Wednesday, October 27, 2010

When will I understand love?

When I was studying in college a close friend of mine had a very monstrous mother, she was full of devilish attributes and hated by all, so much that I still loath the image and sight of her. She would easily be the most unreasonable and cruel woman I have ever known but my friend loved her no end. I could never understand then (nor can I now) how could one like, let alone love, a person so devilish and unkind. But my dear friend was different: she indeed loved her devil incarnate mother

I am aware that daughters are more attached to their mothers but this kind of love, which ignores cruelty and forgives brutality, is still beyond me. I have also come across other countless stories of such so-called love, and not just limited to India, where wives love their nasty and drunk husbands; where daughters still yearn for affection of their fathers who had secretly molested them during puberty; and of girls of my generation who crave for bad boys known for their ill ways

I have tried and made attempts in past to understand better what this kind of love actually is but all have come to nought, the only time perhaps I came somewhat close was during an Art of Living discourse where I realized that true love is actually beyond rationality and logic. And someone like me, who relentlessly tries to analyze moon and stars understandably will never understand love which explains why I have to think hard whenever it comes to love; someone told me once that I should start here by keeping a pet to atleast understand affection first

I also heard somewhere that true love is the one which hurts; now I did not even attempt to know what this means, after all novices can never learn rocket science

But yes I do understand lust, if not love, and a lot of it. I have now become regular with visiting cabarets here and love the uninhibited flesh display there; I am a porn freak and enjoy good quality stuff; I have made out with guys in hostel and enjoyed it no end; and off late I can do a bit of dirty talking as well

But over and beyond the enticing lure of lust lies the tender care of love which I am still trying to decipher. Maybe in the past I have been ignorant of my own failed understandings but now that I have to somewhere start making something of this damned life, I better begin to understand a bit of this illogical thing called love

17 comments:

  1. As clichéd as it is, I think that love is just one of those things that you can't understand from the outside - you have to fall, and fall hard. That's when the magic starts to work - and then how you feel about someone simply slips out of your hands. Eh, it sounds so cheesy when it's said like that. But you'll see what I mean :)
    Nice post!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Most attractive things in the world are the ones which are far away, harsh, hard or committed to something/some1 else....
    ..But I guess some people have a habit to run after things they knw they won't get...!
    bt thrs a difference b/w Love and going after someone who is wayy far to achieve.

    Our parents love us unconditionally. Don't they?
    and Love is one phenomenon no 1 could explain.Its just a feeling...Unconditional & Illogical.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love is a mystery. Alot of times, it'll just feel like lust with an emotional component, but I like to think it's something more than that.

    ReplyDelete
  4. i think people who are in love- for I think it is impossible to get out of it if one manages to get in- also don't , and never will, understand love.

    and I don't really understand the human need for cognition! we all fall into this trap of thoughts and rethoughts over an inexplicable question, y not just let it be and let it play.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "the only time perhaps I came somewhat close was during an Art of Living discourse where I realized that true love is actually beyond rationality and logic. "thou art of loving

    hahaha very interested
    wish you all success go ahead

    ReplyDelete
  6. well its the most strange feeling in the world.. i dont know but u can never have enough reasons for it..

    ReplyDelete
  7. So true...love is beyond all rationality and logic...My boyfriend is not really a bad guy,as in he doesn't abuse me either physically or verbally,but n very many little ways I am sort of miserable in our relationship...But still,I can't let go of him,because I love him...I would rather be miserable like this than be without him...

    I didn't know I could love someone like this either...I guess it just happens when the right person comes along...To quote Carrie Bradshaw.."When that big love comes along,it is not easy..."

    ReplyDelete
  8. in your own words, "this illogical thing called love", is something that even i can't decipher. but to agree with you, its irrational and beyond logic.

    ReplyDelete
  9. sweetheart, I have said this to you before and I'll say it again... love won't be a mystery to you at all the moment you meet the right person.. all those emotions of warmth, compassion, care will coming running to you without any effort :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. love is not to understand. its something to feel and is beyond understanding. it has so many facets, you discover something new all the time.

    so don't fret. it'll always be an alien till you are in it. and you'll know .

    ReplyDelete
  11. When you do fall in love, u wont even feel the need to understand it. You'll just enjoy the feeling and the contentment it brings along!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I dated a score of guys before I landed on this gem and it was then that I got to know what love is. You can't analyze it, nor can you really understand it. You just have to go along with it. Weird really but then that's what love is about. It's kinda irrational.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Maybe you have been looking for it in the wrong places?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I agree with R. You will never know how to define love in words. Its something you feel and go along with. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. To love is to take chances stepping out of the box I am very close to my son...he is the light of my life and I think I teach him about what love is...hang in there it will come just be open to it..and in the mean time have fun

    ReplyDelete
  16. Once you figure it out, shoot me a personal mail please. Cause I get no shit about this damned thing myself.

    Kisses.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Figuring me love? IMPOSSIBLE.....read my latest story.....it says love is to be felt and u know.....If u once feel it u search for that feeling forever in ur life......It involves a lot to get it again........the destructive love u say is often possessiveness rather than love.....love with a negative connotation.....love isn't that ....its more abt giving willingly u just feel like it .....we can never tell u that u will know when u experience it :)

    ReplyDelete