Thursday, June 24, 2010

Has my time come?

Since the time I have landed in Muscat, something inexplicable is happening with me, no not the ones one may think of, but I am seeing everything through a prism of coupling up soon. At times such thoughts seemed weird to me, not because they are not unnatural, but because by and large till now I have been content in my solitude and never thought those mushy things were for me. It may seem a lot unusual but I have never desired romanticism or companionship much, satisfying physical needs being something else, and infact have been guilty of running away from open invitations and not picking subtle hints. But off late there is a tacit acceptance somewhere of an eventual and gradual change in status

So what is it that’s making my mind change directions these days? Surely Muscat is not a romantic city by any length though it is a wonderful place to live, much better than many Indian cities. My life has not changed so much – I still follow same routine, same weekend getaways, same shopping at malls, same hobbies – so what is that’s making me open matrimonial sites these days?

Browsing my blog, I stumbled upon this posted exactly an year ago and could then think of following which may explain the tectonic shift in my thinking

*I wanted to be away from my family which I am now, so thoughts about building a future creeping in
*Am now independently managing myself, but will build a better nest if someone to share comes along
*Life is about moving through different stages, now career has upgraded so why not marital status?
*I look more like a real man these days, I was stunned to catch my own fleeting appearance in a corner mirror last week
*And finally I now make decent dough, which counts the most, so can afford some luxuries

But marriage is not an achievement and has dangers innumerable – a wrong partner can bring unlimited agony, if frequencies do not match its hell for both, an alliance should not be a compromise but contentment and importantly where do you search? Matrimonial sites are like brothels with catchy display and each highlighting own self, those who have visited whorehouses will understand. Also for me specifically marriage brings more than its share of risk:

*I am a quiet guy leading a dreary existence who enjoys his drink, music and fuck at end of day not the wild party types
*I hate shopping with a capital H while females swear by retail therapy
*I have never tested waters before so companionship will be a new thing for me altogether with unknown pitfalls
*My upbringing in a dysfunctional family brings its own share of abhorrence and resentment; a far cry from loving, caring and sharing that marriage demands
*I am a sucker for stuff that’s intellectual or spiritual and anyone ignorant of these doesn’t rate too high with me or is rather deplored
*Females are sensitive and complicated which gets tough to decipher
*I have been through shit before in terms of having a too authoritative and suppressing female in my life; I don’t want another reincarnation of my Mom please

Perhaps now I can relate to what some others known to me in past were going through when craving an alliance while I ridiculed them in my heart of heart. Frankly I used to mock and sneer at people, both in real and virtual world, who were always on lookout for love interest as if nothing better to do, but now slowly I am realizing its only a completion of oneself that’s been sought

I have now grasped and realized for better that matrimony is a stage of life which eventually many graduate to when life is complete but there is still something lacking. But the question I find asking myself many times these days is: has my time come?


  1. Let me sum it up..

    Shaadi aisa laddo hai jokhaaye pachtaye jo nakhaaye pachtayee..

    so na pachtaye is you here and kha ke pachtaye is me here:D

  2. ooo i see ur ready to get hitched! :D

  3. I've been wondering the exact same thing ever since I landed myself in Islamabad. Unlike Mascat though, Isb 'is' a totally romantic city, but that doesn't explain this inexplicable urge to 'settle down' and 'have someone to come home to', and other depressingly grown up desires. Methinks that's how it happens, when you're ready you 'know'. And after you know there's just a long, dreary wait until Mr (or Ms) Marriage comes along.

    Life, is very difficult, I think. :S

  4. lol @ I look more like a real man these days:D...hmm..interesting post..I agree with can make a pros and cons list for either way..just like all things in life..shouldn't stop you from taking the next step though..and from the sound of seems like you're beginning to want to! So take the plunge! :P

  5. give urself sometime. u if u 2 or more out of the next 5 posts are abt this issue.Then maybe it is time.

  6. dude. the day you get into a happy relationship would make me so happy!

    waiting for that to happen. yes your time has come *aaashirwaaad*

  7. You have no idea how much I loved this post... Kinda like makes me tuhink over things once again :|M

  8. Thanks for dropping by my blog! Glad you liked it :)
    Do come by again!

  9. Your time has come when you feel ready.. and from the looks of this post, looks like you are ready to take on the big R (relationship) as a challenge!

  10. i would just say that it is definitely worth a shot and soon you will realize that this is the best thing that happened to you..and trust me shopping trips aren't that bad ;)

  11. kheehee!laughing at the comments you got.
    The weird thing you're experiencing is coz you are abiding alone at anew place..but still 29 eh..!you should start thinking now.

  12. I *likes* your blog. Has I said that to you before?

  13. I think you'll find that the time "has come" when you find the right person. :]

  14. marriages are made in heaven (because hell has been fully booked) hahahaha. enter it at ur own risk dude:)))

  15. there is absolutely nothing like settling down with a right person and when you think of your life fifty years later and would want to be with that person , then you know that you have found her.
    and Insha'Allah it will happen for you.

  16. 生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。......................................................................

  17. Wow, how sweet is your blog!!! :))
    If you get the time - and I hope you will :) - please check out my blog. I think you might like it!

    Hoping to hear from you soon, sweetie!

  18. now that its happening to you..i'm sure the time actually has come :)

  19. I think it has...there is always a subtle change in our ideas and ideals as we finally shred that final tag of being a young adult to completely embracing adulthood..I really think that has made the shift possible.

  20. There is one saying by a certain rapper legend he said, " No matter how much love you put out there fear will always win" I don't believe is about taking chances and following your heart! I hope you just let it is about the journey not the planning!

  21. We all wander the paths we have before us. It is how we pay attention to the steps or the view that mark our travel as our own.
    Rock on!

  22. Dude, start dating! Start dating! Start dating!
    That will answer MOST of your questions.

    And you do NOT have to like shopping. I'm gay and I hate it! (Okay, that's 'cos I don't have much money of my own, but still...)