupted.

Shags: it’s very difficult to shag in this icy climate, no matter how hard you try or what you do. Unlike girls, no props can be used for enhanced intensity and the absence of sun does not help the hormones at all. Also one has to carefully optimize the attained crescendo, not letting it slip away

Watery bowels: if you are exposed to the chill for long and have a weak digestion, chances are you will feel those slurring sounds in your stomach. It is crucial to keep your body warm, more so the middle portion to avoid embarrassments.

Perhaps freezing winters will continue relentlessly in January with out respite, after all tadpaye tarsaye re dilli ki sardi

I wanna break free

2010-01-08T23:55:00.000-08:00

These days there is a new ad on air of an insurance firm which depicts a young boy being seen off by his parents while departing on a train journey. The parents are very protective of their son and give him all advices and comfort inside the rail compartment and caution him excessively to take care. Seated across on the other berth is a young pretty girl with a book in hand, who is blushing at the parents of a grown-up boy being so protective for him and the boy is visibly embarrassed to be treated like a kid in front of a hot chick. The ad begins with parents pamepring their kid inside the rail compartment and ends with them throwing bananas on the boy’s lap from the platform outside; all through the ad the boy is speechless and embarrassed while the girl, about same age as the boy, is enjoying the show of a pampered kid.

I never see this ad fully and either look away or flip the channel. That scene is too close to my own life, having been treated like a kid inspite of maturing in age and never allowed to see the world from my own eyes. Like the boy in the ad, I too have been embarrassed many times in front of peers and like the boy denied freedom which I see many teenagers commonly enjoy these days.

All my life I have been restricted and markedly sheltered; if you don’t believe me, then judge yourself: never been to school or college in public transport; not allowed to drive till I revolted a couple of years back; never rode a bicycle; still have driver dropping me off to office; not allowed to go out alone even now; during hostel life had a valet along; no friends coming over during teenage; never played a sport for I may get hurt!

I guess it is not very difficult to imagine why I have become a sort of recluse now and till a year back, remained confined, listless and sometimes lifeless. Perhaps it is for these reasons I have been long harboring ambitions to get away to a place far away; different people, different city and maybe a different country. In a way I am fortunate for it is now unambiguously clear that I will have to build my castle on a distant shore rather than continue to pity myself at my dilapidated condition amidst restricted environs here. I know my time will come when I will be far and away but the million dollar question remains: when?

Bachpan to gaya, jawani bhi gayi

Ek pal to humein, ab jeene do jeene do

An Open Letter to Life

2010-01-04T20:52:00.000-08:00

Dear Life

You have amazed me often and you continue to do so unabated. I have never been able to unravel you, understand you or fathom all you have. Whenever I have thought that I have you all sorted out, you have come back at me and startled me with your bag of magic tricks.

You remain a mystery to me with its own twists and turns. When I thought nothing will go wrong, I have seen me going downhill; when nearly all was lost I have risen again from nowhere. When looking for a new dawn the dark night has many times prolonged and when bracing for trouble unexpected glory has been bestowed.

I know I have been guilty of taking you for granted and have never given you the accolades you so richly deserve. Also I have only looked at your faults and ignored your goodness, which you have been so selfless to share with me. I also know the cribbing about faults and flaws has been one-sided; you have generously overlooked my anomalies time and again.

You have made me aware that you are not my only accomplice, others’ lives are also intertwined with my own irrespective if I like or not. I have planned my own escape routes many times but then there is your near relative called Destiny who like you has more surprises and shocks up his sleeve. But I must admit that my pursuit here remains relentless and sooner than later I will find my own heaven.

My journey with you has also included many crazy and unimaginable events, which I have only mindlessly initiated. Here I know I often wrongly blame you, after all I will have to bear the consequences of my choices. You have made me conscious, sometimes harshly, that I am only a farmer who is to meant to toil and struggle and will reap only what he sows

I wonder at times if you have been fair to me or not, if you have given me more surprises than asked for, if you have burdened me with too much. But you have always given me what I deserve and never what I desire; and in a way I am thankful to you for it for it has made me realize as to where I have been wrong

But unmindful of the love-hate relationship we share, I have always and always adored you. No matter what you have done to me you have never, I repeat never, denied me hope for which I am grateful and always shone the light at the end of tunnel, though many times it has turned out to be only an illusion. I don’t know how longer you will entertain me and when our incredible voyage will end but I must whole heartedly thank you for all you have done, all you have been and all you have stood for

Love you always
Pesto Sauce

Why 2009 has been a better year for me

2009-12-30T21:43:00.000-08:00

*I was free from much of the mental irritation which had dogged me for the past couple of years. Believe me it was frustrating to live in a dysfunctional family and my constant efforts to look for a job away not bearing any fruit. Those days there were plenty of jobs around unlike today, hence my inability to hit jackpot was all the more painful. Moreso agony gets aggravated when you are surrounded by irrational souls and unable to get away. Gratefully 2009 saw some remission in these challenges and I was somehow able to maintain sanity. Also the coming year holds promise with the promised assignment in Muscat which I hope and pray fructifies

*2009 was perhaps the only year when I have not been on a job hunt or for that matter not even appeared for any interview. Thanks to the economy saving my skin was a prime achievement in a year which saw scores of folks my age and experience lose their livelihood. The global crisis has been nothing short of a catastrophe which thankfully did not escalate into anything more monstrous and appears to have been somewhat contained by now

*Of all the factors, what made 2009 better for me were the active pursuits I was involved in outside work. Toastmasters has indeed helped me learn and grow; flowering me into not only a better speaker but a more confident persona. Though it started as a weekend getaway but soon I was involved at a much deeper level and not to forget the innumerable friends and acquaintances I developed along

*2009 was also special for me as it saw me losing my virginity. Although it was a paid service but the thrill of venturing out and actually doing it was truly adventurous. In hindsight I don’t know if what I did was right or not, but now I have released that sex is more of want which cannot be denied and something inside will always crave and desire for that fulfillment. Also perhaps I should have shelled out more and afforded the sexy airhostess than settle for that yucky stinky chick

*Last but not least this blog has been a true companion for me this year. The unknown and some anonymous friends that I made here, whom perhaps I will never meet, have been a real solid moral and emotional support for me. I fail to recall anyone or anything else which has seen me through the crests and troughs like you all and always stood by me ignoring my stupid idiosyncrasies so stoically.

3 Idiots of my life

2009-12-27T22:51:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend I caught a late night show of 3 Idiots at a nearby mall. I will not review the film here; suffice to say it is the most awesome film I have seen since Dil Chahta Hain. However after watching the film and relishing the college camaraderie depicted therein, it reminded me of the 3 Idiots in my college life. These three idiots were as dissimilar and diverse as Madonna and Mayawati, but sure I did have one hell of a time with them during those memorable years

The first Idiot, and my best friend, was a muscular Muslim guy and the most hilarious person I have met till date. Though he pulled down my pants often, irrespective of my like or dislike, but mind you I have never laughed as heartily with anyone else ever. He was a typical langotiya yaar, with whom one shared all stupidities of college life inside and outside campus and indulged in all non-sense behavior. I don’t recall anyone with whom I have shared my life so deeply and dearly as with this Idiot. He also had a sardarni girl friend; which was all the more interesring for the conflicts between his girlfriend’s devilish mother and him can become the subject matter of another blog.

The second Idiot was the quietest guy you can ever imagine. He was often referred to as a depressed soul, for he detested color and effervescence like anything preferring his own world of eternal staring into oblivion. Though in his heart he lusted for the bombshell chicks around, but he always retained his lifeless existence and never came out of his khadi loving world. After college he joined JNU, which was his perfect calling for it allowed him to live his dream life of a jhola clad research scholar. Last heard he was with National Security team in PM office!

The third Idiot was a character you can only find in comics and films, though I found him on the next bench. He was a Tam Brahm with oiled hair and wore shirts resembling Rajesh Khanna/Rajendra Kumar 70s films. The simplest guy ever possible, he never hung around in college and was a devoted violin player. Visiting his home reminded of old 50s era; the toilet in their government quarter had an Indian flush with only a drum of water for help. Sharman Joshi’s black and white home in the 3 Idiots film actually resembled his abode, complete with broken fans and dingy ambience.

Staying with them perhaps I was the biggest idiot, trying to find my feet and make sense of all that was happening around. However I must unabashedly admit that I indeed had the most unforgettable time of my life with them; the incredible tales I can recount will beat even the Chetan Bhagat novel. After all it is friends and the experiences one goes through together that make life, life

Muscat Calling

2009-12-25T05:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I did receive the e-mail I was waiting for a long time; it was the offer letter from the firm based in Dubai. It was indeed a long and suspenseful wait, with my fears of many a slip between cup and the lip bothering me no end. I was interviewed in the beginning of the month and promised an offer then, but then it took three weeks more for the mail to come. Part of the delay was because my interviewer was vacationing in India and partly because job offers do not roll out that easily these days, due to the cautious outlook maintained by recession ravaged firms. Any how I am a lot relieved now, though upon calling them I learnt that my joining will take some time now, maybe February looks realistic. I also learnt that I will be based in Muscat, which I have heard to be a livable city, as this firm is looking to expand in other areas of Gulf what with UAE/Dubai being in slippery waters now.

I had been looking for a good international assignment for a long time and this one does indeed look promising. When I was completing my academics it was amply clear to me that I wanted to be in a Civil Service and if that was not to be, then work abroad with corporations. And moreover my dreadful condition for past three years has been such that only being away from home could emancipate me from the sheltered and restricted environs here. Also international assignments do pay handsomely and give an opportunity to build your own castle and be your own Sultan, something not possible in India where grown ups are also treated like kids.

I am too excited now and also cautious as I am yet to share this with anyone at home or office. It helps that no one at my place has an inkling of my getting this offer and I plan to keep it shrouded for long more so from Monster Mom. I honestly am scared of those silent curses driven by fears of younger son abandoning in old age, forgetting that he too is human and craves for his share of freedom. I am aware that life in Muscat will be lacking the material comforts of home but I will also gain a lot by way of exposure and experience, which I so dearly need

As the week starts after holiday break, I have my plate full of things to do. First my Passport has to be renewed though it has many months before it expires but want to complete this before departure. Plus my packing and things to buy list has to take off. I do not have any friends or relatives in Muscat, so a new city and a new country is going to be a challenge after all. As one of my favorite blogger recently wrote, life now has hope with a capital H and I am looking forward to it. I know that in all this experience and my journey to a new place my only true companion is going to be this URL and those visiting this space, whom I value so much

A good evening out

2009-12-20T04:20:00.000-08:00

Last evening I was invited to a party by an acquaintance at her place. Although I am not much of a party animal and mostly prefer company of my laptop and blogs over these hang-outs and get-togethers, but I never turn down the few invites that come my way. This gathering was at the posh residence of an affluent family, which was complete with a pool and well connected with lifts. A live band was organized in the sprawling lawn, with all gathered hobnobbing round the bonfire

What was special about this gathering and left some memories were the gentry invited. First I met a Turkish tycoon, who was planning a New Year bash with exotic belly dancers. His wife appeared bored with life but on further enquiry I learnt she was running a rather successful business in Delhi and Gurgaon. She did show interest in me and I too empathized with her, boring and comfortable lives are not too tough to comprehend for me now. Next I met a color consultant, who was so flirty that at times I didn’t know where to look. But I must admit she had a nice cleavage with proper circles and a sporty husband who didn’t mind her rubbing noses with younger men. Next was a Swedish lady working for some stupid project in India but appeared enthralled with India and its mystic beauty. I did not converse much with her, three large Chivas Regal were taking their toll on me by then. There were also other pretty females around, all impressively dressed in exotic attires and on further introductions learnt of them pursuing interesting professions from playing golf to tea tasting. I started missing my cigarettes later, I yearn to puff around when on a high and some females around were smoking cigars, adding to my misery

One chick I met later started recounting her childhood tales and hostel stories. She mentioned of life in DPS hostel, when most of her dorm mates were exploring snorting grass. I wanted her to go on further, girls hostels are notorious places after all. Not that boys are less innocent, but those deprived more try to break free all the more. So right from group shags to lesbo make-outs to adam teasing, sab hota hain wahan

The party ended on time and I was dropped back safely. Though I caught sleep at a reasonable hour, the hangover from the high night still persists

My workplace sucks

2009-12-18T03:20:00.000-08:00

The place I work is so dull and dreary with no excitement around that sometimes it becomes hard to believe I am actually in the glitzy Gurgaon and not a remote Indian city. This firm may be one of the largest corporations, but it does little to shed its old fashioned, old economy image and still retains its Second World War outlook. Not ready to believe, read on…

*Not allowed to hang around – employees are expected to stick to their workstations and not loiter around. Even tea and coffee breaks are not allowed beyond the time taken to fetch the cup, which is to be strictly consumed at your desk only. I feel so envious when I see employees of call centers hang around and the frequent smoke breaks they enjoy.

*No parties – expecting an office party in my workplace is like expecting snowfall in a desert, it will never happen no matter how hard you try or pray. The only event we have in the entire year is a stupid annual day, scheduled tomorrow, which is like a village fete. Thankfully since last year some members of my team have staged successful after-office escapades to Buzz, a nearby pub

*Very less females – any place becomes vibrant with good sprinkling of fairer sex and their display of fairness and sex. My firm has hardly any females and the few present are also condemn maal, perhaps refugees from Zaire. The place is so conservative that a secretary hired last year found her smoking in office to be totally unacceptable and vulgar

*Old and aged workforce – many times it feels as if I am in an old-age home with so many white hairs and aging folks around. Infact at times office chats veer to children, their school, homework and pain of in-laws. Phew

*No freebies – I strongly despise employees who work in firms giving perks to motivate their personnel, for in my place nothing except tea and coffee is free. Infact the cafeteria can be accessed only during lunch hours

However the good aspect is that in this dark recession I still have a good boss though that does not decrease my cribbing. I only hope to get away soon to a real corporate environ

Whom do you sleep with?

2009-12-13T21:59:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend I had my Uncle visiting from Canada, which meant I had to vacate my room for him and sleep two nights in a different room and also in a different bed. Now I did not realize how intimate and personal your bed can be and how much it can be a part of your life, loneliness and fantasies until I wandered somewhere else. After all your bed is your personal space where you relax, sleep, dream, procrastinate and shag

On both the mornings after waking up, I found myself looking at the adjacent vacant bed as if expecting to find someone there. I know it is a heady feeling to sleep with someone, make love in the night, say sweet nothings in morning, the rubbing of the skin, twinkle in the eyes, sharing of dreams, later on looking for lost panties, expressions acknowledging the night and promising a better one next time around. Also its adds to the effect if you talk out what you like doing, preferred way of undressing, eyes looking big and staring in your face when kissing from top and also the efforts from both sides to increase, intensify and prolong the ecstasy

It is not the first time that I have longed for another body and soul to sleep with. While touring and staying in those posh hotels, often I have felt absence of a companion. Many times I have slept nude relishing the soft touch of satin sheets and rubbing of my nude body all over. I enjoy being nude at times, after all it is the most original form without any put-on pretence; I have been nude mostly when I am away and alone, all by myself and in my own world. During hostel days too, I used to be nude along with others for the group shags we had and if they did not work out, then impending make-out sessions

Exploring your body is not very different form exploring your mind. The way our mind seeks another mind that can understand it better and give it comfort, our body too wants another one to care, share and love. The touch, feel and the accompanying tingling sensations are unmatched fodder for the physical being and makes one complete the way nothing else can. Almighty may grant all your wishes but it is only a female who can fulfill those ultimate desires

Perhaps our body and night also determine our mind and day. The day usually follows the rigmarole of coming to work and carrying on with stuff as usual, except evenings which can be exciting at times; but it is how our body spends the night that makes the day more pleasing and of course, the night looked forward to

I know I am sounding a bit too that today, but why not after all its my 100th post

So Near Yet So Far

2009-12-09T00:37:00.000-08:00

I often wonder what makes successful people what they are and why success eludes so many more who are no less deserving. All contenders start equal but some edge out others every time, leaving them resigned to their fate. How many times has it happened that final destination seems only a stone’s throw away and then recedes beyond reach? How frequently does it happen that so much has been achieved yet the final hurdle remains uncrossed?

In my life there are many jinxes who have done their bit time and again; and the much sought elixir has proved beyond reach but not before showing a lot of promise. During school days I used to do well in most quiz competitions and always lead in initial rounds but would invariably come second in the end. In later life too I continued to be an under-achiever and at times I feel my life is like India-Pak cricket match, where India would always play better but Pakistan perpetually snatched victory in the end

Last evening I had one of my recent acquaintances drop in and we chanted and prayed for a good time, post which I initiated a debate on why we tend to lose all after gaining so much. Why there are so many jinxes who plague our existence and rear their ugly head ever so often, depriving of well deserved success? Perhaps it is the law of cause and effect which acts in its own mystical manner and whose presence we all concur sub-consciously though may not accept explicitly. I honestly believe there are no coincidences in life, after all whatever goes around comes around.

Seeing the Holy Grail slip by so often makes me scared of success at times, for it appears to be a hazy illusion only to fade away later. I agree that there are and there will always be hurdles in every endeavor but sadly some remain insurmountable for a select few. You know it pains to lose, but it’s more agonizing to lose after coming so close

At times I am afraid that will story of my life always remain: so near yet so far

Bold and brash: a potent pull

2009-12-06T21:31:00.000-08:00

Delhi Times of this Sunday carried a picture of Sushmita Sen on front page corner, anointed on top of her recent boyfriend who was carrying her through sea waters. It carried a caption that Sushmita did not want to get wet, so her boyfriend was carrying her on his shoulders. Now Sushmita is one female I really adore and admire, for she has really lived life on her own terms, which is all the more appreciable considering her middle class background. She won the Universe (literally) at age 18, her final answer – a woman is a person who teaches a man what loving, caring and sharing is all about – reflected a maturity beyond her years. Her foray into films may not have been as successful as others but she is still looked upon with admiration.

Significantly it’s her personal life which is worth emulating, for she has used and thrown men without much ado. Unlike other actresses who have been through unnecessary gossip, Sushmita maintains her own place and it is her men who are ditched and not the other way round. True she must have slept with many around, but she has never been into prostitution. Also she continues to be sexually attractive though off late she looks somewhat broader than required and wrinkles have appeared on face.

Also Sushmita is one of the few actresses who smokes openly and has never denied her nicotine addiction. In a country where female smokers are still frowned upon and only in select metros women can puff openly, Sush deserves kudos for her open admission. Even in Delhi – where Sushmita hails from, it is only in select hangouts, offices, schools and colleges that girls light up without fear.

Perhaps it is the boldness, confidence and independence which make females like Sushmita attractive. Men who have come into her life and who will follow later know she is not for keeps, but then her attraction is also irresistible. Men mostly fall for the passion and heat in females, but when it combines with intelligence and independence a truly deadly cocktail results which makes many forget the consequences before taking the plunge. After all everyone wants to have a share of chocolate pie, no matter if the taste may not last long

I guess it is the physicality of women which primarily lures men; the treasure of pleasure is after all tough to ignore, but ultimately it is the boldness and brashness which constitutes a potent pull

Destined to Doom?

2009-12-02T03:06:00.000-08:00

Last week I received an unexpected call from Dubai; it was from the same firm which had offered me employment last year only to withdraw it later at last minute, just days before departure, leaving me high and dry. That time I was totally heartbroken, but they had promised to reconsider me again once the global crisis subsides. Now with economy on the bend, the call thrilled me no end and after one year of long wait was all the more sweet. This firm is one of the leading retail electronic chains in the Gulf and the position on offer this time is based out of Muscat. I was told to meet their HR head travelling to Delhi next week and inshallah I will be with them soon. What was ironical was that this call came on same day and same time as last year, when the dirty call withdrawing the offer had come

After receiving this call my joy and happiness knew no bounds, for a year of hope and perseverance had finally paid off; but I did not know bad and unexpected news lurks around the corner. On Friday morning I glanced at the news papers in office mentioning Dubai debt crisis and I smelled trouble. The next day’s headlines screamed of Dubai sinking and I knew my dreams were in danger. As the crisis intensified I too had a sinking feeling and the uncertainty gripping the Gulf started engulfing me as well

By Monday I was in such a stinking foul mood that I felt like smashing window panes and actually drinking someone’s blood. I was cautious that I should not irk anybody around for I could have really killed someone that day. Why does it happen with me that whenever a good career prospect comes either Wall Street crashes or Dubai goes into tailspin? For the past three years I have dreamt of living alone in a big city, have my own friends, get my first girlfriend, enjoy life on my own but this fucking fluctuating global economy has time and again put paid to my hopes

Last year I could not sleep well for three days after the debacle and it is very painful this time too, to see the ecstasy prolonged for happen and in next few days inexplicably turn to agony. Imagine you have waited for one call for an entire year and when finally you do receive that call, the entire thrill gets shaken if not shattered in next couple of days by a totally unforeseen eventuality. I met their HR honcho yesterday and they have promised me again a good offer with joining in January, but never know if globally things may change till then. Before leaving I asked if Dubai crisis will have any impact on them, which was brushed off as a non-matter the same way they had done last year, as if Lehman collapse will have no effect whatsoever.

I sometimes wonder if I should reconcile to my fate and my job and believe that things better are not made for me; for even if I do get something, unexpected forces will wean it away? Or maybe perhaps my destiny is to never fly high and continue with my meager earning. As of now I have decided to wait till January and watch things closely and only then decide if the promised Eden does happen or am I always destined to doom?