Morbid Me

Once there was a boy who remained quiet and aloof and at times was so silent, his presence itself was unknown. Naturally this boy did not have many friends but he remained content in his solitude, under the protected shelter of his parents. Little did he realize in his innocence that his parents too are human beings and with their own follies may abhor his reserved disposition. The ill vibes grew along with the child and during his upbringing he many times had imaginary thoughts of his being spanked without reason, beaten up for pleasure and persecuted to give pain. As he approached teenage, his mother who was undergoing menopause, got her relative’s daughter to stay with him; just because she needed emotional support and totally unmindful of her child’s comfort

Do you know this child? I know you wouldn’t. After all this is an anonymous blog

Off late the dark thoughts engulfing me have increased and many times I too wonder what I have to do with them. Few nights back I had a dream that Narendra Hirwani has died. Now come on I know that dreams project only what you have been thinking sub-consciously, but from where the hell does Narendra Hirwani come in here? I have not even seen or read about him anywhere in ages

On Friday, flu shots were being administered in office to deal with the seasonal change of weather. I thought after the shot I will be immune to any ills for sometime, but on Tuesday I developed high fever, perhaps more due to exertion in Vaishno Devi. I was anxious and restless the whole day, has my body immunity got hit and reduced? Have I contacted something fatally dangerous? Is there something wrong with my blood? Only when the fever subsided next day that I breathed a sigh of relief, but doubt it is only for time being

Yesterday a chick in office complimented me for my Toastmasters effort and admitted she was taken aback to know that I too had a sense of humor! After all I hardly smile, which perhaps unknowingly does put off few people. Perhaps our external appearance is after all only a reflection of our inner being.

I guess morbidity has been a part of me for sometime now and will continue to constitute a part of my dreary existence. But I guess I may not be alone here, perhaps we all do have our grey shades hidden somewhere which get camouflaged with the unreal brightness we all tend to put on.