Friday, May 8, 2009

Oh…that dirty flab

This morning I went into the toilet in office & checked my image first front view & then side view. The former looked good (as always!) but the latter was a real fucking alarm. I have been putting on oodles of stinking flab & it shows unashamedly on my body. I had quit working out in November & foolishly did not resume when winters had subsided. Now at times I resemble a distant cousin of Oblix with that paunch bulging out & threatening to grow even bigger if not nipped right now.

I now realize dirty fat does not come unannounced but does emit a few signals before the final assault, which one ignores at own peril. You know you have been putting on when …

1) Never want to sit in front of mirror, and even if you do, first reaction is a gasp & tuck-in

2) Try to avoid your own silhouette forming, lest you observe a convex surface
3) Clothes, especially trousers, which were a perfect fit earlier now tighten around the lovely round butts & squeeze around the waist

4) Use of a belt is not required many times. Instead you try to have more punches & holes to hold the increased width

5) While doing yoga & meditation, if you happen to hold the waist with hands, the grab of the palm increases with both hands filled in with the soft, puppy stuff.

6) If you happen to pass through the front door mirror & catch your face’s reflection, you wonder whose chubby cheeks they are

7) Exercises & asanas, done easily earlier now become cumbersome & the puppy fat at waist starts to spill out at many postures

8) A feeling of disbelief engulfs if you happen to visit a clothes stores. It happened with me in Jammu recently since my waist had enhanced a good deal & I was left dumbfounded upon seeing my new measurement

9) People start recognizing your like for sweets & ice-creams, till you realize what is being actually commented upon

If anybody knows personal fitness trainer of Kareena Kapoor do let me know. And please do not pass any greasy, creamy recipes

7 comments:

  1. i know exactly how u feel unfortunately. :( u shud read my latest post...we shud keep each other motivated!

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  2. It also happens when the door bell rings and you want someone else to open it.

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  3. Pesto Sauce...interesting blog name.
    Well, like you said, you look good front view, always!
    So...what's the problem? :-)
    I can't relate to any of your list...but I heard liquid diet works.
    Also, you might want to consult with Dr. Coffee Angel.
    Thanks for the visit.

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  4. LMAO - so effing true :D
    try hot yoga. does wonders for teh complexion and the body! two for one lol

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  5. ha ha ha ha :D :D

    I am not gonna comment anything else ;)

    I have been fat since ages.. now I dont remember how i looked when I wasnt :D

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  6. OMG, i know what u mean, m going thru the same friggin thing!

    and i dont think kareena's trainer could help me. i dont think even god could help me. maybe a monthlong bout of dysentry might help.
    loved ur blog. do visit...

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