Tuesday, April 17, 2012

A nice man to know

“Hey you know something, you are a nice guy”
I was a bit bewildered on how to react, could only manage “Gee…ohh”
But he continued “Yup man, you are real nice”
“Really! I have been telling my other friends also about you. You are nice but at times you become negative, especially when you talk of matrimony”

Late at night I was in the middle of a good long booze session with my flat-mate who is leaving soon and these words did make me think about myself. Nice guy, maybe yes, negative, overall a happy-go-lucky guy but when it comes to anything about family maybe a bit negative. But then pessimism is usually not born of its own; it usually has its genesis in events and circumstances of past which also shape the present. During my booze chats (or even when I am sober) I talk enthusiastically about life, about some exciting days of college, my vacation in Europe last year, benefits and drawbacks of living in my present city but when it comes to matrimony or of any family institution I become circumspect. Reasons for this apprehension may not be too hard to crack; for someone who has grown apart from his own folks and strongly abhors even reminiscing days of past, this apprehension is a bit explicable

As another blogger recently told me that my blog makes me sound like someone who has been molested during childhood; well I know that I do sound a bit hassled at times, I may not have been physically molested but I do carry my scars which are hard to heal. I do not want to dwell into my past again but then I can’t deny or overcome the circumstances which have shaped my present resentment. However it also does not mean that I am a person who is perpetually sad or a loner; I do have my share of wine and women and I certainly do enjoy life in my own way

But then as many others have been telling me, life is all about hope and there is no reason to be unreasonably cynical about matrimony. Relationships are all about giving and sharing so as long as the villain ego is away and superstar unconditional love is present, relationship will be a runaway hit. As I am discovering these days, guys and girls are not much different from each other, both desire similar stuff only way of expressing may be a tad different; also as not all guys are same (macho/arrogant/womanizers/ perverts etc) girls too have their variety (delicate/egoistic/tough/greedy etc). It eventually boils down to finding someone who gels and blends well with oneself or atleast makes an honest attempt to do so; humans were born different but then still co-exist inspite of numerous differences

Well my flat mate leaves soon and as I renew my hunt for another guy (I honestly don’t mind a girl also) I can atleast take pride that even though I may not be many things but I am certainly a nice man to know


  1. Good luck for the hunt of a new roomie. :) And hope u get a woman who suits u just right.

  2. awww...well i don't know much but you do seem to be bluntly honest...which i'd take any day over those guys who'd give me diabetes... :D..anyways glad to take a small detour to your blog once more...refreshing as always....good luck with your hunt...cheers!!!

  3. i wish there was like button to this one :) Pesto i have always read your posts and remember the happiness in one of your posts where you mentioned about moving out of home, living your own life etc.
    Dont know about the molestation and ll that scary stuff, but yes we all carry scars, bad memories, pot bellies and ugly secrets, but life goes on :)
    will you believe i was once a "go out club hard every night sleep till 9 in the morning and waste myself" kind of girl..people come, places change and life lets you be "the achawala banda "


  4. As Sulgana has said, all of us carry our scars, we have been molested by self - our veru own cunning brain, if not by anyone/anything else

    About the wedding apprehensioan! It is definitely sailing in uncharted waters for "arranged" and taking your time is purely normalZo!

    Good luck with the roomie!

  5. Wow that sounds like fun lots of wine and women?

  6. of course you are a nice guy

    and you will be a very sweet and fun boyfriend to the girl who is compatible with you. she's just taking a little long to arrive :)

  7. plse note the change in url:


  8. Good Luck! ... Sometimes things take longer than anticipated and there is always a good reason for it! :)

    ∞ © tanvii.com ∞

  9. hey y sound so pessimistic abt marriage?? Agreed everybody has a past, n their own wounds but it should all heal by time n we should co-operate with life to move on....

    I m sure there will be a gal who will accept u n gel with u.. Hv hopes!! Hugs to u pesto!!

  10. Being a nice guy is really a lot these days :) Also, isn't life all about trial and error? Just go with the flow and don't let the past come in your way!

  11. Some incidents do leave a scar but it is best to move forward with a positive approach...someone somewhere is perhaps waiting for you(Do I sound too filmy?). And if you meet the right person, marriage is bliss(Coming from experience).