Women I adore

While writing about my select group of admired females, its difficult to pen down only a few, some of them are obvious choices while some took a bit longer to make this list, but a common thread amongst them is that they all achieved in life inspite of and not because of situations and circumstances

Hillary Clinton: many years back she was once asked after completing a shaky roller coaster ride how it felt; in her typical charm she replied it was nothing compared to living in White House! She gained fame as the forgiving wife of an erratic husband who in true female style defended him to the last hilt. America inspite of being a land of divorces and separations was awed by her devotion which later led to her making a dash for the top job herself; here too even though she lost to big O she did not hesitate for a moment to join his team later; paradoxically a woman who was once totally unaware of what her own husband was doing in her own house is now responsible to see what all other nations are doing round the world!

Protima Bedi: in today’s world of sex symbol clones she was the original trendsetter. I am not aware if any other celebrity has ran nude in Bombay since her or if someone has admitted to flings with such brazen candidness but Protima Bedi to this day remains the epitome of sexual liberty. I remember reading an extract from her book where she recounted being seduced by her classmate’s father in college, she liked it so much that from then on she herself took the lead in booking hotel rooms and calling him over. Friends’ fathers, filmstars, socialites, politicians…she tasted it all and even though her alliances didn’t work out, except to an extent with Kabir Bedi she lived life on her own terms. Towards her last days she made a foray into classical dancing before her tragic end in a landslide

Steffi Graf: she remains epitome of achievement and grace. Her contemporaries or even females since her have never been able to manage fame like her - Martina Hingis, Jennifer Capriati, Gabriela Sabatini, Maria Sharapova…list is endless of fallen stars who fell prey to the evil sides of fame. All through her playing days Steffi was conscious of her sex appeal but never let her concentration waver; after hanging her racquet her marriage to Andre Agassi remains one of the most admired alliances, their obvious mutual respect born out of both having gone through similar turbulences in same profession

Naina Lal Kidwai: when one talks of grace amongst Indian females I don’t know why but first image coming to mind is of this HSBC top shot. Coming from a high status family based in Shimla, she was the first Indian female to enter the hallowed Harvard Business School after which she charted her own progress path in the then male dominated corporate India. Always dressed in a light colored sari with an ever present modest smile, she is remarkably down to earth, infact she is connected on LinkedIn with some of my friends, the unmatchable poise and dignity with which she carries herself is truly remarkable

Sushmita Sen: I write about her last because she is someone I guess what every middle class Indian girl aspires to be. Having won the Universe, she never let fame go to her head; unlike her contemporaries who either got married into big filmy families after many failed relationships or always struggled in films, Sushmita has defined her own terms of success and actually showed that Indian females after all do not need a man to live a good life unapologetically.

What matters most ?

For all those who have been in a long term relationship or have survived in one for a good time there is bound to be a glue which would have held their fragile world together. I have never been in one so cannot answer but if I think hard some of them maybe:

•Passion/spark: for a life long attraction to sustain there has to be an attracting force which is dark and intense to last a lifetime. For all you know this may be something evil also, after all girls are known to like bad boys, but the dark passion should be sustainable and attractable for a life time. Darker the passion, greater the intensity and attraction

•Dedication: trust and loyalty are bedrocks of any relationship; let it be romantic, official or criminal. However it should also be borne in mind that trust is fragile and should be handled with care, once broken its hard to repair and cracks will be visible for a lifetime

•Chemistry: lack of chemistry makes it hard to hide the apparent discomfort, look at Abhi Ash for instance. If chemistry has to be defined it has to be the sparkle in the eye or the synchronous body language complimenting each other; couples who are really close make love often (and enjoy doing so) after effects of which are visible even the morning after

•Communication: now we are talking business. Imagine a relationship with no communication or worse no open communication. The modern lifestyle is already breeding many dysfunctional families and complicated relations and one has to be alert not to get lost in this maze. Use Airtel or MTNL but do communicate

•Tastes: this is more important to gel together. Imagine an avid reader lost in a mall, he will skip Gucci and Versace and only hunt for the desolate book shop; similarly a classic music lover would still try to attend a concert in Vienna even if he is holidaying there for a short trip. Now imagine spending lifetime with someone who doesn’t understand or appreciate your side of story

•Sense of humor: I am not very sure of this as sadly I don’t have much of it but somewhere it is important to be cheery and smiling as life sails through

•Sex Appeal: certainly not most important but it does matter or maybe matters till menopause doesn’t arrive

I am not very sure how many of above really matter, what I know is that love and respect matter first and foremost