Back for now

When I wrote my last post two years back I was not aware I would be away for so long and had infact given up on this space altogether for good. But then we never know the twists and turns of this odyssey called life and where it will land us up one day, the changes in my life have been so swift and rapid that I am now left wondering where my next chapter will unfold and what it will have in store for me

If I have to chronicle what happened in past couple of years since my last outpour here, the story goes like this. Yes I returned to India after losing my job in Muscat; waited for a long time to get a job in India though I had couple of very good international options (in hindsight a mistake to let go); got frustrated beyond limits and didn’t know where I was heading; when I had almost lost hope I found a job only to get in troubled waters soon; just when I was about to be fired, in nick of time got a lucrative international option; and here I am in Tanzania though not sure how long will continue here! And yes I got married in between though we are now based in different countries (subject of another post)

There also have been other changes within me which I have myself started to notice. I am emotionally better off and more stable now, gone are the days of binge drinking and visiting raunchy dance bars at late night, it is the call home which keeps me engaged most of the times. With carefree days of bachelor hood over, my face and body itself seem a lot different now. Few days back I had pasted a photo on Visa form which was clicked about four years back, to my astonishment no one in the office seemed to recognize my face and I was accused of pasting a photo from my college days!

In middle of all this the biggest setback for me has been professionally; it seems I am going down with each passing year and my career for now seems to be as good as over. Maybe it is because I am in the wrong profession and not cut-out for the shrewdness and assertiveness that this line of work demands. Also job avenues are so limited, let it be India or abroad, that I am now seriously contemplating doing something else altogether in life. As of now I do not have any ideas apart from few fantasies to think about and I am not even sure which country I will be living in in the coming few years

However one thing I have learnt is that no matter what comes up in life its always good to make friends with Optimism and Hope. Many times in the past couple of years, I have stared down the barrel with no light in sight however both the O & H kept me alive and kicking. And even now it is the same H which keeps my fire lit, present day insurmountable problems notwithstanding

As another challenging year draws to a close, I am aware that coming days will not be rosy for me which only implies that I have to steel up further. I also hope that I can give sometime to this space as I have now discovered that blogging actually keeps me going and there is no better place to vent out. If I have to look back and make a count of my good and not so good times, the time I was gung-ho on this blog would be undoubtedly the better time of my life when I had loads of O&H, and as I left this space or decreased my outpours here, turbulence also started manifesting in my life

I look forward to 2016 with a mix of caution and restraint; I only hope as the year goes by atleast someone recognizes that the photo on Visa form was from my recent joyful past and not that of any unrecognizable boy from his college days!!