This weekend I was at a cabaret bar with my friends enjoying the raunchy and sizzling display of flesh complete with gyrating hips and pelvic thrusts to the tune of loud numbers; besides friends I also had booze for company but in between all the noise I started losing myself somewhere and recoiling in the past bygone days. I was enjoying the late-night enthusiastic show being put up by young girls and also cheering them on but in between and almost all of a sudden, some scenes from past came flashing by along with small doses of pain. It was not the first time and sadly not last either, when episodes from not so pleasant past have come to haunt me from nowhere and I find myself drifting into a world I have left behind and would like to forget very soon
I am aware that some episodes from past can haunt in good measure when alone but then from where do they come and bother in a cabaret bar of all the places? My mind was tuned to the voluptuous babe dancing invitingly in front of me, her twists and turns were evidently well practiced and certainly well admired; she would not let me leave early egging me to stay till end of show and just when I am beginning to enjoy myself in heaven memories from hell abruptly reappear. My past has very little to do with sleaze or seduction, its only after coming here that I have started enjoying good things of life so from where the fuck do tormented relationships jump into my mind just when I am being turned on?
It was not the first time that past has bothered me nor do I think it will be the last. Blogpals who have been coming here often are aware why I so desperately wanted to leave India and live anywhere abroad, but now that it has successfully happened why do the bad bygone days keep reminding of themselves again and again?
Lisa Ray recently quoted that key to happiness is to have a short memory; coming from someone who has so bravely fought cancer the words do have a ring of truth to them. But what Lisa tacitly implied was that happy people are also strong people; Lisa though a stunning beauty in appearance is also a very strong person never compromising on her own identity
We all have a past, some have more bitter ones, but why is too difficult to let go of the past? Instances of past hitting like bullets at times can cause and do cause pain and ideally are best forgotten. But as I keep finding the hard way, a future is yet to happen but past has already happened and nothing can change that.