Big B

Everybody has some assets to preserve & some to display. But what do I have. These big B. No I am not talking about Amitabh. I am talking about a pair of beefy, fatty pounds of flesh which constitute my behind. Its no shame to have big butts, but its nothing short of embarrassment either. I have had these pair of huge footballs since birth & have grown up with them. My growth was natural & synchronous with my age; but these twins actually outgrew my body, and now really look 'outstanding'.

Well I don't have anything personally against them; after all they are parts of my body only. But you know how I envy others, when I see small children bathing in the open, I am full of rage. They are all nude & have taut, fatless hips. But my pair of globes are totally different. They fill up my hand when I try to hold them & form a half moon shape outline, when I see them in the mirror.

It is because of these twin masterpieces that I have not been able to do many things naturally. I could never run properly, for then they would dangle & form a pendulum like oscillation. I cannot even sit properly in a chair, for then the extra fat in them would smudge & hurt the bones. I could never wear tight clothes or jeans, for then my J Lo like figure would emerge. It always were a somewhat lose jeans with T shirt hanging out.

I know I am not alone in this league. I have some prominent club members like Benazir Bhutto, Chandan Mitra, Roger Binny, Gauri Karnik & of course, world famous J Lo. They are all famous & known, but all of them (except perhaps the last one) try to hide their twin towers in the curtain of their clothes.

I guess I should no more be ashamed of them & should display my twins with pride & fun. But sometimes seeing the stares of others makes me nervous. In college, a notorious group of girls always used to wait for me to enter the college gate & have their morning view followed by lewd comments kya mast mote hain; dabaane to de zaraa. Seeing me approach, everyone wanted to have a side glimpse of me. But then I grew smart & got a wardrobe of somewhat lose clothes.

I am now used to having them big & have now learnt to live with them. Every morning first thing in bed I check my prized possessions, if they have retained their shape or have been punctured. But if given a chance I would like to paste them on this blog!!