Friday, March 13, 2009

Am I gay?

Last evening happened to while away some time on net & came across a few gay blogs. Must admit that they do make for some interesting reading. Gays are known to be the most creative people & don’t suffer from the usual syndromes that many of us do. However one thing peculiar among gays is their obsession with sex. Straight guys are also no less obsessed but never find them searching for mates so desperately. Also gays seem to be more promiscuous & often require no invitation.

After going through the gay stuff I began wondering: am I gay? Maybe not but I have had a few experiences where I can call myself bi-curious. It all started in school hostel, when puberty & the resultant on surge of hormones had lead to experimentation with few classmates. But I guess that’s normal, everybody learns to shag somehow. And its not limited to guys only. Females also go through this discovery stage; a friend confessed to me once how she learnt all good things in her hostel in Mussorie. And that included help from props like carrots & spoons & many times used to be an all inclusive affair with all her dorm mates involved.

Some years back I had posted my gay experiences on net & got a mail from a young gay from Mumbai, enticing me for an alliance. I did exchange few mails with him, where we discussed mutual desires, but to be downright honest I felt like shit & helluva repulsive after that dalliance. If I can recall correctly, name of that guy was Harsh & he had mailed even snaps of his organs to me!

Few months back a young trainee in office was continuously pestering me on inter-office communicator with messages of friendship at all times/true friends etc. I suspect that guy was not straight for he went too far when talking of caring & sharing between friends. Mercifully the communicator has a block option, so he made a permanent exit from my message system. I spotted him a few days back in office & will have to hesitatingly admit, he indeed does look cute.

So now the million dollar question that I have to ask myself: am I gay? Maybe yes, maybe no; but being a gay is definitely not a crime. Infact I now find gays to be comparatively better human beings. I don’t think I am gay either, my past experiences notwithstanding; I maybe a lesbian though, for that is my favorite choice of porn!

3 comments:

  1. Ah! I guess it was just the curiosity that made you explore the avenue.. I had gone through the phase when I thought I was bi-sexual..

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  2. You know...I didn't figure u for a male. Honest...
    I was a bit taken aback!
    :)
    now...as for being better people...anyone, who has been discriminated against...becomes a better, more empathetic person be they gay or just plain "fat". or Dark skinned.
    This is something...u may want to experiment with....before coming to a conclusion...talk to an analyst....it helps :)
    good luck with discovering yourself!

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