Thursday, November 15, 2012

Ponderings on love and happiness

Last evening I was out watching Jab Tak Hain Jaan at the local cinema (no I am not going to review the film here, good or bad judge yourself) when the only dialogue that stuck me in the long movie was by Neetu Singh in her solo scene “jab hum khud khush nahi hain, to hum doosro ko kya khushi denge” In the movie Neetu Singh chose the unconventional by following her heart and eloping with her lover thereby abandoning her husband and teenage daughter. Years later when she confronts her daughter Katrina and begs forgiveness, Kat replies that having grown up, she now understands her actions and in a way applauds her estranged mother for following her heart and desire, even though she had been cursing her since the time she left

Long after the movie this dialogue still resonates and actually set me thinking, its important to be happy oneself first and only then can we share some of our own happiness. Love and happiness are bedrocks of any relationship and as is well known, relationships grow only by sharing and caring; but before that its critical that we be content and happy with our choices, only then can anything be shared

I feel love is a lot like sex. First time we have had sex need not be the best sex of our life; only later with practice and effort we learn more about it and then somewhere the intensity and excitement increases. Also during sex we first satisfy our own desires first and then look at increasing the intensity and pleasure for the other partner; I doubt if sex can be any good if its only about keeping the other partner happy and ignoring or compromising on your own needs. Also let it be love or sex, giving is very important; chances are that if you give more you will get double of what you expected in return

However love is also not as simple, it’s actually very wicked for to sustain long it has to increase else it starts decreasing. Unlike sex same tricks and acts may not work again , its important to reinvent lest boredom may creep in; also like and maybe unlike sex love is not everyone’s cup of tea – like there are people who are awesome in bed and then there are some who suck in bed (pun was unintentional); similarly there are fellow human beings who have got huge reserves of love to share and then there are less fortunate who maybe misunderstand the whole complication and remain deprived all through. Can’t help but reminisce an old hit

Har kisi ko nahee milta yahaa pyaar zindagi main
Khush naseeb hain wo jinhe mila ye bahaar zindagi main

I may sound a bit confused in this rant but for someone who has to make some critical decisions soon, some ponderings can be permitted


  1. I think on general terms we can arrive on so many conclusion with regarding love... But hell yea one medicine wont work for the second person

  2. Very few people will follow their heart... Most of them follow soceity...

  3. LOVE is something that is different for everyone .. and we all show and describe it differently

    but lucky are the people who get love

    and all the best in the decision making front .. Think about it .. then go for a walk and Again give it a thought and Decide :) thats what I do


  4. Jon you think the General that Paula Broadwell had an affair with had to take Viagra don't you?

  5. You make me want to watch this movie now :-)

  6. Raajii, sorry to burst your bubble but he of course is referring to the old hit with Al Green.

  7. Pesto this is the first grown up grown up and really mature post from you (my opinion only ha) but i so agree with Neetu Singh ,but as a mother i think there is no need bigger than your childs need for ya..m confused too

  8. Intense rant If I may say so. I think love, life's decisions are very much dependent on individual circumstances so there is never a single right way ...

  9. hello pesto
    Sulagna is right about your post's maturity level.
    Even i was thinking like"never felt in this way after reading pesto's posts". And i was even wondering if all your posts are this good and in that case how did i miss the feel in them.But it was a really nice way in which you expressed your thoughts. I agree with every point of yours though i feel myselves confused while taking decisions.

  10. all the movies and books speak about life n love... and it surely will have some reflections on our lives too somewhere, somehow...

  11. All the Best for your decisions. And to Love, one must love oneself more to be able to share the extra with others. Wish I was among the one who knew how to love.


  12. It's a confusing rant indeed! And this says so much about your current frame of mind.
    Don't be so sceptical when it comes to love. It's very simple actually - you get what you give. You have to be really unlucky to be the one who is just giving and getting nothing in return.
    As Neetu Singh could have said, be loving and love shall follow. Stop thinking about it so much!

  13. We all grow wiser after events.

    Agree with Nisha ant hink or rationalize beyond a point when it comes to love...just go ahead. All the Best.

  14. Couldnt agree more. And may these ramblings help you in making the decision next time ..:)