Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Closure

Some years back when I had watched the forgettable flick Bachna Ae Haseeno my only interest was in watching sizzling Bipasha with not much interest in the dreary storyline. For the uninitiated this film is about a casanova who plays around with females ditching them at last slip till he finds true love, he then realises his folly and goes back to find his old flames to seek their apology; the film dwells upon closure and talks about cleaning the pains of past before charting a new ground. Watching the film at a time when I was grousing about my present and yearning about a better future I could not relate much to what was depicted but now having realized some of my cravings and seeking to open a new chapter of my listless life I have come to realize that its first important to close pains of past and only then can anything new be charted

A couple of weeks back while talking to my folks back home I decided to call my Mom here; it was a decision taken at spur of the moment though certainly not an emotional one. Old readers of my blog are aware of my past tribulations in India before I took the flight here and even after landing here the scars of past did not vanish overnight; I was deeply tormented from within trying to forget my caged past and was seeking to chart a new uninhibited course of my life however three summers later much has changed both within me and also amongst those who matter

First I have to admit my life in Muscat has gone into a rut both personally and professionally. This city is more of a retirement paradise more suited for a staid family life than for a bachelor from a colorful metro and after three years I have got reasonably bored of the mundane and monotonous life this place offers though I am still glad to be away from where I was before coming here. I will be blatantly lying here if I say life here has been colorful and exciting, no point denying the obvious. Also challenges at my workplace seem to be increasing by the day and the past year has been fairly tumultuous to say the least without any signs of abatement in near future. And to add to this my search for a life partner seems to have hit a dead end with no suitable prospect in the offing; all adding up to my present despair

Meanwhile things have changed at the place I gladly left some years back, I now realize time does have healing powers and can fix tormented relationships too. Past few days after returning from office I am glad to see my bachelor pad all spruced and cleaned up looking more like a home and it feels good to know someone is eagerly waiting back home. In the evening of her life and amidst failing health Mom does look content having lived an eventful and largely good life, gone are the domineering days from menopause which left me crushed and abused. I guess in everyone’s life there comes a stage when there is no way left except compromise and the wise ones do realize this soon

In Bachna Ae.. when Ranbir seeks last apology from Bipasha at Airport before leaving she cries silently for sometime cursing him for his deeds but when she puts on her shades and resumes her life, Ranbir knows a painful chapter has been closed after which he flies off to open a new story now fully aware that his past has been cleaned up. I guess its high time I too clear the pain from my past , only then will I find my Deepika