Moving out sucks

On this New Year’s eve I moved in to a new apartment; first time I had seen this place I was over the moon because the well-furnished, carpeted and spacious place was coming at steal of a price and I knew that I wanted to live there forever. My joy was all the more because I had got robbed at the previous place like anything, I was charged a high rent as the crooked flat guy was aware that I was new to this country which made me an easy prey. He was also not willing to return my deposit later and it took intervention of local authorities and much swearing by him to part with a fraction of my deposit. My new flat mate although much elder in age (most people in this city are oldies for that), is a real angel compared to him - he prepares breakfast for me on weekends, shares all his stuff including washing machine and we also hang out sometimes. And if someone is living with me he will soon know my idea of good time has to include booze, so yes he is company. Living with him is real bliss, I only have to ignore his extra-marital affair (his sexy daughters also have stud boyfriends in Delhi so guess it sort of runs in the family)

Last evening after dinner he dropped a bombshell when he told me that he is moving out as flat owner is increasing rent and he plans to shift to another cheaper locality nearer to his workplace. Now he had been hinting for a long time that he may be vacating for varied reasons but somewhere deep down I was praying for him to continue as I knew getting such a luxurious place in the main district at this rent again was almost impossible. His moving out has caught me by surprise and bad one at that for it was after a lot of searching and newspaper ads that I had found this hidden heaven; the idea of going through the grind again in less than eight months does not excite me one bit

Since last night I have been toying with idea of renting a complete apartment myself and then sub-letting a part of it to share the rent which seems a better proposition rather than me jumping into someone’s abode. In my previous place I was all the time eagerly looking to move out while in my present place I never wanted to quit, but I guess fate always has other plans. My own plan of settling down in life is taking a lot of time as the bride hunt is yet to yield any fruits (unsure if it will be sweet or sour), so as of now I will have to plan living in a bachelor shanty only. Renting a complete apartment also makes sense as I do not have any plans of moving out of this city anytime soon, so taking up a place and then gradually setting it up seems logical

Living a bachelor life alone in a distant city is surely exciting and has its many gains but then one also has to fend for oneself all alone. However this freedom is something I have craved for long so I cannot complain but hey I have to fix a good, cheap and comfortable place for me first…anyone around listening?

That Push

Today morning while aimlessly surfing I stumbled upon a new blog of a young married woman who is getting attracted to another man. Her husband is a straight scrupulous bloke who is everything good that good can be but I guess is not much of fun while the other man is a bit of adventurer and has an attractive streak in him, which has not diminished even after fathering two kids. She is in a dilemma whether to take her illicit affair to another level now, obviously she is lusting for the new man which she can’t hide but it is the moral scruples which is holding her back. I make-out that its not as if her husband is less affectionate, but any thoughts of her receiving any adulation at home makes her want to sleep with new man even more

Perhaps after sometime she will sleep with her new man, perhaps she will enjoy the thrill of doing it and may make a habit of it, perhaps the new man will give her all she wants except commitment and not perhaps but sure she will be left with a broken heart and more misery at end of it. I am also sure that the woman in question is aware of all these consequences and knows the road she is contemplating to travel upon will not have a pleasant end but at same time she is irresistibly unable to hold herself back, even after fully knowing that her chosen path is badly doomed. Her story is not an isolated case for I know of so many young females who fall for men being fully aware that promised Eden is never going to materialize and someday soon thorns are going to prick and prick deep; but for their own weaknesses cannot control themselves and yearn to join a long list of dumped and wounded mistresses. I know it is the bad boys who attract more and why should they not, no one wants to sleep with goody two shoes who is totally lacking in passion; after all everyone knows what thrill making out with a tall dark bad boy in a hidden dingy shack can give.

Coming back to the should-I-sleep woman, perhaps all she needs is a push to take the bold step; a nudge from anywhere telling her what she is thinking is not a crime but only natural and she will willingly jump to bed, after all she is half obsessed and half desirous of the bad man. I am ranting off for her because some years back I too was in a dilemma, given in to lust and somewhere deep down wanting to hit the bed but held back by moral pangs until some bloggers around here encouraged me to go ahead. We all need a gentle push, a nudge or a nod approving and recognizing innate dark desires; asking us to take the plunge in deep waters and not muse too much at the shores; believe me it takes only one voice of support for unzipping to start, consequences be damned

Later today I will comment on her blog asking her to chose a good hotel

Better to be away

Few days back I received disturbing news of demise of an acquaintance from India. At first I was a bit down but got over soon however what made me think hard was the strange behavior of her brother, a childhood chum of mine. After their father’s suicide, for no apparent known reason till now, my friend had abandoned his family and relocated to a distant city refusing to return ever. All pleas by his grieved family to come back fell on deaf ears with him even refusing to even recognize his folks, a pledge he maintained to an extent that he bizarrely skipped the last rites of his deceased sister. Perhaps he may have discovered some dark family secrets after his father’s suicide which may have prompted his self-imposed exile but we will never know

Another example which rushes to my mind is of a cousin living in Delhi who too left his folks and moved out to Dwarka following a tiff at his place. He also has been pleaded frequently to return but he too remains adamant never to come back and I am somewhat convinced that he too will never walk back

Now its no secret that I too am not excessively fond of my people back home and was long craving to leave dusty shores of dear motherland but thankfully I had the option of coming out for career reasons. Being a working professional comes with a perk of exploring options in different parts of the world and even exploring an alternate career which may at times bring you to an alternate city. Coming back to the new fashion of abandoning home, I could not help but think how many of those languishing in dysfunctional families back home would actually be yearning to run away. The above two examples are extreme for both of them perhaps had no options with neither having a good career to talk about, which limited their options of moving out with grace or valid reason. In a way I am grateful that I moved out, albeit a bit late, but without any unnecessary acrimony or rancor which could have spoiled the already delicate relations irreparably

However I must confess that past some time has been a bit different for me; although I still feel the painful pangs of sour relations but I guess distance has smoothened and balmed things in a way. The earlier abhorrence and resentment is still there, and may continue for some time, but it doesn’t come with that earlier gargantuan force now. What may have contributed to this good change, apart from the obvious distance, is that now I am looking forward to some good things in life like future spouse, holiday in Europe etc and also have a somewhat better career here. I guess time and distance do heal things somewhat, which may thankfully be the case with me too; but I guess for harmony and acceptance to first set-in, it is always better to be away