Yes I did it

This post contains adult content. Reader discretion is strongly advised. Also those with moral inhibitions and scruples should refrain from scrolling down

My planned rendezvous yesterday went as per schedule and it was indeed an experience. I left in morning, bought a triple-pack of Durex and reached the assigned venue slightly late. I was picked up from given spot in a black Santro and taken to a dingy, non-descript bylane nearby. Upon entering one of the under-constructed houses, I was taken to a desolate room with a double bed, where two plain Janes were paraded in front of me. I asked for recommendation and was suggested one which I took, before which I made the payment. Although I had stuck the deal for 4000 bucks but had to part with 500 extra

The intercourse to be honest was nothing special to write home about. I was heated in the sun and the chick was sleeping in AC, so bodies took some time to adjust. To start with she did not kiss, perhaps to avoid infections. When we did undress ourselves, she was not forthcoming and to be blunt, she tasted awful. Long after in the evening also, I had a torrid sensation lingering in my mouth with all the boob sucking that I had done. Only her back was inviting and somewhat worth licking. Also it took sometime to slip on a condom, which I had never done before. She asked me many times to pull the rubber down but the foreskin actually hurts there! Good thing was the Durex was always on and we used another one after the first one came off. I could not enter her, only insertion happened when she was on top for a while but that too required mutal effort. I finally asked her to suck me off, which she dutifully did for a long time (I again had her back meanwhile) with very well timed to and fro movements, but guess the pressure does not work with a condom on. Eventually her mouth started to pain and I had to use my own methods to discharge myself, after which I quietly left

I am really thankful to my blogger friends for egging me on here, especially Rookie Blogger (now rechristened Miss Over Thought). Sex is indeed a very important and enjoyable activity and when done right way can give a lot of fulfillment and fun. The loneliness which had crept into my life was hurting like anything and at least having some action going did provide some solace

However I also realized that sex is not a one-off activity, I mean its more an act of giving. If you actually love, or even like someone, the intercourse will be more fulfilling and you will always look at pleasing the other person, and this happens irrespective of gender. After all sex is in an intimate activity and only if your relationship with the other person is somewhat dil ka mamla, will the fire burn. While doing it with a whore, you are just doing it; but if a beloved is involved, there is some exchange of energies, apart from saliva and semen, happening which gives a lot of deep satisfaction resulting in greater ecstasy. Nothing, believe me nothing, can match the warmth of a relationship and its associated intimacy, which acts as a fodder to the ever-hungry human mind, body and soul.

Till my next time happens, which I hope will be more intimate, enjoyable and with someone better tasting, this one will do and till then I can at least be in some peace

Ready to Roll

I can’t believe I am doing it, but my first and wishfully only interaction with the world’s oldest profession is all set for tomorrow. You never know what you can become or what you end up doing, but guess at times you do end up doing things which seemed unimaginable sometime back

Meanwhile my interaction with different service providers has been nothing short of interesting. In this city every type and color is available, right from a housemaid to Neha Dhupia. One guy I contacted had been insisting upon a Femina model, someone called Priyanka Oberoi now staying at Taj Ambassador. She costs a bomb, but he says you never know what you may end up achieving. He explains by boasting of having slept with Payal Rohatgi 5 years back for just 20 grands and now Payal has a six month advance booking. He further adds that the current in-demand celeb is Shweta Tiwari, who has been most active this year

My choice was a Spicejet Airhostess but she is too pricey. I checked some other places where local stuff is available at reasonable cost, though all of them claim to be college grads or aspiring models. I had initially zeroed in on a guy in PVR Saket, who had outstation students to offer, but then other offers are also tempting

One female I contacted was affectionate to talk and asked me to come over. I asked her Police ka koi locha to nahi, whereby she asked if I was a gujju. I falsely replied yes, then she talked of Dhokla, jaljeera, mithaas etc. She called me last night and is insisting me to come to her only, which perhaps I will. As per directions I am to reach Hyatt by 11 and call her, where upon I will be picked and taken to a guest house nearby for my fantasy session.

I am withdrawing money from bank today and tomorrow morning will be buying condoms, perhaps will go for Durex. I have never even kissed a girl till date, but guess will do warm-up, sprint and marathon together tomorrow.

Bliss and rejuvenation

I am just back from an Art of Living Advanced Course, which I thankfully did not miss due to ill-health, and must say how glad I am that I underwent this one. Four days of calmness, meditation and maun vrat and all of a sudden I am feeling totally rejuvenated. Agreed the schedule for past four days was punishing, with yoga starting at 6 AM and day ending at almost 10 PM, in-between filled up with powerful meditations, knowledge sessions, music and to top it, total silence with no interaction with anyone! And yes, we were also assigned some community/social service in morning hours, which meant literally no time off. Amazingly I am not feeling fatigued even one bit now, which is hard to believe for a sleepaholic like me.

I could not complete the Advanced Course successfully last year and had burned out in-between. Agreed the Course is no joke by any standards and is almost a mini-tapasya, to be survived on bare food while following a rigorous schedule. But this time around, as if almost by magic, I am through and smiling, or rather beaming.

When I did my first Art of Living course two years back, I was in a bit of turmoil with strained relations at home, but I guess I have now taken that to be a constant in my life, and this time I actually experienced total bliss. Also adding to the experience was the venue chosen this time round. Its an amazing underwater meditation center on outskirts of Gurgaon, with aqua life and pond forming the roof of the meditation hall!!

Meanwhile I have not forgotten my physical bliss while in middle of spiritual bliss, and am planning something for this weekend. I am working on a few logistics and choices, but the good thing is the abundance of choice available here though rates increase dramatically with the quality. Perhaps I will have to go to Delhi, but what the fuck, after all its only for a fuck

My Favorites

I had been tagged to list my favorites, so as is my wont picked up some unusual topics

E mail subjects
*Urgent – most unimportant mails carry this line
*Kind attn – some people have got so used to using fax, the habit carries on
*Pls reply at your convenience – am yet to receive a mail with this subject

Bathroom accessories
*Commode shower – very convenient and aim never misses the target
*Tissue paper – actually comes in very handy
*Mirror – only one to admire full monty

Colors of socks
*Black – darkness here hides the dirt
*Camel – looks elegant
*Grey – reminds me of school days

Mobile caller tunes
*Arre o Samba – gabbar tune really rocks
*There is a tone in which a lady’s voice appears and she says her husband is having bath, so don’t hang up as she is free to talk and enjoy
*There is a tone of glass breaking, which makes you look behind every time you hear it

Erotic films
*Wild Things – threesome here is one of the hottest scenes ever on screen
*Striptease – Demi Moore couldn’t have got hotter than this
*Basic Instinct – there is a deleted threesome from second part. Mind blowing
*Thirteen – nothing nude here, but I love the teen mischief displayed

Down for the day

Oh God, it was happening to everyone everywhere, but I never thought it would hit me also. I could sense that things were not right on Sunday afternoon, when I was feeling unusually warm, but after a long siesta I was back to normal in evening. Since I had slept like a log on both the weekend days, was not getting early sleep on Sunday night, but as my insomnia prolonged I was deprived of sleep for most of the night. On Monday naturally my plight was unfortunate in the morning and the office air-conditioner further aggravated my condition. And here I am, totally down with bed rest prescribed and on a sick leave at home

It gets all the more scary since the famous flu is a major hit these days. I have been precautioned to look out for those dreaded symptoms and if anything averse turns up, to rush for a test nearby. Perhaps the common flu is also in the air these days and since some of the symptoms are common, a lot of unnecessary panic is being created.

To be honest I completely despise being ill and down, which makes me stay away from work. It was only in my school days that I used to wait for change of weather and sickness, to get those days off. Moreover I also have an Art of Living course lined up for the weekend, which I do not want to miss at any cost. I may be up in a few days and get back to work soon, but it is the stupid office AC which can act as a villain. How some office comforts can turn unwanted at times

Meanwhile I have given a serious thought to my predicament outlined in my last post. I am thankful to my blogger friends for their uninhibited, empathizing advice which has actioned me to do something about my loneliness. I have spoken to few service providers around and am contemplating of organising a tete-a-tete nearby by end of this month. That will be some action which I am honestly looking forward to and will give some solace to my biological desires and provide some soothe to my dwindling psyche.

But first have to come out of this rotten bout of illness

Bhai koi hain

Off late something strange is happening in my life, no not the supernatural variety but something of coming of age type. I am of marriageable age, atleast that’s what being 28 means in our society, and suddenly people are talking, or rather asking when I plan to take the bold step. However I fail to understand what growing in age has to do with being married?

To be honest, many of the people I grew up with have tied the knot or are due to do so soon and they are comprised of both the genders. It feels kind of strange that same people I used to play with the other day are now running their own household, and I am still living the life of yesteryears. Though I never gave marriage a serious thought earlier, but now seem to getting reconciled to the idea of a marriage soon

Perhaps one reason for a tacit acceptance of concept of marriage has to do with the loneliness in my life. I long for the passion and warmth that companionship can bring, the female aura which does act as a catalyst to the male hormone, the unmatchable heady feeling; or as Sushmita Sen once said, its only a woman who tells a man what loving, caring and sharing is all about. And yes, I also long to have sex, and am desperate to get my daily dose. I have contacted some of the escort service providers advertised in Hindustan Times and they do have some decent stuff available but at a cost. Had I not been living with my family, would have surely arranged a rendezvous by now. Come on don’t deny, don’t we all love doing it

During some of my nights I do feel lonely, lying alone in bed either surfing porn or doing some other stuff. Many times I wish I could speak to someone, someone who could bring some excitement in my life, someone with warmth and belongingness. I used to have phone sex with a girl some years back, but she too comes as busy or engaged now. I yearn for a female body and soul; require more of former than latter

This is not to say that marriage will be all bliss. First I have to get away from my folks, no question of staying with them and tying the knot, which will be like making a special booking and reservation in hell. Also all those married are not necessarily enjoying themselves. In my recent post, the suicide happened due to dissonance in marriage, that too after 30 married years. A companion has to be carefully chosen…one you can trust, who cares and of course does not bite

Guess I am getting desperate; my ejaculations also have lost that old force, being a virgin can be frustrating at times. Any co-desperate soul lurking nearby? Bhai koi hain…

My first tag

I am not very much into tags, but since this one has come from a real candid blogger, I have poured out my stuff and takes.

1. What is your favorite item of clothing? Bermudas – actually feel the comfort whenever I am in them
2. What are your biggest obsessions? Can’t say if I have been obsessed with anything. Believe more in moving on
3. What are your 3 favorite smells? i)I somehow like the smell of cigarettes, though I am not a regular smoker myself
ii)I like the odor which comes from female boobs sometimes. It is a captivating fragrance, guess emanated only during menstruation
iii)I simply love the smell of scotch

4. What are your 3 favorite tastes? Jack Daniels, tandoori chicken and the lips of my dorm mate in hostel. We used to make out often and his dark complexion and hot breath were simply irresistible.

5. Who inspires you? Many people have actually, though I admire Mahatma Gandhi a lot. Nobody understood India and Indianness better than him

6. Who is your favorite designer and why? None. To be honest I am not much into clothing and shopping

7. What is your favorite song ever?. Humne dekhi in ankhon ki mahakti khushboo from Khamoshi (very old film). This one actually defines genuine love and what it should actually be like, amazing lyrics pyaar ko pyaar hi rahne do, haath se chhoo kar rishto ka ilzam na do

8. What is your favorite song right now? Don’t remember the words, but the one in Love Aajkal when Saif and Deepika go round exploring Delhi. Very catchy tune, I increase the volume when its on FM

9. If you were a sweet what would you be? Daulat ki chaat. Its an exotic sweet prepared in earthen pots in UP, all fluffy at top and very, very exotic. Resembles me because its tough to prepare and though it adds lots of calories, is still much sought.

10. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet - what words would you use to describe your rainbow? Colors of rainbow may remain same, but shades will keep changing as per my mood, read the heading of this blog to understand more.

11. What are your favorite films?
Darr and Corporate
*I liked Darr for the intensity, simply loved it as a kid when SRK, all psyched up, went K..K…Kiran. Many times I imagined myself as Sunny who has Juhi all to himself, and SRK getting jealous of me
*In Corporate, the back-stage wheeling dealing and the sleaze has been captured all too well. The film has a racy tone with all elements of corporate rivalry thrown in. And for the first time in bollywood, celebrity prostitution has been openly depicted.
12. Who is your favorite actor? Amitabh Bacchhan. Period

13. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? Not where I am right now. Anywhere away from the people who are out to spoil my life
14. What is your most treasured possession? Yet to possess that….but it can be the foreskin on my organ, where else will I get the friction from

15. What did you always want to be/do when you grew up? I always wanted to be in Civil services, never thought I would be here
16. If you were an ice-cream what flavour would you be? Black currant, sexy and strong
17. If someone made a short film about your life, who would play you? Abhay Deol….he is not starry, but definitely talented
18. What would your perfect afternoon consist of? Napping, watching porn on my laptop, shagging or if I have company, do the real thing. Miss my hostel days here; my classmates frequented the nearby brothel, though I never got to even wear a condom
19. What turns you on? Somehow I like girls who smoke
20. Tell me one random thing... be it your favorite line from a song, scene from a movie or anything from your life During my first job, when I was undergoing training in Bangalore in 2004, someone analyzed my handwriting and said three things – I like to stay alone many times, I have deep analyzing powers and I am not attached to anyone. She could not have been more near to truth.

I am not tagging anyone but any willing soul is free to pick this tag

No one dies alone

I just came back from an emergency trip to Jammu today, a family friend had committed suicide and I along with Mom, dashed off to offer condolences and be with the grieving family. It is indeed heart wrenching to see the demise of dear ones and witness the grief and pain of surviving family, moreso if you have grown up with them. What compounds the issue here is no one is sure if it is a suicide or murder, since the death happened under mysterious circumstances. Add to this the fact that the deceased was one of the wealthiest and most prominent businessmen in Jammu; the entire city is buzzing with all kinds of rumors and speculating on various possibilities and theories.

However it is very tough to accept someone known to you all these years could kill himself for no apparent reason. Even the family is confused and there is a sense of denial why someone would voluntarily go away. Two days of grieving, condoling and sympathizing has taken a toll on my body and mind as well, more intensified by the mystery shrouding the death. Its only today I am feeling somewhat better.

I believe suicide is a sign of cowardice and death will come to all, why invite it yourself. However there are many whose plight is one of suffering and cannot get away from a miserable life that they have been doomed to, and ultimately resort to this extreme step. For one they cannot escape from the clutches of their sad life, and the associated agony that they have to live with, which very few else will understand or empathize with. There are certain people in my life too, who I will not be very unhappy if they volunteer to go away. Death is a hard fact of life and end of everything, but a life with no hope or which deprives others of joys, is better not lived.

Tomorrow is my father’s death anniversary. Looking back I can just think how much my life has changed since he went away. Seven years back there was a sense of optimism and zeal I associated with my life, which unknowingly, I don’t know where, has disappeared. Its true that death is not a individual phenomena, there are many happy lives which are consigned to flames along with the cadaver.

What love has become aajkal

Last evening had been to see the latest flick Love Aajkal along with my folks at a nearby mall (where else in Gurgaon). First of all the fucking car gave way, it would simply not start when I had to leave office. Thanks to the muscles of the security guard, the engine picked up finally and I managed to reach back on time. Yesterday I also discovered that watching a film on a weekday is a big pain, what with fatigue all the time ruling your body, which keeps longing for the comforts of that lovely bed.

Love Aajkal is watchable though can’t call it outstanding. Although Shobhaa De has torn the film apart in her blog, I will still recommend it to those out for dating adventures. It is actually nothing more than a spoof the Gen Y relationships, whose Facebook status keeps changing from committed to single and back to committed every week. Also by drawing a parallel with the relationships of previous generation, it exhibits the hollowness that modern-day living has got accustomed to. In a way, it is like the difference between the film music of two generations, old black and white songs are still hummable while the modern day remix gore is forgotten in actually no time

Watching the film reminded me of someone I had met online ages ago, guess then I was in college. We did cross paths again some years back, thanks to MSN Messenger which keeps old friend list intact. This time she had shifted to Gurgaon from abroad, and was residing nearby only, so we did get to see each other in flesh and blood. But must say she was a major disappointment, with a boring disposition and an unremarkable appearance. Her face actually resembled a commode. What surprised me though was the spate of affairs she had been through, with men of all kinds having been through her. I could never fathom what juice anyone would get from her, but the fact remained that she was in much demand and sought for fun. Perhaps her affairs were more because of her ravishing hot, vodka guzzler Mom, for whom I still have the hots.

Coming back to theme of the film, I have known many people who have romanced their way through youth with someone but ultimately tied the knot with someone totally else. Infact I came to know that in many technical colleges down south, it is fashionable for Northie chicks to date those available and around, before flying off to their NRI grooms. A few of my classmates in post-graduation had a whale of time dating and coupling, later getting married to ‘childhood sweethearts’.

In a way, Love Aajkal is coming of age cinema defining the changing dating status, a far cry from Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hain 10 years back, wherein SRK famously proclaimed hum jeete hain ek baar, marte hain ek baar, zindagi main pyaar bhi ek baari hota hain. In the middle of film, Saif broaches taboo topic sex somewhere with Rishi Kapoor, when Rishi laments that Gen Y hits the bed at first opportunity, with abstinence and morals gone to the dogs. Perhaps it is the uncontrollable hormones and the liberal economy moolah, which is responsible for redefining Love Aaj Kal.

Weekend conundrum

I am in the middle of another weekend and continuing with my mundane existence. Well weekend does ring a bell and does bring a smile to many a faces, but many times you keep wondering what to do over those long weekends. Surely had I been staying with friends, rather than at home, could have cooked up some plans, or rather gone on a drinking binge; but for past few years it’s been mostly indoors. Only since I have bought this laptop that a few times I have smiled at the prospect of weekends, looking forward to watching those pirated DVDs or reading whats happening in others’ lives.

I guess this obsession with weekends is more to do with our blind aping of the West, where people do actually switch off on weekends and go on their own retreat. In India weekends during my growing up years meant watching old films on Doordarshan at 6 PM on Sundays or the entire family jumbled up on sofa and bed, watching Ramayana on the solitary TV at home. Its only recently that concept of weekend has gone more up market, with pubs, partying and malls coming into existence, moreso in larger Indian cities.

My weekends have been nothing exciting though, always stuck at home lazying around. I despised my friend some years back, who used to come to office on Mondays with fresh snaps of his sojourns to nearby hill resorts and adventure sports outlets. I used to feel let down many times, for aren’t these bachelor years the only ones to enjoy? At times I feel life was much better off during my growing up years in the small town of Srinagar, surely a far thought from the rat-race of this corporate jungle called Gurgaon. If nothing else, at least there was contentment in small things, which resulted in closeness with family and not the present day abhorrence and coldness, albeit giving a glitzy appearance.

This weekend may go slightly better. Today morning I was out shopping with my folks buying home stuff and in the evening may visit gym or catch something on this laptop. Tomorrow I will be attending Toastmasters in first half and watching a film in second.

However don’t mistake my idleness on weekends for my preference of attending office. Anyday I would stay at home and be idle than attend office on weekends, and I don’t think I am alone in believing that.