Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Big B

Everybody has some assets to preserve & some to display. But what do I have. These big B. No I am not talking about Amitabh. I am talking about a pair of beefy, fatty pounds of flesh which constitute my behind. Its no shame to have big butts, but its nothing short of embarrassment either. I have had these pair of huge footballs since birth & have grown up with them. My growth was natural & synchronous with my age; but these twins actually outgrew my body, and now really look 'outstanding'.

Well I don't have anything personally against them; after all they are parts of my body only. But you know how I envy others, when I see small children bathing in the open, I am full of rage. They are all nude & have taut, fatless hips. But my pair of globes are totally different. They fill up my hand when I try to hold them & form a half moon shape outline, when I see them in the mirror.

It is because of these twin masterpieces that I have not been able to do many things naturally. I could never run properly, for then they would dangle & form a pendulum like oscillation. I cannot even sit properly in a chair, for then the extra fat in them would smudge & hurt the bones. I could never wear tight clothes or jeans, for then my J Lo like figure would emerge. It always were a somewhat lose jeans with T shirt hanging out.

I know I am not alone in this league. I have some prominent club members like Benazir Bhutto, Chandan Mitra, Roger Binny, Gauri Karnik & of course, world famous J Lo. They are all famous & known, but all of them (except perhaps the last one) try to hide their twin towers in the curtain of their clothes.

I guess I should no more be ashamed of them & should display my twins with pride & fun. But sometimes seeing the stares of others makes me nervous. In college, a notorious group of girls always used to wait for me to enter the college gate & have their morning view followed by lewd comments kya mast mote hain; dabaane to de zaraa. Seeing me approach, everyone wanted to have a side glimpse of me. But then I grew smart & got a wardrobe of somewhat lose clothes.

I am now used to having them big & have now learnt to live with them. Every morning first thing in bed I check my prized possessions, if they have retained their shape or have been punctured. But if given a chance I would like to paste them on this blog!!


  1. Haa haa..Funny. Laughing it off is the best way to handle your Big B :).

  2. *J Lo like figure*
    In most parts of my world, this is a compliment :)
    It isn't called an Indian figure for nothing. But it comes with "other" advantageous outgrowths of flesh that Americans and some Europeans lack which makes them look like ironing boards.

  3. Rite..very very disturbingly enlightening :P. hehe...on the bright side..atleast gals r comment maroying u na.;-)

  4. I have only one BIG B (Belly, in my case) but I fully share your feelings!

  5. LMAO!
    that was hilarious!

  6. HILARIOUS!!!!

    You seem to be such a sport!! Keep it up! :)