As someone who is contemplating matrimony self doubts keep creeping in now and then and when combined with external factors manifest themselves in such big forms that I shudder at what I am getting into. Few days back Mom called up informing what some stupid astrologers had to say of my horoscope, if astrology is to be believed I am nearly committing suicide because my wife will be dominating, cruel and spiteful; now I have been advised on the acrimonious marriage predicted in my horoscope since time immemorial which makes me wonder is marriage worth it?
Idiotic astrology aside I am aware marriage is and never will be easy, more so for me. At times I wonder whats wrong with my single life; I never feel having missed out on anything and am kinda saved from all the complications that tangled relationships bring. But sub-consciously I am also aware that if and when I do settle down, leading a harmonious existence will be tougher than finding Yeti; read below if you want to know why
*I am too soft and non-assertive as a person and till now have only been dominated. I have had it in life if I end up with someone who is tez and chalu chant
*I don’t know how I come across on this blog but I am kind of cold, reserved and distant. Successful marriages demand partners who are loving, caring and affectionate; virtues which are somewhat unknown to me
*I get ticked off by girly things and tantrums; infact I can’t stand nakhras and hate shopping
*I am too much seedha and anyone can take me for a ride; moreso the teda fairer sex who are known to have good doses of greed and jealousy
*I like my solitude and many times don’t feel like coming out. Also I don’t mix easily and tend to become choosy in selecting company
*I kind of lack care and sensitivity and become too curt when ticked off. I know this is explosive & inflammable stuff in any relationship
*I am a bit melancholic and lead a dreary existence, a far cry from the fun and excitement which relationships demand
*Now this is something I have never said before but I avoid responsibility, perhaps why most stuff in my life has got delayed
*Its no secret that I have uneasy relations with my people, an easy picking for anyone wanting to make mincemeat of me and rule the roost
*I know that I sometimes write funny stuff but in general I have a serious disposition and mostly look for intellectual stuff not shopping bags
With all the sacrifice and pain that marriages and relationships bring I can’t help but wonder is it really worth it?