With some of my blogpals now contemplating arranged marriage, it may be helpful if I show the way around a path I have been attempting to traverse for some time now. Finding a right match for yourself is never easy, saying No is even tougher and being confident about your choice is the toughest. Scouting around though is not hard in this internet age, you can always use this very machine you are reading this from; logging on to matri-sites does give a lot of interesting and hitherto unknown options some of which can leave one baffled and puzzled. However it should be kept in mind that writing about one self to attract right life partner is tricky and many present their garden with different shades of roses and thorns
Juhi Chawla types
“I am a simple loving caring and giving girl and these are the qualities I look forward in my life partner also. He should be honest sincere and understanding, in short someone who can keep me happy and treats my parents the way he treats his.”
Don’t know why but this reminds me of Juhi and her innocent charm
Khadoos baap types
“Our daughter is right blend of tradition and modernity. She is homely, respectful and hardworking; does not have any show-offs and is emotionally content. Convent educated with a B Sc in Nutrition and diploma in hygiene, now working in a big company. Boy should be decent without any bad habits”
If above was Juhi then his must be her father from Hum Hain Raahi Pyaar kein…
Fun types
“Can dance at night, recite Shantaram from page 1 and enjoy going out. I am a very fun loving person who can give anyone good company. My hobbies include dancing, painting, singing…….My family and friends mean the world and I can’t live without them nor can they be happy without me. I am looking for someone who can be a part of me and expect all he wants in return.”
You seen Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na….Genelia D’Souza anyone?
Air India types
“Namaste! I am Khushbu presently working as a customer care executive in a reputed firm in Noida. I have completed MCA from Noida and currently pursuing MBA from Pune. My friends describe me as fun and confident”
Reading this reminds me of Air India welcome “Namashkar Air India ke vimman main aap ka swagat hain. Kuchh hi der main hamara vimaan Dilli ke liye rawana hoga, aasha hain ki aapki yatra mangal may ho. Dhanywaad”
Practical types
“Looking for someone who can understand me and be a support in all my ups and downs. If you feel you can support and respect a person and not feel jealous of anyone’s success then contact me. Those who want just a doormat as wife stay away”
Reading this you can imagine her in bespectacled frame and no-nonsense look
In middle of all varieties I am as confused as a kid when asked to chose between kebabs, dosa or omelets – they are all so different and can’t be sure if it will be as per your taste or liking.
Lastly I am not sure if arranged marriages are only for convenience, may be a bit like Abhishek- Aishwarya who look so loveless and look miles apart as if strangely put together
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Content
You know you are leading a content life when
•You can afford to get up late everyday because you don’t have to drive to office which is at a stone’s throw from your door
•In office you have a corner seat where you can surf with no one watching the hidden monitor
•You enjoy your work and are grateful to be working here
•If you don’t have much work in office you can do what you like which these days includes planning a holiday in Europe
•Slowly your thoughts ponder to planning for a bright future rather than grimace about morbid past
•You get to booze with friends a lot and if that’s not happening visit cabaret bars on weekends
•You have been watching so many movies off late that hardly a weekend goes without hitting nearby cinema hall
•Your old buddy tells you that you look much relaxed in latest snaps than the grave expression you always carried in India
•You have not planned your next trip to India because you like this city and what it has offered you
•You look at your bank balance and are thankful to atlast have risen above earlier penury
•You are so relaxed these days that can’t think of a topic to blog!
•You can afford to get up late everyday because you don’t have to drive to office which is at a stone’s throw from your door
•In office you have a corner seat where you can surf with no one watching the hidden monitor
•You enjoy your work and are grateful to be working here
•If you don’t have much work in office you can do what you like which these days includes planning a holiday in Europe
•Slowly your thoughts ponder to planning for a bright future rather than grimace about morbid past
•You get to booze with friends a lot and if that’s not happening visit cabaret bars on weekends
•You have been watching so many movies off late that hardly a weekend goes without hitting nearby cinema hall
•Your old buddy tells you that you look much relaxed in latest snaps than the grave expression you always carried in India
•You have not planned your next trip to India because you like this city and what it has offered you
•You look at your bank balance and are thankful to atlast have risen above earlier penury
•You are so relaxed these days that can’t think of a topic to blog!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Who knows thou?
One of the reasons bloggers remain anonymous is because it allows a greater freedom of expression; there is no fear of being judged or being caught with your pants down. Anonymous blogging does allow one to let go and not hold back, infact it leads to self-discovery and individual identity in ways more complex than simple. It is not as if anonymous bloggers get away with murder or remain beyond law simply because they are unrecognizable, it just gives them a veil which removes fear of being judged to some extent; I add emphasis to some here because I know one blogger who is unwilling to be too candid even in comments section lest she be judged although she is anonymous!
There is a widespread misgiving that anonymous blogging allows one to do or rather write mischievous stuff which may not have been possible under real name; I agree to this to some extent but being anonymous also allows an unhindered expression of hidden self thereby resulting in a free flow of words and emotions; can anyone blog about his loneliness, desires, broken relationships etc under real name? Some people do and I commend their bravery but imagine meeting a sweet smiling face with no apparent traces of corruption visible, but a quick search on Google will soon spill the hidden secrets behind the camouflaged smile; nobody wants to be there for whatever it may be worth
However remaining anonymous does not deprive one of any blogging joys that real name bloggers may enjoy, infact every blogger has an own support group who understands the real person, no matter if real name is not known. Blogging does give a shoulder to cry, a place to rest and solace to the despised; I for one can vouch with both my hands up that my blog is my best friend for I share secrets, rejoice and cry with it like I do nowhere else even if it doesn’t know my odd sounding name
A major criminal forcing some bloggers to hide their real identity is Google baba. I used to write a blog way back in 2004 under my real name but the blog died prematurely as unknown people soon started knowing less known stuff about me; infact I gave up expressing on WWW altogether since dirty curiosity had now become everyone’s favorite pastime. I recall at about same time that I was attempting to blog Indiatimes ran a contest wherein readers had to write about their first sexual experience and like a fool I wrote in from my real name e-mail ID. Soon I started receiving gay proposals and requests for gay encounters, some were even willing to pay! Years later that write-up still showed on my real name Google search, a major cause for my remaining edgy in all job interviews
Lastly remaining anonymous is not a license to sin, it is only a convenient mode to express without guilt. Blogging is about being free and unleashing the hidden character uninhibitedly, it is very less to do with real name; after all whats in a name?
There is a widespread misgiving that anonymous blogging allows one to do or rather write mischievous stuff which may not have been possible under real name; I agree to this to some extent but being anonymous also allows an unhindered expression of hidden self thereby resulting in a free flow of words and emotions; can anyone blog about his loneliness, desires, broken relationships etc under real name? Some people do and I commend their bravery but imagine meeting a sweet smiling face with no apparent traces of corruption visible, but a quick search on Google will soon spill the hidden secrets behind the camouflaged smile; nobody wants to be there for whatever it may be worth
However remaining anonymous does not deprive one of any blogging joys that real name bloggers may enjoy, infact every blogger has an own support group who understands the real person, no matter if real name is not known. Blogging does give a shoulder to cry, a place to rest and solace to the despised; I for one can vouch with both my hands up that my blog is my best friend for I share secrets, rejoice and cry with it like I do nowhere else even if it doesn’t know my odd sounding name
A major criminal forcing some bloggers to hide their real identity is Google baba. I used to write a blog way back in 2004 under my real name but the blog died prematurely as unknown people soon started knowing less known stuff about me; infact I gave up expressing on WWW altogether since dirty curiosity had now become everyone’s favorite pastime. I recall at about same time that I was attempting to blog Indiatimes ran a contest wherein readers had to write about their first sexual experience and like a fool I wrote in from my real name e-mail ID. Soon I started receiving gay proposals and requests for gay encounters, some were even willing to pay! Years later that write-up still showed on my real name Google search, a major cause for my remaining edgy in all job interviews
Lastly remaining anonymous is not a license to sin, it is only a convenient mode to express without guilt. Blogging is about being free and unleashing the hidden character uninhibitedly, it is very less to do with real name; after all whats in a name?
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Mood swings
I am not sure if there is a male version of PMS or if any hormonal changes take place with change of season but I have been climbing up and down mood elevator once too often for past some days
*Holiday in Swiss Alps – planning a holiday in Switzerland is a guaranteed mood elevator; no matter if you can travel or not only the planning of what you will do in Zurich or Interlaken is enough to give you a spring. Only thing do not go too much into the cost aspect or try discovering hidden costs in fancy tours, which can be a real spoiler. Just sit back and plan, you will be surprised to find yourself in orbit for sometime
*Good appraisal brought down – now we all crave appreciation at work and I was delighted to find good words about me in my appraisal form. Being my first year in this job I was delighted to be recognized; however superbosses in Head Office had other plans and brought down my rating in name of moderation. Now that royally sucks
*Old college pal tying the knot and reminiscing old days – always good to exchange mails with old chums especially if they have been with you through the most exciting days. I was happy for my friend tying the knot and sending me pics; only wish those carefree days could last a little longer
*Morbid thoughts on marriage – deciding to getting married is like buying an expensive lottery ticket, you see only a handful winning and smiling while majority lose out, only extent of loss and despair vary though all had bought lottery tickets with some dreams and plans. Off late I have really been thinking is marriage so essential?
*Best buddy may not come – I had been planning which cabaret bars to visit and which booze to buy when my close buddy comes calling but now it seems Muscat may not be in his tour diary. There was so much to talk, holidays to plan but that will have to wait for sometime
*Landlord leaving – lastly you come home after a hard moody day at office and last thing you need is a house vacate notice! My landlord has made up his mind to return to India and soon I may be on the road; I had moved in only recently and was on the moon to get such a well furnished comfortable place dirt cheap but I guess someone up there is keeping a watch on my happiness and never allows it to go too high, pulling the rug at most inopportune moments
*Holiday in Swiss Alps – planning a holiday in Switzerland is a guaranteed mood elevator; no matter if you can travel or not only the planning of what you will do in Zurich or Interlaken is enough to give you a spring. Only thing do not go too much into the cost aspect or try discovering hidden costs in fancy tours, which can be a real spoiler. Just sit back and plan, you will be surprised to find yourself in orbit for sometime
*Good appraisal brought down – now we all crave appreciation at work and I was delighted to find good words about me in my appraisal form. Being my first year in this job I was delighted to be recognized; however superbosses in Head Office had other plans and brought down my rating in name of moderation. Now that royally sucks
*Old college pal tying the knot and reminiscing old days – always good to exchange mails with old chums especially if they have been with you through the most exciting days. I was happy for my friend tying the knot and sending me pics; only wish those carefree days could last a little longer
*Morbid thoughts on marriage – deciding to getting married is like buying an expensive lottery ticket, you see only a handful winning and smiling while majority lose out, only extent of loss and despair vary though all had bought lottery tickets with some dreams and plans. Off late I have really been thinking is marriage so essential?
*Best buddy may not come – I had been planning which cabaret bars to visit and which booze to buy when my close buddy comes calling but now it seems Muscat may not be in his tour diary. There was so much to talk, holidays to plan but that will have to wait for sometime
*Landlord leaving – lastly you come home after a hard moody day at office and last thing you need is a house vacate notice! My landlord has made up his mind to return to India and soon I may be on the road; I had moved in only recently and was on the moon to get such a well furnished comfortable place dirt cheap but I guess someone up there is keeping a watch on my happiness and never allows it to go too high, pulling the rug at most inopportune moments
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Muscat I love you
There is an old practice of introducing a new chicken to a farm when all other chickens are asleep. When other chickens wake up they mistake the new chicken to be one of their flock and treat the new entrant as if it had been a part of them for long, seeing the bonhomie the new chicken also forgets that he is new here; my initiation into Muscat, exactly one year back, was also something very similar
It was with a mix of emotions on this day last year that I took a flight out of India and stepped into this new country unsure of what awaits me; I was not at all confident if I would be able to survive here let alone thrive and armed only with courage and fortitude I had no choice but to make a success of my stay here battling all odds.
I vividly remember the first few days of my new life discovering Muscat and its people; it all seemed so familiar that I now think I always belonged here. Looking back I guess within a fortnight of landing I was all at home and knew living here would never be tough, infact it has turned out to be much more comfortable than imagined. As the days passed by I surprisingly discovered more about myself than the new place. First I can live alone or rather live better when alone; second I seek and enjoy company of like minded folks but doesn’t mean I can’t survive with others; and lastly the basics of myself will remain same irrespective of where I stay and I mean this in a positive way
It is amazing the kind of relief a long desired dawn can bring, more so if it happens after an agonizingly long wait. Now it seems the long wait for Visa was worth it; I have found my feet here and am grateful to be away from all the ills that had dogged my life before I came here. However when I say that I am enjoying myself here it doesn’t mean I have painted the town red, this city is a bit lifeless still I am thankful to be here for many characteristics of Muscat match with my personality – well organized with all elements present in balance, not too loud, free and liberal lifestyle, absolutely unchaotic though slightly sleepy and an under running underbelly with all dark deeds happening in darkness keeping many unaware.
Oh in the middle of all this I should not forget that I also got a bit of romance and flirting, it was so much fun when it was going strong; sadly this has gone on a bit of back burner off late with the chick getting a new job but there is always hope
As I conclude first year of my new life, I sincerely wish that it stays with me for long; it has taken a good time to arrive and it is only fair that it should not leave or disappear in a hurry. I look forward to seeing more raunchy dances in cabaret bars, more boozing with pals, a holiday in Europe, recognition in my job and maybe a new chick who is a bit more uninhibited…but more importantly I now look forward to life with hope, enthusiasm and anticipation
It was with a mix of emotions on this day last year that I took a flight out of India and stepped into this new country unsure of what awaits me; I was not at all confident if I would be able to survive here let alone thrive and armed only with courage and fortitude I had no choice but to make a success of my stay here battling all odds.
I vividly remember the first few days of my new life discovering Muscat and its people; it all seemed so familiar that I now think I always belonged here. Looking back I guess within a fortnight of landing I was all at home and knew living here would never be tough, infact it has turned out to be much more comfortable than imagined. As the days passed by I surprisingly discovered more about myself than the new place. First I can live alone or rather live better when alone; second I seek and enjoy company of like minded folks but doesn’t mean I can’t survive with others; and lastly the basics of myself will remain same irrespective of where I stay and I mean this in a positive way
It is amazing the kind of relief a long desired dawn can bring, more so if it happens after an agonizingly long wait. Now it seems the long wait for Visa was worth it; I have found my feet here and am grateful to be away from all the ills that had dogged my life before I came here. However when I say that I am enjoying myself here it doesn’t mean I have painted the town red, this city is a bit lifeless still I am thankful to be here for many characteristics of Muscat match with my personality – well organized with all elements present in balance, not too loud, free and liberal lifestyle, absolutely unchaotic though slightly sleepy and an under running underbelly with all dark deeds happening in darkness keeping many unaware.
Oh in the middle of all this I should not forget that I also got a bit of romance and flirting, it was so much fun when it was going strong; sadly this has gone on a bit of back burner off late with the chick getting a new job but there is always hope
As I conclude first year of my new life, I sincerely wish that it stays with me for long; it has taken a good time to arrive and it is only fair that it should not leave or disappear in a hurry. I look forward to seeing more raunchy dances in cabaret bars, more boozing with pals, a holiday in Europe, recognition in my job and maybe a new chick who is a bit more uninhibited…but more importantly I now look forward to life with hope, enthusiasm and anticipation
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Its love that matters
Yesterday morning I woke up in a foul and grumpy mood, which is not too unusual for someone trying to wipe out scars of a suppressive past and afraid to face the predicted acrimonious future. While getting ready for office and bathing under the shower dark thoughts of morbid past kept cropping up and my perpetual insecurity of having a future as joyless as some days in past kept raising its ugly head time and again. Thankfully when I moved into office I had a lot of work in store and being an HR guy many employee issues had to be sorted; while I was banging my head with some irate employees deep down I was also thankful that at least I have some respite from dealing with my own demons, work pressure is peanuts if you have dealt with depression ever, maybe not depression per se but that aloofness arising from uneasy relations.
By afternoon I was again about to slip into that dreaded sad and melancholic state, when I received a reply to my earlier e-mail from an old buddy. Now this guy was my colleague and langotiya yaar from previous job, who is now relocating to a nearby place in this part of the world from Bangalore. Seeing his mail made me jump with joy and after more exchange of mails, we started preparing our holiday plans; doesn’t matter if the holidays are still six months away. The first plan was for a suggested vacation in Seattle where we have another buddy; I called up US embassy here in Muscat but the long drawn Visa process and huge costs punctured my mood, now why on earth does this country have to have such Visa procedures even for a short visit! Next on line was London, but this guy has been there couple of times before so not sure if he would be game. I checked few other destinations in Europe, all too glamorous and expensive but c’mon this is going to be a real vacation, and for someone who has never been to West, a bit of cost should be okay. We ultimately decided that if nothing works out we will make a dash to Istanbul, cheap and nearby; so yours truly may (a big may that is) fly out in August
What was remarkable for me was that after back and forth exchange of these mails and the exciting travel plans being drawn up, my despair of morning had totally evaporated. After those two hours of frantic mail exchange post lunch and my promise to my buddy to show him cabaret bars around and our plans to raid some exotic international locale, I was so cheerful and excited that I myself was surprised. What had changed so soon was perhaps abhorrence and resentment giving way to fondness and liking; I am fond of my friend hence elated at the prospect of an exciting bachelor vacation, I despise some left behind folks so have been avoiding my visit to India though its due now
In life nothing matters as much as love; I love my buddy hence dance at his impending visit and the good times we are bound to share, I do not love some other folks so much whom I end up cursing. Its love that matters, rest all is worthless
By afternoon I was again about to slip into that dreaded sad and melancholic state, when I received a reply to my earlier e-mail from an old buddy. Now this guy was my colleague and langotiya yaar from previous job, who is now relocating to a nearby place in this part of the world from Bangalore. Seeing his mail made me jump with joy and after more exchange of mails, we started preparing our holiday plans; doesn’t matter if the holidays are still six months away. The first plan was for a suggested vacation in Seattle where we have another buddy; I called up US embassy here in Muscat but the long drawn Visa process and huge costs punctured my mood, now why on earth does this country have to have such Visa procedures even for a short visit! Next on line was London, but this guy has been there couple of times before so not sure if he would be game. I checked few other destinations in Europe, all too glamorous and expensive but c’mon this is going to be a real vacation, and for someone who has never been to West, a bit of cost should be okay. We ultimately decided that if nothing works out we will make a dash to Istanbul, cheap and nearby; so yours truly may (a big may that is) fly out in August
What was remarkable for me was that after back and forth exchange of these mails and the exciting travel plans being drawn up, my despair of morning had totally evaporated. After those two hours of frantic mail exchange post lunch and my promise to my buddy to show him cabaret bars around and our plans to raid some exotic international locale, I was so cheerful and excited that I myself was surprised. What had changed so soon was perhaps abhorrence and resentment giving way to fondness and liking; I am fond of my friend hence elated at the prospect of an exciting bachelor vacation, I despise some left behind folks so have been avoiding my visit to India though its due now
In life nothing matters as much as love; I love my buddy hence dance at his impending visit and the good times we are bound to share, I do not love some other folks so much whom I end up cursing. Its love that matters, rest all is worthless
Sunday, April 3, 2011
10 things to learn from Dhoni
1.Inspire self- belief – this win would not have been possible had the leader not inspired; all world champion teams have been led by inspirational captains like Kapil, Imran, Border and Waugh
2.Take bold decisions and back them – leadership is all about taking decisions and backing them. Dropping Ashwin and bringing back Nehra in a high pressure game was indeed bold but it paid off
3.Mask your emotions – I have never seen Dhoni go hyper on field or vent out emotions; even after lifting the Cup his face was calm. This counts a lot in tense moments with billion eyes watching you
4.If you show confidence in your folks, chances are they will deliver – some years back Sehwag was dropped for a final in Australia and instead Praveen Kumar was picked. Praveen responded by picking four wickets
5.Admit mistakes – not many captains would have admitted giving last over to Nehra was a bad call but this guy did
6.Never mix personal and professional life – Dhoni could have had flings with actresses or been a party boy like Jadeja or Yuvraj, but he remains a private person. I really admire his marriage, the way no known had a clue about the wedding or the chosen girl
7.Keep your feet on the ground - I never thought that this gawky wicketkeeper with long hair chosen for Bangladesh tour in 2005 would one day be such a big star. But this new age Kapil Dev has never forgotten his small town roots
8.Body language makes lot of difference – right from the time he promoted himself up the order and came out to bat in finals, his body language meant business. Remember Viv Richards and his famous swagger? Many opposing teams lose on field when they see so much confidence
9.Be aware that team is made-up of different characters of which no two are similar – Dhoni has never tried to reign in Sreesanth or Yuvraj, he knows they are different characters and need some antics to perform
10.Lastly dream big and believe in them, one day they will come true – Dhoni is about a month younger to me and like him I too dreamt of India winning the World Cup one day. I am sure like me, Dhoni too would have stood in front of bathroom mirror while growing up and imagined speaking from Lord’s balcony or lifting Sachin on shoulders for a victory lap. Only difference between me and Dhoni is that my dreams broke with the mirror
2.Take bold decisions and back them – leadership is all about taking decisions and backing them. Dropping Ashwin and bringing back Nehra in a high pressure game was indeed bold but it paid off
3.Mask your emotions – I have never seen Dhoni go hyper on field or vent out emotions; even after lifting the Cup his face was calm. This counts a lot in tense moments with billion eyes watching you
4.If you show confidence in your folks, chances are they will deliver – some years back Sehwag was dropped for a final in Australia and instead Praveen Kumar was picked. Praveen responded by picking four wickets
5.Admit mistakes – not many captains would have admitted giving last over to Nehra was a bad call but this guy did
6.Never mix personal and professional life – Dhoni could have had flings with actresses or been a party boy like Jadeja or Yuvraj, but he remains a private person. I really admire his marriage, the way no known had a clue about the wedding or the chosen girl
7.Keep your feet on the ground - I never thought that this gawky wicketkeeper with long hair chosen for Bangladesh tour in 2005 would one day be such a big star. But this new age Kapil Dev has never forgotten his small town roots
8.Body language makes lot of difference – right from the time he promoted himself up the order and came out to bat in finals, his body language meant business. Remember Viv Richards and his famous swagger? Many opposing teams lose on field when they see so much confidence
9.Be aware that team is made-up of different characters of which no two are similar – Dhoni has never tried to reign in Sreesanth or Yuvraj, he knows they are different characters and need some antics to perform
10.Lastly dream big and believe in them, one day they will come true – Dhoni is about a month younger to me and like him I too dreamt of India winning the World Cup one day. I am sure like me, Dhoni too would have stood in front of bathroom mirror while growing up and imagined speaking from Lord’s balcony or lifting Sachin on shoulders for a victory lap. Only difference between me and Dhoni is that my dreams broke with the mirror
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