Mixology – my new read

Few days back I picked up a book from Spencers, perhaps not because I actually wanted to read it, but the dirt cheap price on offer was too tempting to resist. Moreover the credentials attached were all too inviting, the author being an IIM alumnus & the title of the read an unusual & catchy one “The Funda of Mixology”. After having finished reading it, I don’t find it all too bad & perhaps a bit different from the usual short novels being churned out by new brigade of bloggers turned authors.

The story begins by tracing the life of a bachelor working in corporate in Mumbai, he describes himself as a corporate dweller by day & pursuing other pursuits after his work day. The life showcased is typical of what many of my generation go through or rather are going through - bachelor life encompassing a mixture of booze, friends, stinking boss, pubbing etc but perhaps no life outside the rat race. This is the dilemma which the author also faces, for he dreams to be ‘someone’ one day & not get lost behind another business card; fulfill secretly harbored aspirations, which perhaps get lost in the daily grind of his life. The narration takes a twist when our friend meets with an accident after a late night party & wakes up in the other world. He meets angels & demons, drinks magic potions, and goes through individual record books of human lives. Since he has been accidentally brought up when he had few more years to live, he is to be promptly shipped back; however before that he gets to do some future gazing of his own life.

The novel then goes on to showcase his alternate lives one-by-one, each having something of what he ever wanted to be, but also having some flaws which he never bargained for. In one life he is shown as a famous author but with no family & no personal life, leading a desolate, reclusive life; in one he is shown as a corporate honcho having given up all aspirations of being an author; in another his wife deserts him for ever & he is left with almost no possession of his own & in the last he is shown as dying of cancer. When he wakes up in his real life he is himself not sure of what he wants to do in his remaining existence since contentment, fame, health seem all distant with himself not sure of which one to attain and which one to sacrifice. However he now learns that life is all about mixing up all ingredients & live a heady cocktail of life.

Perhaps the message behind the work is not be too engrossed in mad rush of modern-day metro living & as you go through life, take time out to smell the flowers. This is all the more relevant for my generation rat race youngsters, who have perhaps forgotten Grand Ma tales & have more friends on Facebook rather than playgrounds.

Do read if you get a copy, not a waste of discounted price at least!

Things to do before I die

Couple of days back came the news of death of Jade Goody in far away UK. Sadly Jade had made a spectacle of her imminent death, ever since her cancer was rendered beyond cure. A celebrity who had got so used to hogging & basking in media limelight, could not stay away from it even in her last days & even wanted her departing moments to be captured on film, so that it remains a sought after search on You Tube for ages. However Jade’s young death & the long media trail covering it made me wonder, what if I am given a few days to live? After all Jade was my age only & died after a protracted ailment & not any sudden accident. If it is certain my days are limited, what are the few things I would like to do before the curtain falls? After some long & deep thinking moments, I drew a long list but the top five things in my to-do list reads as follows:

1) Give a press conference – in today’s age of breaking news & even trivial issues grabbing headlines, I too want a share of the coveted media glare. It must be something addressing press folks with your each movement being captured & further packaged for mass consumption. Guess a few arrogant media bytes wouldn’t do any harm

2) Attend award ceremonies – I have always wanted to attend Filmfare awards. Off late more awards have sprung up, but Filmfare remains the coveted Holy Grail for all stars. True the award ceremony is not what it used to be, but still retains some of its charm. Other ceremonies I would like to attend……maybe the cabinet swearing-in, diplomatic reception at Hyderabad House or the ET Business Awards

3) Go on a star cruise – every year Vijay Mallya packs his private jet with his favorite bunch of models & takes off to Atlantic to cruise with Brazilian footballers, Hollywood stars & Italian mafia. How about being a part of this?

4) Live in a bungalow in Lutyen’s Delhi – while passing through Central Delhi I have always wondered how life would be inside the Lutyen Bungalow Zone, with each estate sizing upto more than an acre, that too in heart of Delhi! Many times the spacious exterior lawns are used for hosting marriage parties, fashion shows are organized in annexes & huge Iftaar parties thrown during Ramadan

5) Have sex with bollywood actress – I am yet to get laid in my present life, so would love to initiate with an actress. Its no secret that many of them do it for a cost, which will perhaps consume most of my savings, but can surely give it a shot if only few days are left. I met a guy once who had offered services of Shweta Tiwari, Preeti Jhangiani or Meghna Naidu for a whopping 8 lakhs…..difficult choice but guess I will settle for either Shweta or Preeti

Now that’s my wish list of things I want-to-do in my hypothetical limited days. Since many of them seem far & distant, better get back to rigmarole of everyday grind now

Between the Sheets – Meow FM

I am not a big FM fan, but a program on FM radio which I never miss is Between the Sheets, which comes every Wednesday & Thursday nights on 104.8 Meow FM, a station reserved only for women & women related issues. A first thought which comes to mind on women related issues is dowry, girl education, rights etc; however the themes in this program usually is stuff like sexual fantasy, first kiss, dirty confessions, incest relationships, bi-sexuality etc.

Last night the topic was how do you communicate to your partner that you are in the ‘mood’? One caller said she merely talks of a fictitious child & how to get there & things get started. Another said her partner merely chirps “moojhe doodh peena hain” & she obliges. One even said she sends an SMS conveying her desire (wonder what the message inbox will look like). The best was a caller who said she would simply tell her boyfriends that her parents are asleep & rest would simply happen!

I have been a some what regular listener of this program & though off late the topics wander off to emotional chow-chow, but many times sleazy & spicy themes are discussed, sample this :

*)On the theme sexual fantasy, one caller said she would like to go shopping with her man (here too!). Then she would try an itsy-bitsy attire in the store which would turn-on her man & they will get started in trial room itself. Another said she would like to do it while licking chocolate scoops from hairy chests

*)On AIDS day, the theme was condoms & all callers recounted their first encounter & how it actually felt. One interesting caller confessed that in her hostel they used to fill condoms with water & store in freezer. When they got hard, all girls took turns to play with it.

*)On bi-sexuality theme, one caller said she had discovered her bi-curiosity during her college days & was now comfortable with her preferences. When questioned if she was married she replied in the affirmative & boasted of an encouraging husband, so much so that they now hire prostitutes for threesomes.

*) On adult entertainment topic, one middle aged caller remembered her youth when she had been to topless bars in US & had got hooked on to it. Now after returning to India, she is missing the action, though she retains a few CDs but has to ensure it remains hidden from her curious kids. Another caller enjoyed watching porn with a crowd of couples around & the critical review & comments that would follow.

*)On age-difference relationships, one young caller mentioned she started sleeping with a retired officer 10 years ago, which has continued even after marriage & a kid (wonder who’s this one is). Another caller confessed to falling for her daughter’s friend & the adventures they enjoyed together.

I wonder how the program has not come in limelight much, though it has been labeled as soft porn by many. Also the sleazy topics are very cautiously mixed with general ones, guarding against moral policing & censorship. The program is now on in couple of other metros too after Delhi, better catch on the fun.

End of the Road?

When I thought of writing this posting the initial heading I had in mind was “New Calling” & not “End of the Road” as you see above. But that is how things have turned out for me in my workplace, perhaps this is beginning of the end, if not the end actually. It was no secret that things were not well in my organization, which is not unusual for corporate these days in the current crazy economy, but the wielding of axe seems imminent now.

Well we had a department meeting last week, where the grim reality was made clear to all & the inability to save more jobs deliberated. What is happening here is a complete bloodbath, with the organization size coming down to 500 in May from the initial 1200 in December! Few lucky of us will be given options to change, if they are available & if the options are not taken, the organization will be left with no options. Since this meeting I have literally lost my sleep & have been living in a daze. Initially I had planned to watch Dilli 6 over the weekend & also attend a full-day event in Delhi on Sunday, but now find it difficult to hold on to my senses.

All job consultants & head hunters that I knew are themselves out of work these days & their own future & existence seems to be in doubt. Many of them have in return asked me for any available assignments!

I have been given an option of going to Mumbai, but it looks unfeasible from all angles. First my organization does not have any office in Mumbai, only a couple of employees work in offices of different agencies. Second I will be working under an angrez, about whom I have heard horror stories from everywhere. Third being in Mumbai will not provide immunity from the on-going retrenchment; just delay the inevitable by some time. Fourth my knowledge of the city is nil & the job involves travelling from Andheri to Church gate every second day. Add to this my meager income to survive all alone in the country’s most expensive city & you have a perfect mix of doom & disaster.

Now that I have an option of choosing between devil & the deep sea, my life seems to have entered a fox hole. Don’t know why but have been feeling very fucking grubby since past few days

Am I gay?

Last evening happened to while away some time on net & came across a few gay blogs. Must admit that they do make for some interesting reading. Gays are known to be the most creative people & don’t suffer from the usual syndromes that many of us do. However one thing peculiar among gays is their obsession with sex. Straight guys are also no less obsessed but never find them searching for mates so desperately. Also gays seem to be more promiscuous & often require no invitation.

After going through the gay stuff I began wondering: am I gay? Maybe not but I have had a few experiences where I can call myself bi-curious. It all started in school hostel, when puberty & the resultant on surge of hormones had lead to experimentation with few classmates. But I guess that’s normal, everybody learns to shag somehow. And its not limited to guys only. Females also go through this discovery stage; a friend confessed to me once how she learnt all good things in her hostel in Mussorie. And that included help from props like carrots & spoons & many times used to be an all inclusive affair with all her dorm mates involved.

Some years back I had posted my gay experiences on net & got a mail from a young gay from Mumbai, enticing me for an alliance. I did exchange few mails with him, where we discussed mutual desires, but to be downright honest I felt like shit & helluva repulsive after that dalliance. If I can recall correctly, name of that guy was Harsh & he had mailed even snaps of his organs to me!

Few months back a young trainee in office was continuously pestering me on inter-office communicator with messages of friendship at all times/true friends etc. I suspect that guy was not straight for he went too far when talking of caring & sharing between friends. Mercifully the communicator has a block option, so he made a permanent exit from my message system. I spotted him a few days back in office & will have to hesitatingly admit, he indeed does look cute.

So now the million dollar question that I have to ask myself: am I gay? Maybe yes, maybe no; but being a gay is definitely not a crime. Infact I now find gays to be comparatively better human beings. I don’t think I am gay either, my past experiences notwithstanding; I maybe a lesbian though, for that is my favorite choice of porn!

Growing up can be lonely at times

Few days back I happened to see a relatively old flick, Kal Ho Na Ho on cable TV. I guess the film had released a few years back, but I could not never watch the entire film in one go, just small bits & parts now & then. That day also I did not watch the entire film, maybe just the opening half hour or a little more. I got a proper introduction of all the characters & it was the character of Preity which drew me the most, perhaps for I could relate with her the most.

Like Preity I too live in a dysfunctional family, with all disjointed members pulling one another apart & one’s own voice being lost or never been asserted. I guess this feeling of loneliness & depravity within own folks is not peculiar to me, what with modern day living furthering distance from own flock. Growing up in a family which was non-communicative & in which I still cannot find my desired degree of comfort & warmth, has further distanced if not converted the already long meter into a kilometer.

I very well remember my growing-up years, being confined to one’s own room in large government bungalows, full of domestic staff & replete with all available comforts. It may have been luxurious but certainly was a very condemned life with little freedom & no expression or assertion of one’s own personality & character. My possessions & comfortable lifestyle may have been the envy of many, but it was my craving for the basic joys of life which always left me with a vacuum, which has grown all the more bigger with age.

A natural corollary of such upbringing is the limited friend circle I had. To meet new folks you need to explore & not remain confined, be free & not bound. Its no coincidence that I never hanged out with anybody after school or college & was very, very reluctant to bring anybody home. It was in these conditions that I was raised & not surprisingly, grew up & away from my friends & already-distant family.

Perhaps the only thing common to me & my father was our love for porn. He too had a nice collection & was somewhat lonely & addicted like me. But I guess perhaps it was the satisfaction of having done too well in life & career that he never felt aloof like me & always basked in his own hard-earned glory. My mother’s yearning for emotional security & the monster-like character she has developed due to lack of it, brought my alienation to new levels. The flipside of having grown up with all material comforts but very less emotional attachment can lead to a very isolated life, much like Priyanka Chopra confessed in yesterday’s Delhi Times.

Latke jhatke; naye purane

For past few days I have been catching on net a few old music videos which do not appear any longer on TV, unless the cable guy has an old CD running. A few songs which were sizzling many years back have kind of disappeared now & only found in archives. There was a time, when cable TV had just made a foray in India, Hindi songs depicting sleaze or with suggestive lyrics were scoffed at & disapproved. Now with skin show & item numbers order of the day, choli ke peeche no longer rings that bell & sexy, sexy is only complimenting good looks

I have tried to list below some of the raunchiest, titillating & sleazy Hindi videos made, or atleast that I have seen & can recall:

Maang meri bharo – Mamta Kulkarni made everybody jump while she was enticing Akshay in this slow number, all the time inviting him chalo pyar mujhe karo. It could not have got more explicit with ang se ang laga ke, prem sudha barsa ke, dasi teri, pyasi rahi, kitne janam se…

Mujhko ranaji – Mamta was at it again, this time with her jigs in front of a bunch of villains in Karan Arjun. The song reeks of cheap expressions with Mamta’s suggestive dance moves

Lele – a music video made by a group called Hunterz shot on a beach side, in which group of girls in bikinis slam their butts before shaking them, all the time with smiles on their faces

Sarkailo khatiya – anybody now 30 or older will not forget this one easily. Karisma & Govinda’s raunchy number & suggestive dance moves had literally left everybody stunned. For many old timers it was difficult to comprehend what Raj Kapoor’s grand daughter was up to

Mungda – a remix version in which Kashmira Shah looks ravishing hot. Kashmira is dressed in a black fisherwoman costume & gyrates to the tunes vivaciously. Somebody told me few days back Kashmira is now into prostitution, don’t know if its true

Rangeela re – the remix by Deepal Shaw. Deepal is dressed as a school girl & brings the pangs of teenage girls & their quest for freedom & boys to the fore. The number is naughty, atleast I find it to be, depicting the life of spoilt young girls

Dheere dheere nazar – an old song, don’t know if many will remember this one. Madhu dancing in a beer bar in Pehchaan with Sunil Shetty looking on unamused. Madhu indeed looks desirable here.

These were some of my blasts from the past. As per the latest news, Dev D ( I am yet to see this film, waiting for DVD) is the most explicit thing ever on Hindi screen & perhaps can put all of above to shame.

Lollypop

Love thy neighbor goes an old saying, which I seem to have imbibed recently as I seem to have developed something similar for a neighbor. Now don’t get me wrong, this person is not my home neighbor, but a distant neighbor from my workstation. In my office we are seated in an open bay with separations dividing workstation enclosures & on the enclosure on the other side of my workstation are seated a group of three females, each different from the other two. One of the females, I don’t know why, always reminds me of a lollypop. She is a Bong, married to a Punju, aged around 35 & has a chewy appearance. Like a lollypop, her body also has round top supported by narrow bottom, but going by her age looks full & matured. I have never interacted with lollypop, but have over heard her rumblings & rant from the other side of separation. We have made eye-contacts many times, but since have never been introduced (& our work domains are totally unrelated) there has never been any communication.

Lollypop looks bold & confident & has an intoxicating charm that you would associate with single malt on a smoky night. She has a sex appeal that you would associate with Manisha Koirala or Nandita Das, more of substance though never running short on style. After office hours I once visited lollypop’s workstation after she had left, pretending to be looking for the morning newspaper. I noticed photographs of her children & saibaba , which I don’t know why, left me kind of amused.

Perhaps whats attractive about lollypop is her maturity (not referring to her body here, though the upper parts do seem matured) & the way she looks juicy & spongy even at her age. She dresses as a 20ish girl would, with burning red lipstick, jeans & tank tops & has an inviting skin texture, something like a butterscotch scoop. Add her alluring disposition & you get a right wife material. I never thought of marriage as any thing actually worthwhile, but now seems not that bad if I get to suck lollypop!!

AOL anti-corruption march

Yesterday I had been to Delhi to attend an anti-corruption march organized by Art of Living, which was held from Parliament Street to India Gate. Initially I had dropped the idea of going, thinking it to be tedious & not worthwhile, but a call from a friend on Saturday afternoon convinced me that tagging along may not be a bad idea after all. So off I was on Sunday noon, after an early lunch to designated location to board the AOL bus which would take us to Delhi

The AOL bus, organized free of cost by a volunteer for all those participating from Gurgaon, consisted of mostly youngsters, including students & young professionals like me. The journey to Central Delhi, in which I befriended another guy who was a CA with GE, was fun with all of us singing & having a good time. Moreover being a Sunday, roads were thankfully free & empty.

We arrived at the venue, the road behind LIC building near Jantar Mantar in Parliament Street, as per scheduled time. Crowd had just begun to gather with buses arriving from different locations from in & around Delhi & nearby areas including Chandigarh. I could spot a few senior teachers from AOL including Bawa & Dinesh around & also another few from Delhi. The start of the program got delayed a bit, but began with all fanfare when it finally got underway. A host of celebrities from all walks including Prahlad Kakkar, M S Bitta, Arvind Kejriwal, Kiran Bedi gave their take on corruption & how it impacts us today. Kiran Bedi especially was very fiery in her discourse & stressed on accountability of police. Arvind Kejriwal, though very softspoken, threw a lot of light on RTI reforms & transparency in state functioning. It was not difficult to see why he was awarded the Magsaysay after all.

However what stole the show was a poem written by a survivor from Taj attack. The poet here happened to be a young lady, a VP with Citibank, who had survived that ghastly night holed up inside Taj for more than 13 hours, along with her husband. The poem was dedicated to the terrorist & began with comparing the initial life of terrorist & herself. Both played with toys in childhood, had a set of parents, enjoyed with friends etc. but when wounded one picked up gun while the other took to spirituality. Finally he took a mission to kill one & all including our poet, while the spiritual follower escaped all bullets from the wronged terrorist. The gunman is no more, for that is what he chose, while the spiritual follower is alive & stronger by the ordeal……really heart touching

Finally the march began, & we all, an estimated 10,000, walked in a single file on streets of Central Delhi, assisted by Delhi Police vans who helped block traffic on the way for our convenience, until we reached India Gate. A peaceful demonstration later the march was declared over & we all trekked back to our buses. The journey back to Gurgaon in late evening was also marked with the same enthusiasm as in the morning, with everybody chirpy & eating the free snacks & fruits served, before we reached our houses by dinner time

To my surprise I did not feel any fatigue or exhaustion after reaching back.