As someone who is contemplating matrimony self doubts keep creeping in now and then and when combined with external factors manifest themselves in such big forms that I shudder at what I am getting into. Few days back Mom called up informing what some stupid astrologers had to say of my horoscope, if astrology is to be believed I am nearly committing suicide because my wife will be dominating, cruel and spiteful; now I have been advised on the acrimonious marriage predicted in my horoscope since time immemorial which makes me wonder is marriage worth it?
Idiotic astrology aside I am aware marriage is and never will be easy, more so for me. At times I wonder whats wrong with my single life; I never feel having missed out on anything and am kinda saved from all the complications that tangled relationships bring. But sub-consciously I am also aware that if and when I do settle down, leading a harmonious existence will be tougher than finding Yeti; read below if you want to know why
*I am too soft and non-assertive as a person and till now have only been dominated. I have had it in life if I end up with someone who is tez and chalu chant
*I don’t know how I come across on this blog but I am kind of cold, reserved and distant. Successful marriages demand partners who are loving, caring and affectionate; virtues which are somewhat unknown to me
*I get ticked off by girly things and tantrums; infact I can’t stand nakhras and hate shopping
*I am too much seedha and anyone can take me for a ride; moreso the teda fairer sex who are known to have good doses of greed and jealousy
*I like my solitude and many times don’t feel like coming out. Also I don’t mix easily and tend to become choosy in selecting company
*I kind of lack care and sensitivity and become too curt when ticked off. I know this is explosive & inflammable stuff in any relationship
*I am a bit melancholic and lead a dreary existence, a far cry from the fun and excitement which relationships demand
*Now this is something I have never said before but I avoid responsibility, perhaps why most stuff in my life has got delayed
*Its no secret that I have uneasy relations with my people, an easy picking for anyone wanting to make mincemeat of me and rule the roost
*I know that I sometimes write funny stuff but in general I have a serious disposition and mostly look for intellectual stuff not shopping bags
With all the sacrifice and pain that marriages and relationships bring I can’t help but wonder is it really worth it?
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Its worth it only if u really want to experience it. Being apprehensive is fine, but doubting the whole intention of matrimony is definitely not good. I m sure there is a woman somewhere out there who must be in search of a man like u. Trust mke its just about timing when it comes to things like love n marriage.
ReplyDeleteMy only piece of advice to u is that do not rush into things and do something that u'll regret for life. And believe me when u find the one, u'll put in efforts to make it work! All the best n good luck.
Marriage is so overrated, it's not even funny :\
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, there are many people like you, and I'm sure, some of them have been accepted. Considering the fact that people like you have changed for the better when they've met people who they've fallen in love with, so it's always a possibility.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to echo something(although not from personal experience, THANKFULLY) Marriage is so overrated, it's not even funny :\
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I dont believe in astrology! My parents consult a zillion astrologers and all of their predictions turn out to be crap!
ReplyDeleteAs for marriage, you should only go for it if you think you're ready. And honestly, you need to keep a positive attitude. I'm worried too because I'm kinda reserved and I dont get along with a lot of people. But personally, I want to get married because I think I'm ready, in spite of all my shortcomings.
I'm not married, I can't tell you if it's worth it. It all depends on how well or badly you gel with the girl. Obviously you will realise before marriage if she's the chaaloo types, hai na? I mean, you like chaalooness *wink*wink* .. but I know which chaalu you are trying to say.
ReplyDeleteYou got to be somewhat assertive with a woman. You cannot give her complete choooot (don't laugh, i didn't say chut)..I know all the women who read this will get a lil shocked that a woman is saying this, but I mean it in the right sense. By "chooooot" I dont mean freedom..freedom of movement/thought/choices. But don't let her take you for granted and don't let her believe that she can be rude or extra dominating with you. Dominatin she will be. All women are dominating :p But that healthy domination and "sexual" domination is good. Not "do this now" / "its my way or no way" kind of domination. There has to be an equality in the relationship. She has to respect you, you have to respect her! Respect comes before love, friendship comes before love. Love grows with time. Keep an open mind.
+ you got to compromise a bit. Can't expect her to be picture perfect right? Thodi shopping to karani padegi weekly. Warna pyar ke sath sath taunts bhi ayenge :p
I don't know. You'll get to know when you meet the girl. If she's a lovely one, I promise that it will be the best thing in your life to have happened. :)
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Marriage is just this contract apparently according to a sociologist. Doesnt that say a lot?! :/ its just like this thing one does for the society. TOTALLY OVERRATED.
ReplyDeleteBut if one if VERY sure of their decision then whats stopping them? After all life is all about risks! ;) I confused you even more eh?! :O SORRY! :P
I haven't read what everyone else has said so I may be repeating here. What I think is that it's worth it if you want to experience it. If you don't, it's not worth it. All of the other things fall on the way side, if you meet the right person.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I don't think anyone hates shopping more than I do. So trust me you can find a girl who doesn't like shopping..
I agree with Dipti
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous - :)
ReplyDeleteWell these are some questions I have been asking myself. All I would like to say is do things only if u r entirely convinced of the girl
ReplyDeleteWell a sad marriage is the last thing you would need
As for a man, if he is reserved... i think it would be best to have somewhat dominant wife(I am not using the word nagging!)
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ReplyDeleteI think it is..its just nerves that make you think otherwise.
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ReplyDeleteeach person has potential for seedhapan and chaaluness, its just when they want to use it or be that.
ReplyDeleteyou have not even met a potential match n yet that astrologer's analysis is making you doubtful of the unnamed species, imagine how you will doubt her each action and intention after you're caged..
Its just the perception. Any person's black/white persona can be activated by right Treatment. A woman/girl in love does not harm her Object of affection, rest is for you to decipher her intentions and believe what people tell you about her..
Just asking, are all your friends perfect? Did you not accept some of them inspite of their imperfections?
The rule applies for any person you meet or know. Just learn to love and people will love you in turn.
You're the female version of me.. Except for the shopping buit of course. What can I say jab meri hi nayya doob rahi hai.
ReplyDeleteSo a big big hug
Are you me? ;)We hold on to independence as if our dear life depends on it..( it does! )
ReplyDeleteIndependence and solitude are best friends. Marriage often removes the solitude part- Sometimes it evokes claustrophobia..
Nice. :)
Get out of here,man you sound so wonderful,it's too good to be true,you're all I dream about.Congratulation you win the prize for the perfect husnand to me.
ReplyDelete