Monday, December 30, 2013

2013 – year which left me battered and bruised

There are years and times in one’s life when all that one has stood for, all that one has believed in and all that one always wanted to do come to a naught and stand reversed; there are times when the entire belief of one’s life stand shaken; when all that has been accomplished over years starts going away slowly; when all that one believed is firm starts shaking first mildly and then wildly. There are years which shake you to the core which at times force you to take some unwanted decisions; for me 2013 has been such a year.

If you have been reading me for sometime (or even if you browse through posts of 2009) you will understand how dearly I wanted an international assignment and how glad I was to have finally got one in 2010; my elation continued in 2011 with a good time at workplace but then when things started going wrong in 2012 I as a fool did not understand that it was best to head home; but never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I will lose my job that too with such humiliation and disgrace. My tumultuous relationship with my boss and his unprovoked verbal assaults in office wounded me no end and with me being located abroad avenues of escape or job change got severely limited. I never wanted to return to India which I am now being forced to, thanks to all the tribulations at office and my unfruitful and desperate job hunt in this country. What this entire ordeal has also taught me is that my profession has limited job openings and the vast corporate expanse of India provides larger scope for employment and job changes, moreso with increasing years of experience which also implies lesser matching jobs. Infact with all that I have gone through this year I doubt if I will ever work abroad again

Apart from all the acrimony at workplace there was nothing much else to write home about in 2013. Sadly I seem to have lost out on life a bit in last couple of years; pursuits like Toastmasters and Art of Living which I so actively pursued in India have come to a halt here, I hardly have anyone left in this city whom I can call a friend, my drinking has become much frequent and has become more of a habit now which has resulted in a bloated belly which shows no sign of reducing and life has become so listless that almost on all weekends I find myself confined to my bed with a book and drink for company. 2013 has also been a year where I almost abandoned this space with less than half dozen posts to show for the full year. If all this shittiness in life was not enough, for much of the year I was paranoid of having contracted some virus after I took the Russian blonde to my hotel room in Dubai earlier in the year

Perhaps the only thing positive about the year was my growing bonds with my family; first it was my mother then my brother and lastly it has been someone with whom I plan to start a family! Yes there has been a bright prospect in the offing for long and if things turn out well, which actually means that I find another suitable job soon, then may go ahead here. (For the time being let this be subject of another post and not this piece, sorry to keep you curious for now)

As every year draws to a close, it gives an opportunity to look back upon the 12 months that have gone by and the sweet and sour memories they have left behind; and when I look back at 2013 I can only say that I am glad its over. I dearly hope 2014, with all the trials and tribulations of life in India notwithstanding, turns out to be a better year for me; with all that I have gone through in 2013 I am surely due for some relief. I sincerely hope the New Year brings a new dawn which will help do away with the gloom and helplessness of 2013

As a number 13 has always been unlucky for me and in my heart of hearts I was dreading that atleast this time number 13 will not be as harmful for me but guess that’s not how it turned out. If life ever gave me a rewind option; I would never like to go through 2013 again