Sunday, August 29, 2010

Hallelujah…its raining girls

How often does it happen that you spot a hot and happening chick somewhere - the sort of girl who makes you alert and conscious, the one who you want to catch often from corner of your eye, the one who can make you blush, give a high – and few days later you receive a marriage proposal for the same girl! Well it has unbelievably happened with me

Few days back I received a response on my profile from one of the matri sites. It was from a family settled in this part of the world for some time who were looking for a suitable match for their US educated daughter. I pinged them on the number given and after a brief chat, set up a rendezvous for yesterday evening. I was picked up from my home at given time and escorted to their workplace where the girl’s parents offered me tea and refreshments thereby initiating a discussion to know more about me, my background, interests etc. This family is indeed well-off and very affluent having been settled in Middle East for ages, also they appeared modern and broad-minded in outlook what with the girl’s Mom dressed in complete western attire. They also seemed happy with my profile and appearance and later informed about their daughter’s upbringing, education, tastes etc. Coming from an affluent family this chick has seen the best of life having studied and worked across the globe though, I do not know how, I did not ask to see her picture. I bid them goodbye soon promising to revert shortly and they too looked happy, promising to set up a meeting with their daughter soon. While dropping me back the chick’s Mom started talking of her daughter’s interests in Buddhism as I too was part of the same; suddenly I recalled that couple of months ago I had spotted a girl at a meeting with the same name, who had instantly made my heart go dhak dhak. I immediately asked for her picture and recognized her as the same bomb. Incredible! I am yet to get over it. Perhaps the only hitch here is that I am a mangalik and this family doesn’t even remember birth details

I also received another response a few days back from a chick based in Delhi. She too is in the same profession as me and interested in my profile. We have exchanged mails with all details though haven’t got around a suitable time to chat. However I haven’t given my full name to her as yet though I have her complete profile. Now upon knowing her name I immediately recognized her as she had been kind of dating my brother sometime back and it will be kind of sacrilegious if she ties up with me! My only brother, ten years elder, is a bit of philanderer with a discontented marriage and always having an eye for colorful and hot stuff; he does like asking girls out and has ostensibly been with this lass as well. I am dumbfounded how to proceed here going by the elaborate mails and a very keen expression of interest I have so far received.

Oh I should not forget here the original babe I have been flirting with for past some weeks. We again met last evening at a gathering and sat next to each other, where both of us tried to touch each other – now this was not the innocent touch but one full of lust and tingling. We did chat with each other trying to look innocent all time so as to not attract attention from old foggies seated around though I believe some did catch our mischief. She volunteered to drop me back where she deliberately took a wrong, longer route so we could have more time to ourselves. Ofcourse we did make the most of time inside the car with some good sexy flirting; we discussed smooches, make-outs and sex, as if we have done that too often. Before dropping she asked me to sleep tight to which I replied I sleep alone and that moment we looked in each other’s eye for a long second. I swear had this city been New York we would have surely kissed on the open street. She later texted me “wud u like me to drop u again” to which I replied “sure maybe much more than just drop”

I am not sure how all three cases here will proceed in time to come but its surely raining girls

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Ah...the joys of flirting

I continue to flirt with the chick mentioned earlier and am making some good progress. Flirting is fun and good for mind, body and soul. I am now discovering that effective flirting has no rules, only requirement is that spine must tingle somewhere, surprises should never cease and for ultimate nirvana no barrier should be left uncrossed. Girls enjoy flirting as much as boys and maybe even more; this chick is surely a veteran at flirting given she messages back very fast and considers no topic taboo when it comes to having a good time; check out the snippets below

Me: u looking hot in that green dress. Keep it up
She: up?? Some1 will have to pull it up…can’t do evryting myself…btw I m in KFC
Me: wah…I too enjying my drink…wanna join
She: bottle not yet over???? U 2 slow…sleep tite
Me: sleeping alone is no fun
Me: my neighbor gal again smiled at me today
She: oh oh oh….development…u waved a hi? Do dat nxt tym u c hr. myt inspire her 2 cm overspk d nxt u c hr
Me: that’s ok but can’t seem to progress
She: talk to her n ask abt weather bt don ask her out
Me: u know I want to take her places….starting from ice cream parlor n ending with motel
She: oh u 2 r sex addict
Me: m a virgin dear, u wanna test it?
She: puhleeeesssee!dat explains why u wanna lose it soon….all d best
Me: I need ur help here…I can’t even put a wire cable in properly, have a bad aim
She: I too am bad at aims, at times the cable only breaks
Me: she again smiled at me 2day
She: u seem to enjoy her….is she special
Me: yeah…she has big ones
She: all guys r same……fascinated by biggies
Me: she has big shoes…..wat were u thinking
Me: am getting bored
She: go get a life…make most of it, go deeper
Me: wat do u mean by deeper?? I m only trying to scratch the surface
She: was jst thinkng abt u….gud things
Me: I 2 was thinking abt u…..gud things I can do wid u

Am not very sure where all this is headed to but believe me this is mindblowing fun

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Can’t believe but something is happening

In my last post I had mentioned about a chick flirting with me preceding week but was not sure if it will be carried forward. When I had first seen her, she looked innocent in her thin frame and glasses but I could not miss the tharak in her eyes. Few evenings back I was surprised to find this girl messaging me, which I promptly returned thereby initiating a marathon SMS exchange lasting almost two evenings, fascinating excerpts reproduced below

She: just woke up after long…office timings make me work long

Me: ok am calling u

She: hey don’t…am sitting with Dad…pls understand

Me: ohh….u have good co….enjoy ur evening

She: good co in form of Dad….our discussion every evening is which car to but, my fav is Bentley

Me: my fav is Ambassador….all VIPs in Delhi travel in it

She: hahaha….fav is Ambassador….why…any escapades done there?

Me: u don’t need car for escapades in Delhi, they happen anyways

She: I need to visit Delhi again, I recall travelling in cycle rickshaws there

Me: I had time of my life on those riks, best place for bird watching

She: haha…am not for a moment thinking u talking of birds here…I know u rascal, anyways gtg…gud nite, sweet dreams

Me: ohhh…before going lemme share a secret…Ambassador has lot of free stuff at back, dream stuff

She: what??? I can’t understand what u talking here…*blink* *blink*

Me: someone’s pretending innocence

She: innocence?? A woman messages u to talk and bas shuru ho jao bakwas bolna

Me: ooops…anyways I m feeling hungry. Also my Teacher’s bottle is finishing…looking for someone to finish this off with…why don u come over? Khub jamega rang jab mil baithenge teen yaar, aap main aur Teachers

She: ha..u think I will booze with u! btw I can out do u anyday in boozing…y don u hit the nearest resto…

Me: can’t go alone, yet to get my license here….u drive me around city OK?

She: get urself a chick then will drive u around

Me: I m yet to find a chick for myself, u help me find one

She: u wanna me play pimp? Find one for urself…

Me: there’s a chick in my building, but I don’t know how to flirt, can u teach me flirting….pleaaaseee

Now the last line was a honest confession….I am a novice at flirting and never know how to make those moves thereby squandering easy chances, so guys please drop your suggestions – how to move ahead with this willing chick?

Monday, August 9, 2010

Latest tidbits from me

I had planned to watch a movie this Friday but my siesta prolonged and I woke up only 15 minutes prior to start of show. Don’t know how but I reached cinema hall before start but by then tickets were sold out, so had to settle for Aisha instead of planned Once upon a time… last time too wanted to catch up on Lamhaa but got tickets for Khatta Meetha. Next time should book tickets in advance but then will have to cut short on dear sleep

There’s a new guy who has recently come to this city and taken a place behind my building. He is from a big city and looks my type so I am excited. Hey don’t get me wrong, I am only talking about planned sleepovers and booze sessions nothing else though I am somewhat of a bisexual

Nothing else reminds me I did have a chat with a chick last weekend who did flirt with me to both of our heart’s content. Females here do like to have fun and every possible thing happens behind closed doors. Our chat started innocuously but went to all places plausible and I certainly enjoyed this expression of interest

Talking of females and mutual interest, my bride hunt seems to be going nowhere. I have posted on matri sites but its not easy to catch something suitable and interesting easily there. Plus these sites are a bit like brothels, all females displaying themselves and vying for male attention. Guess will have to wait before something starts happening

These days I have started doing something which I never fathomed I would ever do – I have started to cook! Eating out every day was not feasible for long and add to that the oodles of weight I have put on since coming to this city, I was left with no choice but to try my hand over water and fire. I don’t have access to kitchen so will have to do with only a rice cooker for now though I plan to buy a microwave oven too. Till now I have done rice, chicken, spinach and rajma, but wait am not finished yet

And lastly I put myself on Facebook yesterday. I could not keep myself away from this fad for long, so your dear Pesto Sauce is finally on the most popular site. You can reach my profile by clicking here or by searching ‘Pesto Sauce’

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

When I called Malaika on MTV

In my last post I mentioned that I had once spoken to Malaika Arora Khan, that bomb of a female on MTV Loveline and some wanted me to recount that experience, so here I am obliging you all.

It was the summer of ’99 and the only time in my life that I was undergoing heartache having yearned for someone beyond me. Looking back I guess it was infatuation pure and simple, however lets not get into that here. Back to Malaika and MTV. Loveline was a hot running show those days and everyone wanted a slice of it, I too never missed many episodes and listening to many callers and their tales, I thought I too had something similar to share. So one fine day I picked up the cordless and dialed the number displayed on bottom of MTV screen; to my disappointment, instead of Malaika it was a tele-message which greeted me and asked me to leave my contact details and love problem. I recited what all I wanted to and left it there

Few days later a call was received at my home, and as luck would have it was picked up by my Mom! MTV executive asked for me and when I came on line, asked if I had called with my love problem. Now the troubling issue that day was a pooja was being held at my place, so had all the peeping toms listening in. To run away I grabbed the cordless and bolted myself in a distant room to speak alone to the ever sexy Malaika

First things first, Malaika has an irresistible sex appeal which does not get camouflaged any bit even in the phone voice. You can easily picture those sexy shiny legs kept on top of each other and displayed with pride. The voice, the accent, the giggle…a touch of heaven it is. Malaika listened to my teenage angst with patience and offered her sage bit of advice, but I was not willing to put down the phone easily. I wanted to go on and on and make Malaika suggest something really drastic. After all who could let an enticing voice like that go waste, I have had explicit horny chats on sex lines before but this was something different. Malaika somehow concluded the talk soon and in a way forced an abrupt end, before hanging up I heard her comment loud “now that was a real desperate guy”

When I emerged from the room after finishing Malaika I found many of my kin curious to know what had transpired. Somehow they knew it was MTV and later that night after dinner entire family mafia was eagerly watching MTV in drawing room. Thank heavens my chat was not aired that night; else imagine all Uncles and Aunts listening to my love tale! Later one family acquaintance heard my love chat on his honeymoon in Kathmandu and was too flabbergasted to recount to my family. However he did kind of distance from me for sometime.

I never got to watch the episode in which my call was featured, though as luck would have it some of my school buddies heard that episode and I was later informed that many calls had gone around town that afternoon asking to switch on MTV

Now if you ask me if I would like to call Malaika ever again, I would say yes (for that matter why only call, would love to do many more things with her!) but surely without anyone listening in