Wednesday, December 21, 2011

When do you say yes?

As someone contemplating matrimony there is no shortage of proposals but the choices available can leave one confused, what with the options varying from Mayawati to Madonna. In the ensuing confusion at times it can be real hard to decide when to say yes, or even to forget what is right, its a bit akin to searching for lost possessions and then when you search long and hard you forget what you were originally searching for. My condition these days is too a bit similar, since I landed in this city last year and embarked on my hunt I am myself at times a bit skeptical whether to say yes, no or say nothing at all. But before all this one needs to evaluate and decide own criteria and maybe then hunt for the right fit so deciding upon criteria first becomes critical, few of my own are jotted below:

Compatibility: first and foremost criteria since two separate individuals are planning to live their life together. And this does not mean searching for a temporary flat mate, by the way I am looking for one these days, it is much more complex. All other stuff goes for toss here as this defies logic and at times even morality, I know couples who help each other get laid but then they are compatible.

Exposure: while hiring for corporate those exposed to best management practices stand best chance to get in, similarly those who have lived life independently and faced its fluctuations do make a better fit. It must be for some reason that children are sent to boarding schools away from home, some of those virtues attained there remain companions for life and are easily and appreciably evident even years later

Attitude: this is one of the most decisive factors and is simply a no-brainer. Last some years I have seen so many relationships and marriages go down the drain just because one of the two was acting unreasonable (and also maybe because the other person did not have the maturity to handle this difference) that I sometimes feel casinos are a lot safer bet than entering matrimony with an hitherto unknown person, believe me in a bad marriage there is simply lot to lose and sometimes the sole criminal is the irrational attitude of one or both partners

Background: no I do not mean any wealth here; it simply means someone who can be related with. Someone hailing from a professional or services background may make for a better companion for we may have seen life through similar lens, but then this is not a disqualification. As someone whose roots hail from South but has lived in North, another tricky aspect of culture gets added here

Looks : this is last and does not matter as much as it is made out to be or like many wrongly believe it to be. If looks were indeed that important there would never be so many divorces or break-ups in showbiz

Maybe when most of these criterion do match up, I am sure all of them will never match together unless that person is result of some cloning experiment, it maybe time to say yes but then again think twice and bide time before making the all important call.


  1. Ur criteria seems to be pretty robust.

  2. I somehow never believe in idea of arrange marriage and so can never decide in such choosing....hope u make the best decision :)

  3. wow... it IS tough to get married!
    All criterion aside, you will just know when to say yes. Really, you will feel it!

  4. I think all you need is love - everything else just matches up automatically. Without it, nothing really does.

    Good luck :-)

  5. All the best of luck :)
    I've always thought of arranged marriages as not my cup of tea.

  6. All you need is Love and everything works out well :)

  7. The people I've met, who've gotten into arranged marriages, said the day they met their future spouse "they knew". As simple as that. Though I can hardly imagine that.

    You'll know when you know.

  8. Its such a difficult thing to do that at times you feel the urge to leave your brain elsewhere and just take a plunge is whatever appeals to you

  9. I am sure you will know it ... when it comes
    All the best


  10. i agree to you 101%. Now since I myself is in the process of looking for a partner, I know what exactly this post has to say :)

  11. Very interesting. I like how you systematically organise your posts into categories, instead of letting them flow randomly :) And about this particular post, being there,doing that,I totally relate to what you say!

    Thank you for visiting my blog too,Pesto. And do you know Pesto Sauce is one of my favourite foods?